


An Honourable Man

by Cithara



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Drama, HP: EWE, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Post-War, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-27 09:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 62,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13877952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cithara/pseuds/Cithara
Summary: After being held hostage by the Death Eaters, a blood magic ritual threatens Harry's life and Severus must step in and marry him to ensure his safety. As they embark on a marriage, Severus realises that he knows very little about the man he's married, and indeed has many lessons to learn about himself.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [An Honourable Man - Cithara](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14943765) by [thesnarrysarchivist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesnarrysarchivist/pseuds/thesnarrysarchivist)



> This fic parts company with cannon somewhere around Book 6. Dumbledore is still alive and the epilogue never happened. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> **Please note - this story contains material that may be upsetting or triggering for some readers. Nothing is graphic or detailed but some upsetting incidents are referenced.**

An Honourable Man Part 1

Severus Snape liked to think of himself as an honourable man. He was not a kind one, or a patient one, or even a particularly amusing one, but, he was sure that if anyone was asked, they would attest that he was at least honourable.

It was for that reason, and that reason alone, that he agreed to marry Harry Potter. The request had come from Dumbledore, as had all catastrophic requests in his life, and, as was usually the case with the old coot, he felt compelled to acquiesce to the desperate plea.

It would have had to have been desperate. No one in their right mind, especially Potter himself, thought that the marriage was a good idea; it was, however, a necessary one. The trouble had started eight months ago when a 19-year-old Potter had been captured by Death Eaters. He had been held hostage for nigh on a week before Draco Malfoy, of all people, had rescued him and returned him to Hogwarts.

Severus remembered the night the bloodied and battered boy had been placed in a bed in the Hospital Wing, drifting in and out of consciousness, as the Weasley boy and Granger girl had hovered nearby, wringing their hands frantically and waiting for news on their beloved Boy Wonder. Draco had looked ashen, his own lip split and bleeding and his normally pristine hair and robes dishevelled and dirty.

Once it had been determined that Potter wouldn't shuffle off the mortal coil any time soon, Severus had felt justified in leaving. The best thing he could do for the boy was to prepare the necessary potions he would need for his recovery and leave the coddling to those who did it best. He returned to the Hospital Wing only when he, or his concoctions were needed.

It had to be said that Potter's recovery was a slow one. The boy had suffered all manner of abuse at the hands of his tormentors, and while Severus didn't ask for any of the particulars, it was obvious that but for Draco, the boy would have died a slow and painful death.

On the few occasions he did venture up to the Hospital, he had to admit, he had been shocked by what he had seen. He had seen Potter bounce back from all manner of incidents, usually with irritatingly Gryffindor-esque alacrity, but this was different. The array of black and blue bruises that adorned his face did little to hide the pale, gauntness underneath, and he had never seen the boy's eyes so dull and devoid of life.

Stranger still, he would tolerate no one coming near him, save for Draco, whom Severus had seen him positively cling to one evening when he had silently entered the Hospital to deposit a fresh bottle of muscle relaxing potion. The blond former Slytherin had been sitting on Potter's bed, and had the boy gathered up in his arms, slowly rocking him from side to side as Potter's breathing came harsh and erratic.

" _Ssh,_ " Draco had soothed, " _just breathe. I'm here, it's ok, I'm here._ "

" _You won't leave?"_  had come the voice, which sounded absolutely terrified.

" _I promised you I wouldn't. Try to get some sleep, I'll be right here._ "

Eventually, Potter had let Weasley and Granger into the Hospital, much to their relief, but he would still let no one else near him, and seemed to shy away from any attempt at physical contact that was made by anyone apart from his saviour.

Still, all in all, he had come through the whole thing alive, which was more than most could boast, Severus had thought at the time. It seemed he still had a spark of resilience about him too, for merely two months later, the boy finally killed Voldemort. It all happened rather anti-climatically in the end, which, when all was said and done, Severus wasn't going to complain about.

After the many years of planning and training, the plots that had formed and been summarily cast aside, all it took was a simple killing curse. Well, perhaps simple wasn't the right word. The force of the curse Potter had cast had been truly breath-taking; it hadn't just killed Voldemort, it had annihilated him, destroyed him from the inside out, turning his bones to dust and his organs to jelly. When it was finally over there wasn't enough of the Dark Lord left to put in an envelope.

Severus had wondered if Potter's experience with the Death Eaters had had something to do with it. He had never doubted that the boy had power, he had witnessed it on enough occasions, and even he had to grudgingly admit that when he put his mind to something, Potter could accomplish more than most magic folk. However, he had never believed that the boy possessed enough pure hatred in his heart to truly use the killing curse to its full effect, but the Potter that had emerged from his captivity had been changed, had come through the ordeal with enough hate in his heart to kill not only Voldemort, but ten or so of his most loyal Death Eaters.

Now though, almost six months after the fall of the biggest calamity to ever face the wizarding world, there was a problem. It seemed that during his tenure as a guest of the Death Eaters, Potter had been subjected to a blood magic ritual, which had apparently been part of some greater plan that had been interrupted with Draco's rescuing of the boy. The details of the exact ritual were hazy, but as far as Severus could tell, it had been intended to bind Potter to the Death Eaters, something that would have been made easier as Potter had been under 21 at the time.

Now, despite the fact that Voldemort was dead and most of the Death Eaters were either dead also or rounded up in Azkaban, there were a few still free, in exile, who had been attempting to exploit the bastardised link, to bind Potter to them. It was only by the grace of Merlin that Severus, as a former Death Eater, was not only still alive but was probably the only one who didn't wish to see Potter dead…on a good day.

The magic that had been involved in creating and maintaining the Dark Mark meant that all the Death Eaters were connected, and something as potent as blood magic lingered within that connection. As Dumbledore had explained to a rather horrified Severus, marrying Potter, through a legal and magical ceremony, would exploit the blood magic through Severus' own Dark Mark and render any other Death Eater's claim null and void.

So it was that in two days' time, Severus Snape, former Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, would marry Harry bloody Potter, everyone's darling saviour. It was the reason that he was walking through Knockturn Alley earlier than his usual appointed time, feeling royally pissed off about the task he had to complete.

He continued walking until he reached the end of the alleyway he was in, stopping in front of a blood-red door and knocking. It was answered by the usual angular-faced man who always answered it, who stepped aside to let Severus in, saying,

"Why, Professor Snape, we weren't expecting you today."

"No, I am not scheduled to be here, nevertheless, could I have a moment to speak with Julius?"

"You're in luck," the angular man said with a cat-like smile, "he's in between clients at the moment. Go straight up."

Severus inclined his head at the man and turned to his right to ascend the narrow, rickety stairs. He walked along the corridor, smirking slightly at the noises that came from behind the doors he passed, then stopped in front of door marked number 5. He knocked and was kept only a moment before the door creaked open and a tall, lithe man with dark blond hair stood looking at him with a smile.

"Severus, what a surprise. You're not due today are you?

"No Julius, I'm not. I needed to speak with you."

Fair eyebrows rose in slight surprise but Julius stepped aside nevertheless and let Severus into the familiar bedroom. From the rumpled sheets and faint lingering smell in the air, Severus guessed that he had only just missed Julius' last client.

"Drink?" Julius asked, throwing a dressing gown on and disobligingly covering up the view that Severus had been admiring.

"No thank you, I shan't keep you," Severus replied, taking a seat.

"Well," said Julius, throwing himself down on the chaise-longue with practiced effortlessness, "what's this all about?"

Severus crossed one leg over the other and brushed the imagined creases from his robes. "I'm afraid, Julius, I've come to tell you that our arrangement is over."

"You're joking," Julius replied, halting the hand that was about to place a cigarette between his lips.

"I'm afraid I'm not. I'm getting married."

Julius let out a heartfelt bark of laughter and let his hand continue its path to put the cigarette in his mouth. He lit it and took a long drag, letting a billow of smoke pass artfully from his lips before he looked at Severus with a teasing smile and said, "You  _are_ joking."

"No, I am not. In two days I shall be marrying Harry Potter."

Julius blinked at him for a moment, curls of smoke permeating around his head as he held his cigarette in stasis. "What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?"

"I can't say it any plainer."

"Well what on earth do you want to go and do a stupid thing like that for? I didn't even know you were seeing the boy."

It was Severus' turn to let out a bark of a laughter. "I'm not, nor ever have been. It's merely a formality, a request that has been made of me that I intend to fulfil."

"But why on earth should that stop you from coming to see me?" Julius asked, his lip forming a slight pout. "You do realise of course that over half of my clients are married, and somehow I can't see you being the faithful type."

Severus smirked. "No, indeed," he said, "but unfortunately this particular marriage contract comes with a fidelity clause. Neither of us can seek other sexual partners until the contract ends when the boy turns 21."

"And when exactly might that be?"

"A little under sixteen months," Severus said, rolling his eyes.

Julius scoffed and took another deep drag of his cigarette. "So what? You intend to take a vow of celibacy for the duration of your marriage?"

A slow smile crept over Severus' lips. "Oh no Julius, I wouldn't say that."

Fair eyebrows rose once again. "Oh? You intend to claim your conjugal rights on the boy then?"

"If he, or anyone else, thinks that I am going to go without sins of the flesh for sixteen months, they are sorely mistaken."

"And does the boy even swing that way?" asked Julius with an amused smile.

"Who knows? It hardly matters. Needs must and all that."

"Severus, you old dog. He is rather attractive I suppose, in a waifish sort of way. There's something of the Dickensian tragic orphan about him. He'd earn a hell of a living if he came to work here, you'd be amazed how many of our clients ask for just such a look."

"Well there's no accounting for taste."

"You don't find him attractive?"

"Not particularly. I can't say I've given it much thought."

Julius knocked the ask from his cigarette into a nearby ashtray and looked at Severus closely. "And do you think he'll keep you satisfied?" he asked, his voice low. "Do you think he'll know all the little tricks that can make you scream, do you think he'll let you use his body the way you use mine?"

Julius stubbed his cigarette out and rose from his chaise-longue, walking slowly over to Severus' chair. He stood for a moment before sinking to his knees and placing his hands on Severus' knees. "Do you think that mouth of his will make you beg, make you squirm the way mine does? Do you think the little Boy Wonder will have any idea how to please his new husband?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at the handsome man on his knees in front of him. "What do you say to giving me a wedding present?" he asked as Julius began to run his long, talented fingers up Severus' thighs.

"I think, Professor, that that could be arranged."

* * *

Severus arrived back home a little after midday, his mood worse than it had been when he had left that morning. Breaking his arrangement with Julius was perhaps the worst repercussion from his marriage to Potter. He had been visiting the man for several years now and to say that the man provided a scratch for an itch was something of an understatement. He was one of the most skilled sex workers Severus had ever had the pleasure of meeting. What Julius didn't know about pleasures of the flesh wasn't worth knowing.

And now, to make matters worse, after having to end the arrangement that had kept him satisfied for so long, he had to sit and wait for Potter to turn up to deposit his things and to put the final touches to the marriage contract. Of course Potter was going to live with him, they could hardly be married and maintain separate residences, and Severus himself had no intention whatsoever of setting up home in Grimmauld Place.

He had only been living in his present abode for a few months. It was the old Prince estate, if estate it could be so called. It had been left to a cousin who had passed away a year or so ago, and no one was more surprised than Severus to find that very cousin had bequeathed the estate to him. It was modest, as old family properties went, but Severus rather preferred it that way. There were six en-suite bedrooms, a large sitting room, study, dining room, library, a cellar that he used for his potions, and a very serviceable kitchen.

The house sat in roughly five acres of land. There was a landscaped garden immediately surrounding the property that made up a little over an acre, then beyond the land had been given up to pasture. In the garden were a couple of greenhouses that Severus was intending to put to use to grow several ingredients that he needed for his potions, and a rather sweet summerhouse that afforded a good view of the land beyond.

His cousin, it seemed, hadn't been too fastidious in matters of housekeeping or building maintenance, and although the place was sound, it needed attention, and since the end of the war Severus had made it his mission to restore it to its former glory. Time was on his hands after all. He had resigned his position at Hogwarts and had set himself up as a potion maker upon demand. His inheritance from the Prince estate, though greatly diminished from what it had been, gave him a greater monthly allowance than his teaching salary had, and, coupled with the income he made from his orders, he found himself rather comfortable.

He removed his outer robe and hung it in the porch, moving through to the sitting room. A quick glance at his watch told him that he had only a few minutes before Potter would be arriving. He moved over to his drinks cabinet and poured himself a finger of brandy. Brandy was acceptable at this time of the day, he told himself.

He took a deep breath and sipped at his drink, reminding himself to thank McGonagall for the tip on choosing that particular bottle, and went to stand at the French windows that looked out onto the gardens. It was early March and the trees were beginning to put out their blossom. Although the outside areas undoubtedly needed attention, they were still beautiful in their current state.

The doorbell sounded, and Severus sighed, chucking back the rest of his brandy in resignation. He straightened his robes and moved back out into the porch, steeling himself before he opened the door. He was surprised to find not only Potter, but Draco too, who stood a little behind Potter, smiling politely.

"Come in," Severus said gruffly, stepping aside to let them do so.

He closed the door behind them then gestured for them to go through to the sitting room, following after them. They sat side by side on the sofa, and Severus took a seat in the armchair opposite them, taking the opportunity to take a quick look at Potter. He was still pale and seemed to carry himself stiffly, sitting closely to Draco as though he thought the boy would offer him protection.

"I wanted to say," Potter said, surprising him. His voice was soft and quiet, as though he were afraid of speaking too loudly. "I am so very grateful to you for agreeing to this. I know that it's the last thing in the world you would want, but I really do appreciate what you're doing for me."

Severus laid one arm on the armrest of his chair and resisted the urge to tap his fingers. "There is no need to thank me, Mr Potter. It must be done, that is all there is to say on the subject."

Potter nodded, his jaw clenched, and returned his attention to the floor. He was thinner than Severus could remember him being, although the boy had never really gained the requisite amount of meat on his bones, and it seemed to Severus as though the boy was doing his best to make himself as small as possible.

"Harry has his things with him," Draco said, his voice efficient and practical. "Perhaps after the contract has been signed you could show him to his room and get him acquainted with the house?"

"Of course," Severus said. "Has anything been added to the contract since last week?"

Draco fished a shrunken folder from his robes and re-sized it with his wand, opening it up and withdrawing the marriage contract. "No, no it's all there as agreed. You and Harry will continue to have separate accounts at Gringotts, but, upon Harry's insistence," Draco said, glancing at the boy next to him, "your name has been added to Harry's and he has granted you access to the funds therein. I trust you won't abuse them."

Severus gave Draco a withering look, but it seemed to have no effect. The blond continued, "The contract will end upon Harry's 21st birthday in sixteen months' time, and until that time the two of you will be bound by a fidelity charm; should either of you engage in sexual relations with another party, the contract will be declared null and void and cannot be renewed."

Severus noted that a blush was creeping up Potter's neck. Wonderful, he thought with an internal sneer, he was being saddled with a virgin.

"Harry will live here for the entirety of the marriage and has arranged that a sum of money be transferred to your account monthly for his…keep," Draco said, obviously finding the matter distasteful, a fact that he hadn't kept hidden a week ago when they had first drawn up the contract and Potter had insisted, quietly but firmly, that he would pay his way. Severus had already decided exactly what that money would be used for; he wouldn't spend a penny of it, he would save it all up and when the ridiculous contract was dissolved, he would take it all and spend it on the most debauched, pleasurable fortnight his brain could devise with Julius.

"Whatever money is made by either party will be retained by the individual and isn't to be considered property of the marriage. Both parties are allowed to seek whatever form of employment they choose, providing it exists within the parameters of the law," he added, and Potter managed a small smile. "Harry will also be bringing Kreacher, the house elf currently occupying Grimmauld Place, with him in order to serve you both here. Upon dissolvement of the marriage, Harry will move back to his own property, and will have no claim upon the Prince estate, as you Severus will have no claim on the Potter or Black estates."

Draco looked up and Severus rather thought that the boy needed a small pair of spectacles he could pull down his nose to complete the look of an efficient legal clerk. "That's really all there is to it, the legal side of things is somewhat secondary to the magical bonding that will take place in order to override the blood magic the Death Eaters used."

"And when, Draco," Severus said smoothly, "did you become so adept at the law?"

Draco stuck his chin out defiantly, and Severus was reminded of the child he had once known. "This has been drawn up by a perfectly reputable legal firm. I'm only here to support Harry and to bear witness to the signing of the contract. However," the boy said, a fair amount of steel entering his voice, "Hermione and I both have intentions of attending law school in September. We'd like to be able to make some difference to this world that we fought so hard for."

"Miss Granger?" Severus asked. "I didn't realise the two of you were…"

This induced a snort from Potter and green eyes met his as the boy said with a faint smile, "Oh they're not sir. It's true though that Draco has formed something of an attachment to one third of the Golden Trio, but it's to neither me nor Hermione."

Severus turned his attention back to Draco, unable to hide his surprise. "Weasley?" he asked, receiving a smirk in response.

"I thought you knew we were living together."

"I had heard…something of that kind, but I hadn't realised…"

"Well there you go, you learn something new every day. Now, if I could get you to sign where I've marked, Harry's already signed his part."

Draco handed the contract and a muggle pen over to him and he gave the document a cursory glance before signing his name at the bottom of the first and second page.

"Good, now that that's done, perhaps you can give Harry a bit of tour and get his things settled?" Draco said, shrinking the documentation and putting it back in his pocket.

Severus couldn't say that he was particularly thrilled at the imperious tone Draco had adopted, nor could he say he fully understood the obviously protective stance the boy was using with regards to Potter, but he had had a trying enough day and was in no mood to argue.

"Very well," he said, rising from his seat. "Mr Potter, if you would be so good as to follow me."

Severus swept out of the living room and up the stairs, aware that Potter was behind him, and carried on along the landing until he came the last room on the left. He opened the door and indicated for Potter to step inside.

"This will be your room. There is a bathroom attached through that door there. I trust this will serve your purpose."

It was a nice room, Severus supposed. The furniture, thankfully, had been in fairly good nick throughout the house and he had only had to replace a few items so far. There were others that he was itching to throw out, merely because they offended his taste, but this room, to his mind at least, was rather pleasant.

He watched as Potter moved around the room and examined the pieces of furniture – a sturdy four-poster bed, an armoire, a writing desk and chair, a chest of drawers and a little fireplace with two armchairs placed in front of it.

The boy turned around to face him, a gentle smile on his lips. "This is lovely, really," he said softly. He moved over to window and looked out at the grounds, the smile still playing around his mouth. "How beautiful," he said quietly. He turned back around to face Severus and said, "You haven't been here long I understand?"

"A few months," Severus replied. "There are parts of the estate that need some attention."

Potter nodded. "Do you like it though? I mean, do you like living here?" he asked.

Severus shrugged. "It serves well enough."

There was a pause for a moment before Potter cleared his throat and said with obvious embarrassment, "This isn't your bedroom then I take it?"

Severus looked him as though expecting the punchline. "Of course not," he replied. "We won't be sharing sleeping quarters for Heaven's sake. Just because we'll be married doesn't mean that we need share a bed."

"Of course." Potter turned back to the window and took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking slightly as he did so. Severus wondered when the last time was the boy ate a full meal. He was sure he had never been so thin when he was at Hogwarts, and there was a frailty about him that had never existed before.

He seemed to shake himself and pulled himself away from the window, walking towards Severus and fishing for something in his robes as he did so. He extracted a small box and held it out to Severus, saying, "Just a…a thank you for what you're doing for me. If you don't like them then don't worry, but…well…here you go anyway."

Severus took the offered box and opened it to find a pair of silver and emerald cufflinks, both in the shape of small serpents. As he watched, the serpents twisted slightly, altering their coils and settling back in the box.

"If you don't like them you can just stick them in a drawer and let them gather dust but I wanted to…I wanted you have something as a token…"

They were not what Severus would have chosen for himself, but he could see that they wouldn't have come cheap. "Thank you, Mr Potter. I'm afraid I have no such gift for you."

Potter waved his hand dismissively and said, "I didn't expect it. After all, you're the one doing me the favour. If I hadn't have been so stupid as to let myself be captured in the first place, if they hadn't managed…" he trailed off and a deep frown settled between the ridge of his brows. The green eyes became unfocused and a tremble went through the thin body. "But it's too late for that now," he whispered. "It did happen, and I'm only grateful that you're here to save me…again."

He appeared to shake himself and after a deep breath he said in a firmer voice, "Would you show me the grounds? I'd like to get a better look at them."

* * *

There it was, his signature drying slowly on the bottom of the marriage certificate. It was official, he was now married to Harry Potter, and would be for the next sixteen months. Sometimes, he wondered if it was possible for his life to be more farcical.

Potter himself was standing with Weasley, Granger and Draco, doing his best to appear stoic and calm, although Severus had noted the shake of his hand when he had signed the certificate. Potter said something to Granger and she smiled, moving with him to the drinks table and swiping them both a glass of champagne, joining Dumbledore.

They were all at the Prince estate, as it was deemed as suitable a place as any to hold the ceremony, and the legal matters had all been dealt with. There was now just the matter of the magical binding that would be done in private when everyone had left and they could cement the bond with their wedding night.

 _Wedding night_ , Severus sneered to himself,  _what a joke_. He couldn't say that he was in any way attracted to the skinny whelp, but he supposed Julius had been right when he said there was a waif-like quality to him, which, he supposed, could be a tad appealing in the right light. Still, he was hardly holding out much hope for an earth-shattering night of passion with his new husband, indeed, he was determined it would be as clinical as possible.

He watched as Draco wound an arm around Weasley's waist and nuzzled his nose into the boy's neck. Well, it hadn't been a joke after all; there they were, large as life and engaging in sickening displays of affection. Weasley smiled and pulled Draco closer, his height enabling him to drop a kiss to the top of the blond head beneath his chin. Severus' eyes flickered back to the drinks table and he saw Potter standing there, watching the two boys with something of a wistful expression.

 _Interesting_ , thought Severus. He wondered which of the boys the longing look was aimed at and thought that the boy was rather wasting his time; even to his cynical, bitter perspective it was obvious that Draco and Weasley were besotted with one another.

Draco pressed a kiss to Weasley's lips and whispered something, then disentangled himself from the redhead's gangly arms and walked across the room to join him.

"Draco," Severus acknowledged him.

"Severus," the blond replied. "We'll be going soon, leave you and Harry to it. I just wanted…" Draco trailed off with a frown, turning his head to glance back at Harry. "You will…you will take care of him, won't you?" he asked, facing Severus again with a look so serious that Severus nearly laughed.

"He's a grown man, he can take care of himself."

"I didn't mean that," Draco said tersely. "He's not…he's not like he used to be, and you're hardly the nicest man on the planet. Just…just promise me that you'll treat him kindly."

Severus raised one dark eyebrow and said, "Since when did you become his fiercest protector?"

Draco's expression darkened and he straightened his shoulders. "Since I dragged him back to Hogwarts half dead," he ground out. "I don't expect you to understand, but I care about Harry and I can't leave him here without knowing that he'll be ok. I'm not asking you to be someone you're not and turn into Molly Weasley all of a sudden, but please, go gently with him."

"I have no intention of treating the boy any other way than I've always done."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Draco returned sharply. "Please Severus, he isn't that boy that sat in your Potions lessons and spoke back to you with barbed comments and sarcastic one-liners. He needs some kindness, he can't live in this house with you for the next sixteen months with you being a bastard to him."

"Draco I really don't care for your tone, nor for this unsolicited lecture. This marriage," he said, his lip curling on the word, "is intended to keep Potter out of harm's way until he reaches 21. All we need to do is exist relatively peacefully until that happens. As long as he keeps out of my way and I keep out of his, all will be fine."

"As you're married to him, would it kill you to call him Harry?" Draco shook his head and looked at Severus sadly, saying, "You know what? I tried. I really don't know why I bothered. I trust you have no objections to me visiting Harry while he's living here?"

"No," Severus said stiffly. "You will be welcome."

"And Ron and Hermione? He needs his friends, please don't shut them out."

Severus felt the muscle in his jaw twitch and he was awfully close to hexing the blond menace who felt he could talk him in such a way. "This will be the boy's home, of course they can come."

Draco nodded. "Good. Don't worry, I'm sure they'll make sure that you're out before they come. I'll be seeing you then. Just…think about what I said."

Draco turned on his heel and walked back to Weasley, then they both joined Potter and Granger at the drinks table. Weasley and Granger took turns in hugging the boy, all a bit dramatic for Severus' liking, then moved over the floo. Draco also hugged Potter then stood with hands on the boy's shoulders, saying something quiet and no doubt encouraging. Potter smiled and nodded then Draco leant forward to place a kiss to his forehead.

Severus cast a look to Weasley, who was still waiting at the fireplace, but he seemed not the slightest bit perturbed at the kiss. Indeed he was looking at Draco with no small measure of pride and affection, and as Draco joined him, the smile in his eyes intensified. All three of them disappeared through the floo, leaving him alone with Potter and Dumbledore, the notary who had overseen the legal matters having left as soon as the certificate had been signed.

"You're wearing the cufflinks," Potter said, as he came to stand beside him. He seemed pleased by the fact.

"Yes, they went rather well with the robes."

"You look very smart, those robes are lovely."

 _Good God, the boy was trying to compliment him_. "Thank you," he said, hoping Potter wasn't expecting a similar sentiment; he looked as though he had borrowed his robes from a man several sizes bigger than him, and his face was pale and rather haggard.

"Well my boys, if you're ready we can begin the magical binding," said Dumbledore, coming to join them.

If it was possible, Potter paled further, but he stood firm and nodded, as did Severus.

"Very well then, take each other's left hand," Dumbledore instructed, and Severus did so, feeling Potter's hand shake in his own. Dumbledore took out his wand and tapped their wrists, where the largest vein was visible and murmured softly, "Ligaveris Sanguinem Amet."

A thread of purple sprouted from the end of Dumbledore's wand and wrapped itself around their joined hands and Severus felt the pulse in his wrist throb uncomfortably. A tingling sensation travelled up his arm, followed by a feeling of intense heat then harsh coldness.

"Tempus Nexum," Dumbledore said firmly, followed by, "Sanguinem Nuptias," and the purple jet vanished with a flash. When he looked down at his hand there was a gold wedding band on his ring finger, its twin sitting on Potter's.

The boy looked at it in wonder, then, for some unknown reason, smiled. He looked up at Severus and said quietly, "I didn't think we'd be having wedding rings. It's…sort of nice."

Severus raised an eyebrow but said nothing, thinking privately that the boy was an idiot.

"Well," said Dumbledore, smiling benignly at them both, "I should leave you both in peace."

 _Oh yes,_  thought Severus,  _do leave us to enjoy our much-anticipated wedding night unhindered_.

"Thank you for everything you've done, sir," Potter said quietly, extending his hand, which Severus noticed was shaking once again, to Dumbledore.

"No need for thanks, Harry, you know that," Dumbledore replied, taking the offered hand and giving it a firm shake. "Severus my boy," the man said, turning his attention to him, "I hope to see you soon. I would love it if you would accept my offer to come for tea at Hogwarts one of these days."

"I shall Albus, when I next find myself free."  _Which you can bet won't be any time soon_ , he mentally added.

The old coot twinkled at him and, not for the first time, Severus found himself glad that he was no longer indebted to the infuriating man. He headed over to the floo and grabbed a pinch of powder before smiling back at them both then disappearing into the flames.

Well, that was it, he was finally alone with Potter. The room seemed to echo all of sudden in a way that he hadn't noticed before. Potter moved across to the French windows and stood holding his glass of untouched champagne, looking out onto the gardens. There was something passive about his features, something that was foreign to Severus. He was used to the boy looking impudent or defiant, even amused sometimes he supposed, but this rather blank facial expression that betrayed nothing of what might lie below was unknown to Severus.

"Such a beautiful spot," Potter said quietly, and Severus didn't know if he was being addressed or not. "It's so peaceful here, as though the rest of the world doesn't exist. You must love it here," he said, turning back around to face Severus.

"It serves a purpose," Severus said, surprised when the boy's face fell slightly.

"You don't like it here?" he asked.

"As I said, it serves a purpose."

"I can help with doing it up," Potter said, his face brightening slightly. "I'm surprisingly good at DIY, and I love working in gardens."

"Perhaps," Severus said noncommittally, not entirely sure he wanted Potter involved in the restoration of his home. "Anyway Mr Potter, we should see to it that the bond is finalised."

Potter's already pale face lost the rest of its colour and Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Dear Merlin, he was hardly looking forward to it himself, but sex was sex at the end of the day, there was no need to be quite so prissy about it.

"I shall come to your room in an hour and we can get on it with it."

Potter said nothing, merely nodded and lowered his eyes to the floor.  _Merlin save me from blushing ingenues_ , Severus thought as he swept out of the room, intending to immerse himself in a hot bath with a glass of 20-year-old whisky before he had to succumb to his fate.

He did just that, indulging in the wonderfully large bathtub that his own bathroom boasted, and one glass of excellent whisky ended up being three. By the time he made it out of the tub and across the hall to Potter's room, he was comfortably fuzzy-brained and feeling more amused about the task at hand than he would have imagined his previous annoyance would have allowed.

He knocked swiftly, then entered the room to find Potter sitting at the window seat, the room only illuminated by the soft glow of a couple of candles. Severus held back a snort at that, hardly believing that the boy was hoping for this to be a romantic endeavour. Potter stood, his hands twisting in front of him, then moved a little closer to him.

"Potter, before we…I must ask – are you a virgin?"

Something strange flitted across Potter's face and he blinked rapidly before looking down and giving a quick shake of his head. "I…no…I'm not a virgin," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "This…this won't be my first time."

Well that was something of a surprise. From the blushes and lowered eyes, Severus would have put good money on Potter being an untouched little innocent.

"Good," he said brusquely. "That makes things easier."

Potter nodded then moved the rest of the way across the room to stand in front of him. For someone who had done this before, the boy was a bag of nerves. Severus could see that he was shaking slightly but there was a resolved set to his jaw and he could see a little of the old Potter resilience poking through.

"Shall we…shall we kiss?" Potter asked quietly.

Severus raised an eyebrow and said, "I hardly think that necessary. Get into bed and get your clothes off."

Potter flinched slightly but nodded and moved to the bed, tugging his robes off over his head and moving to undo his buttons, halting after the first couple and turning to Severus, who was removing his cufflinks and placing them on the writing desk.

"I…I'm a little…I mean…could we do this in the dark? It's not you," he added quickly, "I'm just a little…aware of myself."

 _Good God_ , Severus groaned internally,  _how wet could the boy be?_  "Fine," he said tersely. "Undress and get into bed, I promise I won't look," he added, not quite able to disguise his sneer.

He turned to continue his own undressing, hearing the boy scuffle around behind him, eventually hearing the slight creak of the bedsprings as Potter climbed in. Severus made it down to his underwear then blew out the candles, grateful that it was a bright enough night to enable him to move over to the bed with a little guiding light to aid him. He snaked out of his pants and kicked them slightly to the side before climbing into the bed next to the trembling form beside him.

"Turn on your side," he instructed, not caring to do this face to face with the boy. He reached for his wand, damned if he was going to prepare Potter manually; he barely condescended to do so with Julius, a man who guaranteed him untold pleasure, he wasn't going to bother himself over the shaking boy who was so inexperienced that Severus suddenly felt very sorry for himself and the next sixteen months of such encounters.

"I'm going to use a spell to prepare you," he said dispassionately, immediately after murmuring the spell and hearing Potter's breath hitch as he did so. He pointed his wand at his own palm and muttered the spell again, his hand suddenly coated in slippery lubricant. He slicked it over himself, bringing himself to hardness, as Merlin knew the situation itself hadn't.

When he was sufficiently prepared, and his own erection was coated liberally, he scooted over in the bed until his chest was pressed against Potter's back. He reached down and lifted the boy's leg up and out of the way, reaching his hand until he found its destination. He guided his erection towards the boy's entrance and without a warning, began to thrust inside. He immediately felt Potter's body tense and he said with a growl, "Merlin's teeth Potter, if you do that then I'll never get inside you and we'll be here all bloody night."

"Sorry," Potter said, his voice breathy and shaky. "I…I am trying…I promise."

Severus rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Potter's shoulder to brace himself then tried to push forward again. There was less resistance this time but Potter's body was as taut as a piano string and Severus wondered if perhaps the boy had been lying when he said he wasn't a virgin in a case of misplaced bravado. Severus found he didn't really care. He'd make sure he was careful, he was no monster, but if the boy wanted to lie to him then that was his problem.

He thrust forward a little more and slowly sheathed himself inside the boy's body. There was something to be said for nerves, Severus thought as found himself fully embedded; the body around his now fully-hard erection was deliciously tight, and as he began to move in and out in slow, precise thrusts he thought that perhaps he might be able to put up with it, for a little while at least.

He moved a little faster, pulling out further each time and fully pushing in all the way to the hilt, feeling his pleasure grow each time. Potter's breathing was still ragged and the shoulder beneath his hand trembled with each thrust. He continued thrusting, feeling himself creep closer toward the edge as he did so, knowing he was probably being a little too forceful but wanting only to find his release. He came hard and with a shudder through his body, digging his fingers into Potter's shoulder.

He allowed his breathing to even out as he came back to himself and slowly slipped from the boy's body, muttering a quick  _Scourgify_  as he do so. He thought he had better see to his new husband and so snaked a hand over the boy's hip only to find that the boy wasn't even hard.

"It's fine," came the muffled voice, followed by a noise that sounded suspiciously like the boy trying to subdue a sob.

"Did I hurt you?" Severus asked.

"No, no it's fine. I just…it's nothing…honestly."

"Very well," Severus said, rolling away and out of the bed, retrieving his pants and sliding back into them. He moved over to the writing desk and picked up the rest of his clothing, moving to the door and turning back to face the bed as he stood with his hand on the door handle. He could see Potter still lying on his side, illuminated slightly by the sliver of moonlight coming in through the window, his knees brought up to his chest.

"As this ridiculous arrangement means I shall be able to seek no other gratification for the next sixteen months, I trust you have no objection to my repeating that encounter when I might feel the need?"

There was silence for a moment, followed by a harsh intake of breath, then a quiet voice, saying, "Of course. It's the least I can do, given the circumstances."

"Good. I'll bid you goodnight then," Severus said, then turned and let himself out. Sixteen months of the most basic sex of his life with the most uninspiring bed partner, how was he going to cope?

* * *

Potter was already up when he made it down for breakfast. He was sitting at the table in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea, staring down into the delicate china cup, dark circles under his eyes and an unhealthy pallor to his skin. Nevertheless, he looked up when Severus entered and offered him a smile, saying,

"Good morning. I didn't know whether or not to ask Kreacher to make you any breakfast, I thought you'd prefer to do so."

"You're not eating?" Severus asked as he took a seat opposite Potter.

Potter shrugged. "I don't really eat breakfast," he said, resuming his earlier action of staring at his tea.

 _You don't eat much of anything by the look of you_ , Severus thought. He turned to the wizened old house elf who was awaiting instruction from him and said, "Two eggs, poached, on brown bread."

Kreacher nodded and set about his task and Potter looked back up at him, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I was going to order that for you. I can remember you having it all the time for breakfast back at school. I didn't want to assume though, we don't always keep old habits do we?"

The question hadn't really seemed aimed at him, so Severus decided not to answer it. He turned his attention instead to the stack of newspapers next to his elbow and picked up the first from the pile, his eyes rolling of their own accord when he saw that the front-page news was his marriage to Potter. He looked across to the boy, who shrugged and said,

"I told them. Seemed best to pre-empt any nonsense stories that might abound. Seamus (you remember Seamus?) works for the Prophet now, so I took him for a pint a couple of days ago and gave him the scoop. I…made out like we'd been together for a while and just wanted to make it official, just a quiet, private affair. I'm sure the real story wouldn't be so palatable…nor so prudent as to publish in that rag."

Well, that was an unexpected bit of finesse from the boy. It was a sensible course of action and of course would send a message once and for all to any existing Death Eaters who might have been tempted to try and exploit the blood magic bond.

"Sound logic," Severus said, casting the paper aside and exchanging it in favour of the local muggle one that was delivered every morning.

Potter nodded and sipped at his tea, pulling a face when he realised it had gone cold. He put it to one side and settled instead for staring down at the table, his hands in his lap, still apart from a slight tremor that kept rippling through him.

Severus' eggs were placed in front of him, and after pouring himself a cup of coffee from the freshly-brewed cafetiere in front of him, he set about eating his breakfast, which he had to admit, was very well done. He glanced up every now and again between mouthfuls to see Potter flexing the fingers of his left hand, frowning down at it as it shook when he straightened his fingers out.

"What's the matter with your hand?" Severus asked, and Potter looked up quickly, as though surprised at being spoken to.

"Oh…nothing," he said softly. "It's just…there's some residual nerve damage from…before."

"Are you having treatment for it?"

Potter shook his head. "I have no desire to spend any more time in the hospital than is strictly necessary. Besides, they've told me there's little they can do." He looked down at the shaking hand that was resting on the table. "It hardly matters," he said softly, "it's just a tremor."

Severus was about to comment that he thought the boy foolish for not seeking proper treatment, and that he should damn well get over whatever stupid fear of hospitals he might harbour, when Potter got to his feet and said,

"I thought I might get to know my way around a bit better today, spend some time in the garden and the surrounding area, I hope that's ok with you?"

"Of course. I shall be spending the day brewing," said Severus, gratified to know that Potter would not require him to provide an endless source of entertainment for him.

"Anything interesting?" Potter asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.

"Not to you I'm sure," Severus replied, and the boy's cheeks coloured slightly.

"No, no I'm sure you're right. No talent for Potions, as you're well aware. Well, I hope you have a good day anyway, I'll see you later," said Potter, stopping by his chair and leaning down to brush a kiss against Severus' cheek.

Severus resisted the urge to curse the damned boy and instead settled for turning to face him with his most withering look, saying, "Just because we're married doesn't mean that we have to lower ourselves to such ridiculous displays of sentimentality."

Potter's eyes went back to the floor and he nodded, saying quietly, "Of course, I'm sorry."

He left the room without looking back and Severus shook his head. Really, he was married to the most insipid creature.

* * *

Severus had expected that Potter would be a noisy, inconsiderate, oafish housemate. As it was, the boy was so quiet and cautious, he sometimes had to check that he was still in the house. He moved about the place like a wraith, and there had been several times that Severus had nearly jumped out of his skin when he'd turned around to find that Potter had silently entered the room he was in.

He seemed to spend a great deal of his time outdoors, either in the garden or walking the many footpaths that were dotted around the Somerset countryside the estate nestled in. He left the house every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, though Severus didn't trouble himself to find out where his husband was going; he didn't really care so long as he wasn't bothered about it.

They spent mealtimes together, though often by accident rather than design. Kreacher cooked for them both, and both seemed to naturally gravitate towards the kitchen at the same time, although why Potter bothered, Severus had no idea. He picked at his food and had never yet finished an entire meal, despite the fact that Kreacher was in fact a surprisingly adept cook.

Severus had finished just such a meal, alone this time as his brewing had taken longer than usual, when he decided to spend the rest of the evening in the library, ensconced in whatever book took his fancy. He liked the library. It was a decent-sized room, well stocked with all manner of reading material, cosy and warm. There was a fire at one end of the room, in front of which was placed a somewhat narrow, but nevertheless very comfortable, sofa.

It was in this sofa that Severus found Potter curled up when he entered the room. He felt a tinge of annoyance; he had wanted the room to himself, not to share it with his irritating former student. The boy looked up as the door opened and offered him a gentle smile, saying,

"Do you mind me sitting here? It's just such a cosy place to curl up and read and the weather's so horrible out there tonight."

"No, I don't mind," Severus said, rather magnanimously he thought. He moved over to the furthest line of shelving and perused the spines of the books, deciding upon a familiar theoretical text on the combustive properties in certain potions.

He moved to sit on the sofa next to Potter and crossed his legs at the ankles, propping the book open in his lap. It was a cosy room, there was no denying that, and the heavy patter of rain against the windows made for a pleasant backdrop. Again, he was surprised at how quiet his companion was; there was no sound from him save for the turning of the pages of his book and the occasional rustle of clothing as he shifted his position.

Eventually, Severus decided to sneak a glance across at the boy, just to see if he could see the tell-tale twitches the boy used to exhibit in his class when he was doing his best to behave like a rational human being. He was surprised to find that instead of looking as though he might explode from the effort of controlling his irritating behaviour, Potter was simply gazing into the fire, his head tilted downwards slightly, his dull eyes unfocused.

The hand in his lap was twitching and there was a slight tremor running through his whole body as he sat there, although whether the boy was aware of it or not, Severus couldn't tell. He seemed to be in another world, his mind somewhere else far beyond the pleasant room and the cheerful fire that he seemed to be fixated on.

It was strange to see this version of Potter, so different from the person who had sat in Severus' classroom only a couple of years ago. That boy had laughed and shouted, sulked, argued, teased and badgered; this boy was a pale imitation. This boy had pale skin and dark circles under his eyes, this boy said everything so softly that sometimes it was just above whisper. He moved like a ghost and smiled when he thought he should, smiling even at Severus, which he was sure the other version of Potter would never have done.

The fire crackled loudly and Potter jumped, coming suddenly back to himself. He blinked a couple of times and glanced back at the forgotten book in his lap, shaking his head and frowning. He closed it and stared at the cover for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up, just in time for Severus to dip his head and evade being caught staring.

"I don't want to interrupt you," Potter began, and Severus prayed to Merlin that the boy didn't want to have a heart to heart about whatever had preoccupied him, "but I just wondered if perhaps you could spare some of the books from here?"

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, bemused by the odd question.

"I was looking through them earlier and a lot of them are children's books. I was wondering if perhaps you might be persuaded to part with them?"

"And what, pray tell, would you want with children's books? I had thought your reading was slightly more advanced."

Potter smiled slightly and said, "They're for the centre." At Severus' obvious look of puzzlement he continued, "The centre that Draco and I have founded, I thought you knew about it?"

Severus thought that perhaps Draco had mentioned something a few months ago, but if he remembered rightly, it had been when he was on his way to meet Julius and hadn't really been paying much attention.

"We set it up back in January, for the war orphans," Potter continued, looking down at the wedding band on his finger and twisting it slightly. Severus himself hadn't worn his since the wedding day, having stuffed it away in a drawer in his bedside table. "Draco inherited the Malfoy estate after…well after Lucius…"

Potter trailed off. No one really spoke of the fact that Lucius had died at his own son's hands, a fact that had been instrumental in Draco managing to save Potter and get him safely back to Hogwarts.

"Anyway, he decided to use the majority of the money to set up the centre, it's left him virtually penniless," Potter said softly. "He kept a little to put towards the little place he and Ron have in Hogsmeade, but what they have now is theirs. I put the rest of the money up and we opened a couple of months ago, it's where I go every week," he said raising his eyes to meet Severus'.

"I see," said Severus, surprised to learn that this was where Potter disappeared to. Of all the things he had imagined the boy to be doing, taking care of orphaned children wasn't one of them. "And where is this centre?"

"Kent, a little outside of Canterbury. It's going well so far, we have trained social workers who live on site and Draco's solicitor has put us in touch with someone who specialises in charity fundraising, so hopefully we'll have some decent funds coming in soon too. God knows the kids need all the help they can get, some of them are so…so broken.

"There's one girl, she's eight…her mother's in a magically-induced coma at St Mungo's. Lydia she's called, and she's just the most intelligent, intense little girl you've ever met. She's got this barrier up around her, like she thinks that if she lets anyone in then it'll be admitting that there's no hope for her mother…which from what I've heard, there isn't. It's so sad. I keep trying to get through to her but she just…doesn't want to be reached."

Potter shifted his gaze back to the fire, his face soft despite the frown upon it. "I can understand it, it's not easy to open up when the world feels as though it's fallen apart all around you. You want to be able to reach out, to ask someone to make it all better for you but the thought of doing that and them looking at you like…like you're pathetic to ask…like you should be able to cope with it yourself…that thought just stops you dead."

Potter closed his eyes for a moment and he seemed to appear far older than his 19 years. He looked more worn and fatigued than anyone not yet out of their teens had any right to and Severus wondered, not for the first time, if the boy got any sleep at all. The eyes opened again and Potter shook his head slightly, looking suddenly annoyed.

"Rambling again," he said, his voice taking on an edge. "I should leave you in peace, you've been brewing all day, the last thing you want is to listen to me going on."

Potter stood from the sofa, surprising Severus with the sudden change of pace. "Take whatever books you want," he said, "I'm sure they'd be of better use in the centre than gathering dust here."

"Thank you," said Potter, smiling the first genuine smile that Severus had seen. The boy leant down and brushed his lips against Severus' cheek and Severus pulled back, saying,

"I thought we'd established that that sort of nonsense wasn't going to be happening."

Potter straightened himself up and wrapped his arms around torso, nodding as he said, "Sorry, just being stupid. Force of habit. Well, goodnight then."

* * *

Severus stepped out of the French doors, coffee in hand, and took a deep breath of fresh air. He had spent all morning brewing several deeply involving potions and he was grateful to take a break. He moved to the little iron table and took a seat, stretching his long legs out in front of him and surveying the gardens.

It was a beautiful day, spring almost ready to cede to summer as May drew to an end. The gardens were beginning to take shape now, thanks in no small part to Potter's insistence on spending nearly every free moment in them. It seemed that he actually knew what he was doing when it came to horticulture and from what Severus had seen, it was the only time when he didn't wear that constant look of preoccupation on his face.

Severus sipped at his coffee and let the scents of the newly flowering magnolia tree waft over him. His eyes were tired from the dullness of the cellar and his mind was a little fuzzy from the heady fumes he had been bent over all morning. He really should have taken a few more breaks along the way but every step had been important and Severus hated to break his stride once he was in it.

A movement to his left caught his attention and he turned to see Potter making his way towards the table. He was dressed in jeans in an old t-shirt, both of which were dirty, and his forehead was sweaty, his black hair sticking to it in clumps. He rubbed at it with his forearm, possibly the only part of him that was clean, making it stick up in awkward angles.

"Hi," he said, coming to stop at the table, chucking down the basket of dead-heads and weeds he had been carrying.

"Hello," Severus replied. "Busy?"

Potter nodded and wiped his hands on the front of his jeans, brushing the rest of the mud from them and taking a seat opposite Severus. "I was working on the bit round the west side of the house, the rosebeds needed weeding and I took a little of the bulk from the Virginia Creeper. It'll look beautiful in the autumn when the colours turn."

"Where did you learn all this?" Severus asked, genuinely interested.

"I did all the garden work at my aunt and uncle's…well I did all the work full stop to be honest, but I actually always enjoyed being in the garden, there's something sort of…therapeutic about it."

"What do you mean you did all the work?" Severus asked, frowning.

Potter shrugged and leant back in his chair, saying, "My aunt and uncle weren't exactly keen on having me around but they made sure to put me to good use. It's understandable; they were saddled with me, I guess they had to have some compensation for it."

 _What an odd thing to say_ , Severus thought. He had known that Potter hadn't had the rosiest of times with his so-called family, but to think that they had put him to work like a common house-elf was a strange thought indeed.

"Busy morning?" Potter asked, changing the subject abruptly.

"Rather," Severus replied, used by now to Potter swiftly altering the topic of conversation when it was bothering him. "The orders are increasing in frequency and complexity. I'm considering hiring an assistant."

"The business is really taking off, you must be proud."

Severus inclined his head slightly. "It's successful enough."

Potter chuckled slightly and said, "Never one to overstate the case are you?"

Severus raised an eyebrow but said nothing and Potter turned his face up to the sun, closing his eyes and taking a couple of long, deep breaths.

"Another couple of weeks and you'll be able to smell the honeysuckle," he said softly. "It's such a beautiful place," he said, opening his eyes. "The world just melts away as soon as you step into the boundary. It's the most…it's the most at peace I've felt in a long time," he said, looking across at Severus hesitantly, as though he expected the man to mock him for his declaration.

Severus said nothing, merely nodded slightly. He knew what Potter meant; it was a tranquil spot and the house itself had something about it that seemed to soothe the fractious and restless spirits that so often haunted him.

Potter took a deep breath and flexed his left hand a couple of times, the shaking still apparent, then said, "On Saturday night we're holding our first fundraiser for the centre, that friend of Draco's solicitor is turning out to be a real godsend. I…I was wondering if you'd come with me, I'd like you to be there."

Severus placed his coffee on the table and leant forward slightly. "I must decline, I have several potions to attend to that evening that require intensive brewing." He had no such plans but he was damned if he was going to be dragged along to some godawful charity function to be paraded around as Harry Potter's doting husband, supporting his spouse in his philanthropic endeavours.

"Oh…of course," Potter said, looking genuinely disappointed. "Your time is too valuable to fritter it away on parties I suppose," he said, looking back to the gardens. "Shame…I'd have liked you to have met Lydia. She still won't say much but she spends a lot of time playing at potions. She makes little mixtures…harmless stuff of course but I think one day she may have a talent for it. I thought perhaps you could have spoken to her."

Potter shook his head and looked down at his trembling hand. "It was a daft thought, never mind. I…think I'll go and have a go at the Rhododendron bush, it's looking a little worse for wear."

Potter stood, picking up his basket again, and disappearing off around the other side of the house. Severus shook his head. Spend his evening conversing with morons and surly children? He rather thought not.

When Saturday evening rolled around, Potter stood in the large hallway, adjusting his tie in the mirror and trying, to no avail, to brush his hair into submission. Severus watched him as he leant on the kitchen doorway, a glass of wine in hand.

"I shouldn't bother if I were you," he said, making Potter jump. "I've never seen it look anything but a bird's nest."

Potter turned to him and instead of throwing a rude one-liner back at him, or pulling a face as Severus had been expecting, the boy merely turned back to face himself in the mirror and nodded at his own reflection. "You're right.  _Ugly_ ," came the barely-discernible whisper as the boy's head dipped down.

"I only meant – " Severus began, perturbed that Potter, it seemed, couldn't take a joke, but the boy shook his head and said softly,

"I know what you meant. I'm well aware of how I look. No wonder you didn't want to come tonight, I wouldn't blame anyone not wanting to be seen on my arm. Who in their right mind would?"

"Potter – " Severus growled and the boy looked up sharply, his eyes horribly red-rimmed.

"Don't," he said dully. "Plenty of people besides you have gone to great pains to make sure I know how…undesirable I am. Believe me when I say that I don't need you to reiterate it."

He moved to the porch and grabbed his cloak, keeping his back to Severus as he wrapped it around his shoulders. "I hope your brewing goes well tonight," he said quietly before he apparated from sight.

Severus stared at the spot where Potter had stood, frowning into the emptiness. Who was this boy that had taken Harry Potter's form? Where was the sarcasm, the impudence, the boldness? Who was this person who spoke in whispers and shied away from the slightest confrontation? It made no sense to Severus and he was getting a little frustrated by this strange incarnation of the person he had thought he had known.

Taking a very large gulp of wine, he resolved to spend no more time thinking about the infuriating person that was his husband. He had better things to do with his time.

* * *

The next morning as he sat alone at breakfast, he pulled the Prophet from the stack of papers on the table and saw Potter's picture on the front page. The boy was sitting alone at a large dining table, empty glasses and plates strewn around him, his tie slightly loosened and his elbows forward, resting on his knees.

The headline read 'Potter attends first function without new husband' and Severus rolled his eyes as the piece went on to describe how Potter had thrown the party in an attempt to generate funds for his new socially-minded endeavour, and was having to do so without the aid of his new husband.

Severus scanned the article and found a quote from Potter that read, "My husband would have dearly loved to have been here with me tonight, but you must understand that his time is very valuable, and he is currently in the process of brewing potions that take immeasurable talent and skill. If he could have spared the time to be with me, he would have done."

The rest of the article very heavily implied that the so-called reporter didn't believe a word of it, and made out as though Harry was the most neglected spouse in the history of the world. Severus sneered, but his attention was drawn back to the photograph and he couldn't help but feel a slight pang of guilt as he took in the small, lonely figure sitting staring down at the floor.

He hadn't been in the best frame of mind when he had left of course; Severus' offhand comment had sent him into some black mood that, despite his best intentions, Severus hadn't been able to forget all night. He looked at the image of his husband, and imagined that that left hand would be trembling in his lap as he sat there, watching other people milling around, making merry and hopefully spending money.

Perhaps, and it was only a perhaps, he might be persuaded to attend the next function that Potter and Draco threw for their little crusade, if only to stop such another forlorn and tragic photo from being published.

He didn't see the boy for the whole day, but he assumed he was rambling around in the garden or off out on one of his many long walks in the surrounding countryside. Severus wasn't sure exactly how good those walks were for him; he was too thin as it was and although it was good for him to be out in the fresh air, getting some colour into those pale cheeks, he didn't exactly need the 6 mile walks he seemed to constantly embark upon.

It was only much later when he sat down at the kitchen table at around 8 o'clock to help himself to a cup of coffee that he finally saw his young husband. He wandered into the kitchen with a quiet 'hello' and moved to the range, setting the kettle atop it and lighting it with his wand. He fished out a mug from the cupboard and rifled through the tea caddies until he found the blend he wanted and placed a teabag in the mug, filling it with boiling water from the whistling kettle.

"How did it go last night?" Severus asked as Potter stood leaning with his back against the sink.

"It was good," Potter replied. "A lot of people came and although I haven't had a chance to chat with our accountant, I think we probably managed to raise a fair amount. It was a good evening, I had fun."

 _Your picture said otherwise_ , Severus thought, but he settled for saying, "Well that's something then."

"And your potions?" Potter asked, and something in the arch of his brow told Severus that the boy was well aware that there had been no potions.

"All went well," Severus said smoothly.

Potter nodded, a resigned, sad sort of nod, then pushed himself up from the sink and headed towards the door.

"Potter," Severus said before the boy could leave, "I…shall be…coming to your room later. I trust that will be ok?"

The boy's lips went white as his mouth tightened, and he seemed to draw in on himself, curling one arm protectively around his stomach. "Of course. I'll…see you later then," he said, turning sharply and walking out of the room, Severus hearing the release of a shuddering breath as he went.

It was gone 11 by the time he let himself into Potter's room. The room was in darkness but he could see Potter curled on his side in the bed, ready and waiting for him. He said nothing as he divested himself of his clothing as he crossed the room to stand next to the bed. He slipped out of his trousers and kicked them to the side, pausing for a moment before he shifted out of his pants. This was hardly the relief he would have chosen for himself; he wanted to be back in Julius' room, letting the man work his wonders on his flesh, his clever hands and wicked mouth teasing him to completion, but beggars couldn't be choosers and he needed a release.

He slid into the bed and prepared Potter with the spell again, hearing the familiar hitch of the boy's breath in the darkness. He lubricated himself and brought himself to hardness, which wasn't difficult as he had been half-hard when he had entered the room. He moved Potter's leg and positioned himself at the boy's entrance, feeling the same resistance as last time when he tried to push into him.

"Sorry," Potter said, his voice harsh and broken. "I'm not very good at this."

 _You're telling me_ , Severus thought with a sigh. "Just relax," he said tersely, and Potter nodded as Severus tried to push into him again. This time was more successful and Severus slid slowly inside until he was fully sheathed. He gave the boy time to adjust then started moving, in and out in long, slow thrusts, bringing an arm around to hold Potter tightly against his body. Potter was tense and every muscle was pulled taut, his head turned into the pillow underneath it, his breathing uneven and juddering.

 _For Merlin's sake, it isn't that bloody bad_ , Severus thought with irritation, increasing the pace of his thrusts. Potter wouldn't be so bad if he had a little meat on his bones he supposed as he moved hard inside the boy. He was quite wiry and there was some strength to him but he needed to take better care of himself, as it was he was in danger of wasting away. Severus thrust again and again into the tight body, finally coming as he bit down on his lip to stop any noise from escaping him. He was not one for ridiculous noises in the bedroom, unless of course Julius was mercilessly tearing them from him.

He withdrew carefully from Potter and cast a quick cleaning charm, rolling away and over to the edge of the bed. He found his pants and pulled them on, standing to retrieve his trousers and slip into them. He hadn't bothered reaching around to see to Potter's erection, he was well aware that there wasn't one there in the first place.

"Are you ok?" he said gruffly as he grabbed his shirt.

"Yes," came the soft reply. "I…goodnight."

Knowing a dismissal when he heard one, he headed for the door, rolling his eyes and saying, "Goodnight Potter, thank you for the breath-taking encounter."

He retreated to his room and went straight to the en-suite, heading for the shower, letting the hot spray pound his skin as he stood there for a good ten minutes. He didn't understand the ridiculous boy. Things could surely be better than that, couldn't they? The boy had told him that he wasn't a virgin, so surely he had experience beyond lying on his side and just taking it?

Severus yanked off the water and grabbed his towel, drying himself quickly and casting a drying spell on his hair. He moved into his room and pulled a clean pair of pants from the dresser and collapsed into bed. He lay there for a good long while, staring up at the canopy of the luxurious four-poster, wondering if he could truly cope until the boy turned 21. There was a little under a year left to go now, and of course, Severus had no choice but to cope with it, but sometimes he couldn't believe his own rotten luck.

He fell asleep eventually, and ended up in as deep a sleep as he could remember, which was why it was such a shock to be wrenched from it so suddenly. At first he didn't know why he was awake and he lay there, frowning into the darkness until he heard the scream. It was raw and harsh, it sounded like an animal in pain and Severus listened until he realised that the next one came from the room across the hall, from Potter.

He jumped out of bed and grabbed his dressing gown from the hook on the door, throwing it around himself as he pulled open the door and crossed the landing over to Potter's door. He knocked and called the boy's name but the screaming came again, so he let himself in only to find Potter thrashing around in the bed, simultaneously screaming and crying.

"Potter!" he shouted, but the thrashing didn't abate. He strode over to the bed and placed his hands on Potter's shoulders, giving the boy a firm shake.

"No!" Potter cried. "Please, please no more! I can't…please don't make me, I can't take any more!" he screamed, lurching upwards and into Severus' arms.

He was trembling, harsh, ragged sobs racking his whole body as he grabbed hold Severus' dressing gown. Severus was stunned for a moment, but eventually he shifted so he could better wrap his arms around the boy, holding him firmly in place as Potter shook with pure, unrestrained fear, the sobs continuing to come.

"Ssh," Severus said as he held the boy close to his chest. "It was a dream, you need to calm down."

"It wasn't a dream, it was real…it was real," came the tiny voice, harsh with emotion.

"You're safe now, you're home, you're in your own bed, nothing's happening to you."

The body in his arms stiffened and the hand gripping his dressing gown slowly let go. "Oh my God," came the horrified whisper and Severus felt Potter struggle to get out of his arms. "Oh my God I'm so sorry."

Potter finally disentangled himself from Severus and practically flew across the bed, whispering  _lumos_  as he did so. The candles in the room sprang to life and Potter stood against the wall near the window, his eyes wild and his breathing coming in sharp, frantic bursts.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, looking at Severus in horror.

"Potter what on earth – "

"I didn't mean to…God I…what must you think of me? I must have forgotten to put the silencing charms up. I…I'm such an idiot…I – "

Severus stood up and moved towards Potter, disturbed by the tears streaking the boy's face and the sheer terror he could see etched into every line. He raised his hand to place it on Potter's shoulder and was appalled to see that the boy flinched at the movement, as though he was expecting to be struck.

"Potter, I would never – "

"I know," Potter whispered as the tears rolled slowly down his cheeks. "I know you wouldn't…" he trailed off, wrapping his arms around himself as a look of such sorrow settled in his features that something deeply unpleasant twisted in the pit of Severus' stomach. "I'm sorry I woke you," the boy murmured, "it won't happen again, I promise."

"It doesn't matter," Severus said with a frown.

"Please, please go back to bed. I'll make sure the silencing charms are up this time."

"Potter I can't leave you like this."

"I'm fine," the boy said, hastily wiping his tears away, a sudden look of resolve in his eyes. "It was just…I'm fine…really. You won't be troubled again."

"Again? Potter how often does this happen?"

Potter shook his head and lowered his gaze to the floor. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, why didn't you – "

"Severus please," Potter whispered, and Severus was struck by the use of his name, the first time Potter had ever used it. "Please just go, I won't bother you any more."

"You're not…" Severus began, but trailed off at the desperate look in the boy's eyes. "Fine, fine I'll go," he said with a resigned nod. He headed for the door and paused with his hand on the handle, turning his body around slightly to cast his eyes back at the wretched figure still huddled against the wall.

He was unfamiliar with the feeling clawing at his chest and part of him felt that to do anything but stay and offer some kind of comfort to the miserable creature that resembled nothing of the boy he had once known would have been nothing short of abject cruelty. It was not in his nature, though, to offer solace to anyone, least of all to someone with whom there was already so much distance, and although it felt wrong, he left, trying his best to ignore the heart-wrenching sob he heard as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

He found Potter out in the summerhouse the next morning, an untouched cup of tea on the table beside him, staring out into the distance with tired, unfocused eyes. The boy wouldn't look at him but instead continued to stare ahead, his hand trembling in his lap, the rest of him shivering despite the warmth of the late May morning.

Severus took a seat across from him at the table and crossed one long leg over the other, unable to look away from the figure that he knew was undeniably hurting. "That was not the first time this has happened," he said. It wasn't a question and he got no response. He sighed and said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

The harsh laugh that followed was a surprise to Severus and Potter finally turned to face him, his eyes full of tears that he wouldn't let fall as he said, "And what would have been the point in that?"

Severus opened his mouth to respond but found that he didn't have an answer.

"There's nothing you can do," Potter continued, his voice raw, "there's nothing anyone can do."

"It may have escaped your notice, but I am a Potions Master. At the very least I could have made you a high-quality batch of Dreamless Sleep."

Potter shook his head and looked away, sniffing slightly and swiping at his eyes in irritation. "You have better things to do than to make me potions. I know how busy you are."

"But – "

"Besides," said Potter, getting to his feet and grabbing his untouched cup of tea, "I thought if I asked you that you'd say no."

He was gone before Severus had a chance to protest. Was that really what the boy thought of him? Was he such a monster in Potter's eyes that he really thought that Severus would deny him a simple potion if he had asked for it?

Well, he intended to prove the ridiculous little whelp wrong. He spent the rest of the day holed up in the cellar working on a variation of Dreamless Sleep that would not only guarantee that Potter would not be plagued by whatever nightmares that troubled him, but that would also enable the boy to fall asleep in the first place. It was a more involving process that the standard Dreamless Sleep, and he decided to make a few batches of it so that he could present the boy with enough to last for a good few months.

He wasn't entirely sure of his motives if he was honest. Was he doing it to prove the boy wrong, to prove that he wasn't as difficult as Potter had made him out to be? Or was it something else? He couldn't forget how Potter had clung to him last night, how wild and frightened his eyes had been when he had run from the bed and pressed himself against the wall. More than anything though, he couldn't forget the heart-rending sob that he had heard as he had left the boy's room. It had been ringing in his ears ever since and he wished, with all his might, that he had never heard it in the first place.

He looked for Potter when he finally finished later that evening and found him in the library, curled up and fast asleep. Severus sighed, reluctant to wake him up now that he had obviously managed to find a moment's respite. He retrieved a book from the nearest shelf, not really paying attention to what it was, and took a seat on the sofa next to the sleeping boy.

He hadn't been reading what turned out to be a book on Tudor wizarding customs for very long when Potter shifted in his sleep, and suddenly Severus felt the boy's weight come to rest against his shoulder. His first instinct was to shake him off, to send him back to his side of the sofa and out of his personal space, but Potter was so tired, so worn, that to wake him when he had finally found some rest seemed like the height of cruelty.

Severus settled instead for shifting slightly so that he could sit more comfortably with Potter's head resting on his shoulder. He became so immersed in the book, which turned into a much more interesting read than he was expecting, that he didn't really notice as the next hour slipped by, with Potter cuddled into his side, occasionally emitting a soft little sigh as he nestled in deeper.

It was only the chiming of the clock on the mantlepiece that finally roused his sleeping companion, and he felt the weight shift from his shoulder, followed by a softly murmured, "Oh…oh God I'm sorry."

Potter got up from the sofa so quickly that Severus wasn't sure how he hadn't fallen over in his haste. "Potter it's ok," Severus said, looking up at the boy, who was standing there as though he was expecting some form of reprimand.

"No, no it's not," Potter said, shaking his head. "I know you don't want me doing things like that," the boy said, wrapping his arms around himself. "Just because we're married doesn't mean…" he waved his hand dismissively, his wedding band glinting as he did so. "It won't happen again, I promise."

He headed for the door but Severus wasn't to be dismissed so easily this time. He stood and followed, saying, "Potter would you stand still for just one minute?"

The boy did as he was told and stood hunched by the door, as though waiting to bolt at any minute. Severus reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the vials of Dreamless Sleep he had made, handing it over to Potter.

"Take it half an hour before you go to bed. It will help you to fall asleep and…should give you a peaceful night."

Potter took the vial, frowning at it as he held it in his hand. "You made this?" he asked quietly.

"I've made enough to last you for the foreseeable. It should help."

"I…thank you…" Potter said, continuing to frown down at the bottle.

There was silence for a moment and Severus felt the odd clawing in his chest again. He needed to do something more, something to chase away that noise of the boy sobbing alone in his room. "I…" the noise came out in an undignified croak and he cleared his throat. "I could take a look at the tremor in your hand," he said, surprising himself.

Potter look up, his face guarded, as though he were waiting for Severus to finish the joke. "What do you mean?" he asked eventually.

"There are…there are some potions that have been formulated specifically for nerve damage. I wouldn't trust the healers at St Mungo's to know their arnica from their echinacea when it comes to the latest in experimental healing potions, it's little wonder they wouldn't have tried anything."

"You…you would do that?" Potter asked softly.

"Of course I would."

Potter looked at him for a moment, then slowly reached out his hand as though to touch him, but apparently thought better of it, retracting it again and holding it against his chest, the familiar tremble ever-present. "Thank you," he said, his voice slightly shaky, before he turned and finally fled, leaving Severus alone in the room, wondering what the hell was wrong with them both.

* * *

"Tea? Aren't you feeling very well?" asked Potter as he took a seat opposite Severus at the kitchen table.

"Mm? What do you mean?" asked Severus, looking up at him.

The boy nodded towards the teacup in front of him and said, "You only drink tea when you're under the weather."

Severus frowned and looked up at his husband, saying, "Do I?"

Potter smiled and cradled his own cup to his chest. "You never normally defect from your coffee unless you're feeling rough. What's the matter?"

"Nothing, a slight headache. I've been spending the morning bent over some rather noxious fumes."

"Oh, is there anything I can get you? Is that tea chamomile? I often find that helps."

"No, no I'm fine, but thank you."

"Ok, well I'm off to the centre. I'll be back around 5. I hope you feel better, try not to spend the whole afternoon bent over a cauldron eh?"

Potter rose from the table and placed his own teacup in the sink, knowing that Kreacher would see to it after he was gone. He made his way to the door, stopping next to Severus, and was about to bend down and offer a kiss to the man's cheek but pulled himself back before he could do so.

"Sorry, must stop doing that," he said softly. "I'll…I'll see you later."

And with that, the boy left, taking his smiling and gentle presence with him. Severus couldn't help but think as he sat there looking down into his tea, that perhaps, just perhaps, a kiss wouldn't have that objectionable.

Despite making a conscious decision to stay away from the potions lab for the rest of the afternoon, Severus' headache got progressively worse until he found himself sitting on the bottom step of the large staircase, his head in his hands, willing himself to make the suddenly insurmountable journey up to his room.

It was where Potter found him when he returned home from the centre, cutting himself off mid-sentence as he was saying,

"I'm home. Ugh I had the most ridiculous day. You know sometimes when you…Severus? What's wrong?"

He felt Potter kneel beside him and a hand came to rest on his back, rubbing back and forth in soothing circles.

"I think my head's going to explode," Severus groaned, digging his fingers into his skull.

"Oh it sounds like a migraine. Come on, let's get you to bed, you shouldn't be sitting here like this. Can you stand?"

"Not easily," Severus murmured, then felt himself hauled up into a surprisingly strong pair of arms. Perhaps all that work in the garden was paying off. His arm was slung around Potter's shoulders and Potter braced a hand on Severus' chest, saying softly,

"Just one stair at a time, we'll do this slowly. I would levitate you but there's something a little undignified about it don't you think? Sort of impersonal too I suppose. There we go, that's it, one foot in front of the other."

"I didn't know there was another way to walk," Severus groused, the pain in his head stopping him from putting his usual rancour into the sentence.

Potter chuckled softly and said, "Fair point. You can rest more of your weight on me, I promise I won't send us both tumbling down the stairs."

Severus was sceptical but did as he was instructed nevertheless, he didn't have the strength to walk unaided and he was grateful for Potter's support. They made it to Severus' room and Potter settled Severus down on the bed before moving over to the window and drawing the curtains, shutting out the evening's summer sunshine.

"Be back in a sec," Potter murmured, and Severus squeezed his eyes shut, willing the unbearable pain in his head to go away. It felt as though someone had drilled a hole in the side of his skull and was systematically pouring acid into it. He was willing to offer up his soul in service to the next Dark Lord if they could promise to take this insufferable pain away from him.

He felt the bed dip as Potter sat next to him, and a cold flannel was placed over his forehead whilst a hand came to rest at the nape of his neck. He was about to ask what Potter was doing when the boy said,

"Ssh, it's ok. I'm just going to try and ease the muscles slightly."

Potter moved his fingers, gently pressing into the horrible tense knots there and murmuring, "Relevabor."

It didn't rid him of the hideous migraine, but it did relieve some of the pain slightly, and it although it felt alien to have someone be so innocently attentive to him, he couldn't say that it wasn't nice.

"Here, it's some of the Dreamless Sleep you made," said Potter, pressing a vial to his lips and holding the back of his head gently to tilt it so he could drink. Severus sipped carefully, tasting his own work and Potter said, "Sleep will be the best thing for you now. It just needs to work its way out of your system."

Gentle fingers were combing through his hair and Severus couldn't remember a time when anyone had taken such care of him, even when he had been a child. Suddenly, Severus felt strangely grateful for this quiet and temperate presence in his life.

"I'll leave you to sleep," Potter whispered, and Severus felt the bed bounce back as the boy stood. He cracked his eyes open as much as he could bear and tentatively reached for Potter's hand. Even through his haze of pain he could see the surprise as it registered on the boy's face.

"Thank you Harry," he murmured, and he was gifted with a sweet, gentle smile, one that seemed to undo that horrible clawing feeling he had had in chest for weeks.

* * *

"That will teach me to start brewing migraine relief potions," Severus said over his cup of coffee the next morning. Thankfully he had woken with a wonderfully clear head and there seemed to be no trace of the migraine that his torn his brain apart the previous day.

"And you've never had one before?" Harry asked, pouring himself a cup of tea from the teapot and shaking his head as Kreacher tried to offer him a plate of toast.

"I've experienced many variations of pain throughout my life, but never that. I hope to Merlin that I never do again."

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but when you have one that's often the start of a cluster of them."

Severus paused his coffee on its way to his lips and looked at Harry with one of his patented expressions, saying, "Thank you for that."

Harry chuckled softly and said, "Sorry, I'm all out of pep talks for today."

They sat in oddly companionable silence for a few moments, Severus starting on the poached eggs that had been placed in front of him while Harry continued to sip at his tea. Severus had woken feeling unusually kindly disposed towards his husband, and he couldn't deny that the care and attention Harry had shown him yesterday had been surprisingly welcome.

As it was, Harry wasn't wrong in his prediction that Severus was about to enter a cluster of migraines, and he had one every week for the next month and a half. Potions didn't touch them, nor did the muggle painkillers that Harry had purchased for him in a pharmacy in an attempt to help with the next attack. There was no recourse but to take to his bed and shut out any hint of light, taking the sleeping aid he had brewed until he drifted into unconsciousness and praying that when he next woke, his head would be clear.

Each time he suffered an attack, Harry was there, helping him stumble back to his bedroom, laying a cold flannel over his forehead and easing the horrible pain in his neck either with his deft fingers or with the whispered spell that relaxed his muscles. He would murmur soft words that Severus never really heard properly but it didn't matter, all he wanted to listen to were the soft tones that ghosted over the edge of his brain, soothing him and his fractious energy.

Severus couldn't remember anyone ever treating him that way. Not once in his entire childhood, not even when he had had pneumonia when he was eight, could he cast his mind back and remember gentle hands and sweet words of kindness or reassurance. It was wholly unfamiliar to him, but as the weeks went on, Severus began to think that but for Harry's ministrations, he would have gone crazy after the second migraine attack.

"Maybe we could just put you in a magical coma for the next couple of months," Harry said as he tugged at a particularly stubborn weed. The garden was looking rather spectacular in the late summer sunshine, thanks entirely to Harry's endeavours.

"Oh very droll," Severus said, rolling his eyes and reaching for a sandwich from the tray that Kreacher had brought out. Technically, Severus was meant to be helping, but he found that sitting at the little table and chairs and offering helpful advice every now and again was much more beneficial.

"Well, anything would be better than these weekly attacks. Your poor brain, it must be like Dresden in there."

Severus stifled a laugh at the rather witty response. He would not laugh at something the whelp had said, no matter how amusing it might have been. His resolve had been tested several times over the last few weeks; despite the fact that the boy still kept very much to himself and often seemed to be in another world, he could be surprisingly funny when he wanted to be.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Severus asked, reaching for another sandwich from the platter.

"Not hungry," Harry replied, finally winning against the weed and tearing it from the earth, chucking it down into the awaiting basket triumphantly.

 _You never are_ , Severus thought irritably. The boy was still too thin, despite the wiry muscles he was building from all his time spent in the garden. He rarely ate a full meal, and instead would just pick at bits of food throughout the day.

"Perhaps you should leave that for now, it's nearly 9 o'clock and you've been out here since four."

"There are things to do," Harry replied with a shrug. "Oh I fixed the kitchen sink by the way."

" _You_?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes me," Harry said with a laugh. "I told you I could do DIY, and plumbing happens to be one of my areas of expertise. Bet you never realised you'd married such a catch."

"Indeed," Severus said with an inelegant snort. "Come on, that will do for tonight, let's call it a day and go back inside."

Harry sighed and wiped his hands on his jeans and nodded in defeat. "Alright, fair shout. I am pretty tired. A cup of tea and a couple of chapters of my book sound pretty good."

 _Careful Harry, don't want to walk too far on the wild side_ , Severus thought with an internal eye roll. The boy rose to his feet and dusted himself off, stretching his arms above his head and easing his head from side to side. Severus couldn't help but watch the somewhat graceful movements and thought to himself that perhaps tonight was time for another conjugal visit with his husband.

He followed Harry into the house, suddenly very interested in the moving form in front of him. It had been a couple of weeks since his last encounter with the boy and he was feeling a little twitchy. The last time had been as uninspiring as all the others but he had taken a little more time with Harry, having felt a little more generous than usual after the kindness Harry had shown him in taking care of him.

He leant on the kitchen doorway, arms folded, as he watched Harry get a drink of water and glug it down thirstily. The boy ran a hand through his messy hair and suddenly Severus thought that perhaps waiting until bedtime was unnecessary.

Harry turned to face him and tilted his head questioningly. "Something wrong?" he asked, realising that Severus' eyes had been on him.

Severus moved into the room and came to stand in front of Harry at the sink. "No, nothing wrong," he said smoothly, taking in the features of the boy's face. He would never be as striking as Julius, nor would he ever exude anything like the raw sexual magnetism that his former paramour had done, but Severus supposed, in the right light, there was something mildly appealing about his young husband.

"I wondered how you might feel about an early night," he said, moving closer still.

"An early night? I…oh…" Potter said softly, realisation dawning on his face.

"Perhaps," said Severus, reaching out and trailing one long finger down Harry's chest until it reached the waistband of the boy's trousers, "we could do something a little different tonight."

He reached his hand down to cup Harry through his trousers and the boy backed himself up against the sink as far as he could go. Severus saw the immediate look of horror in the boy's face and he growled in frustration. Dear Merlin, what was wrong with him?

"But then, perhaps not," Severus said, stepping back with a sneer. "How could I be so foolish as to think that the most reticent, sexually repressed man in the world would want to do anything other than to just lie there and take it?"

Harry flinched as though he had been struck but Severus wasn't finished. "I mean really Potter, it was bad enough that I had to be shackled to you for over a year, but to be sentenced to the most dull, pathetic sex of my life really was the icing on the cake. All I can say is that your first time must have really been some number to have caused you to be the most bland, uninspiring partner that I have ever had the misfortune of sharing a bed with."

He regretted the words the instant he said them but nothing could prepare him for the feeling of utter wretchedness that grabbed him as he saw the abject devastation in his husband's face. Green eyes swam with unshed tears, and the cheeks that had had such a healthy colour to them only moments ago were now ashen. His breathing was ragged, as though he were having trouble catching his breath and Severus could see that the boy's hand was shaking more than ever.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, the effort of holding back his tears making his voice harsh and uneven. His eyes went to the floor and he shrank in on himself, curling his arms around his torso in an effort to protect himself. "I should be…I should be better…more…instead of this…this…I'm sorry," he said, his whole body shaking now and Severus wished he could just stuff the words back into this mouth, make it so he had never said them.

"Harry…" he began but the boy shook his head furiously, refusing to look up.

"Everything you say about me is right," he said in the most forlorn voice that Severus had ever heard, and it went right to his chest, stabbing him like a knife. "I'm sorry I can't be more for you."

He pushed past Severus and all but ran out of the room, leaving Severus to stand in the dimly lit kitchen, cursing his own hateful nature.

* * *

There was to be no sleep for him that night. He lay alone in his silent room looking up at the canopy of his bed and wishing that he had never opened his mouth. He knew what he had said had been cruel, and he was left with a deep and unpleasant sense of regret.

He was a bitter, twisted man, he knew that. After all the kindness that Harry had shown him, the many, many times the boy had brushed the hair from his forehead and whispered words of comfort when he had been suffering, this was how he repaid him?

Eventually he had grown sick of the sound of his own thoughts and had shut himself up in his potions lab from 3 o'clock in the morning onwards, not intending to leave it unless strictly necessary. He managed eight straight hours before he had to surface, seeking a much-needed cup of coffee to kickstart his brain after the hideous night he had had.

He made it to the top of the cellar stairs, stopping in his tracks when he heard voices coming from the sitting room. The first he recognised as Harry's and as he listened, he realised that it was Weasley to whom his husband was speaking.

 _Oh wonderful_ , Severus thought,  _he'll be in there, moaning about how bloody awful his life is here, and what a terrible, awful husband I am_.

His own curiosity getting the better of him, Severus cast a silencing and disillusionment charm over himself and inched nearer to the door. The voices became clearer, and he was surprised to hear not the whining complaints he had been expecting, but Harry's voice saying in its usual gentle tones,

"Well why didn't you go for the blue plates if you liked them?"

Weasley snorted and replied, "What, and have Drake spend the next month in a hissy fit with me? Who knew plates would be so important?"

"Can't you compromise and go for something in between?"

"Oh yes," Weasley scoffed, "we'll end up with plates the colour of snot. How charming."

Harry laughed softly and Severus could hear the clinking of china as tea was poured. "Oh these little domestic quarrels, they'll be the death of you."

"No, Draco will be the death of me, that I promise you." There was a pause, followed by Weasley asking, "How are you anyway, you look tired."

"Oh…I didn't get much sleep last night," came the soft response and something sharp twisted in Severus' chest.

"Are you still having pain?" Weasley asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Yes," Harry replied, his voice tired. "Some days are better than others, but I know that some things just won't heal, no matter how much I wish they would."

"Harry," Weasley said quietly and Severus inclined his head slightly so he could see the two men sitting side by side on the sofa, Harry looking horribly pale and more unwell than Severus had seen him look in months. "Tell me what's wrong," Weasley implored gently.

"It's nothing Ron, really. I'm just tired."

"I can see that, you look exhausted."

Harry laughed mirthlessly and said, "You know, you'd think people would get sick of saying that."

"Are things not going well here? The last time I saw you you seemed a little brighter about things, a little more positive."

"Things are fine," Harry said, and Severus knew that it wouldn't take the boy's best friend to see past that thin lie. "I mean, as fine as they can be given the circumstances."

"Ok say that one more time and try not to turn green this time. What's happened, Harry?"

Severus watched as Harry twisted his hands in his lap and looked down at them miserably, chewing on his bottom lip and frowning. "I'm making him miserable," Harry said softly and Severus could barely believe his own ears. "I'm not enough for him, how could I be?"

"Harry, what are you talking about?" Weasley asked, obviously confused.

Harry paused and took a couple of deep breaths, then looked up at his friend, his eyes pained and hollow. "He wants to…he wants me to be able to be a proper husband…in  _every_  way," Harry whispered. "And I just can't," he said, breathing out the last word in earnest.

"Oh Harry," Weasley said, closing his hand over Harry's. "Of course you can't. After what happened to you…I'm surprised you managed to get through your wedding night in one piece. Are you…saying that you've slept with him since?" Weasley asked, and Severus felt mildly offended by the horrified tone of the boy's voice.

Harry nodded and said, "He…he has every right to. I'm stopping him from…from being able to do that with anyone else, he…he's perfectly justified to…"

"To what? Demand access to your body?" Weasley asked, his face flushing. "Harry," Weasley said, grabbing Harry gently by the shoulders, "they raped you."

Severus felt as though someone had pulled the world out from underneath him. Blood rushed and pulsed loudly in his ears and his palms prickled horribly as unnatural heat flooded his body. He barely heard the next words from Weasley's mouth but he forced himself to listen as the boy said,

"What happened to you was horrific…what those bastards did to you…it was…it was evil. You can't expect to just be able to bounce back from it and be able to view sex normally again. Harry love, they took your virginity, they brutalised you."

Severus couldn't take anymore; he turned and emptied the contents of his stomach into a nearby plant pot, grateful he had had the presence of mind to cast the silencing charm. Oh God, he was truly a monster. He sat slumped against the wall, his heart pounding as he heard his husband break down in soft, quiet sobs.

"I wasn't foolish enough to expect love from my marriage, Ron," came the broken voice. "I knew he could never feel that way about me, but…but I'd hoped he might be able to show me some…tenderness…some affection. There are days when I feel so starved for anything kind or gentle that I feel as though I might break. I hate feeling this way, I hate being this weak."

"Listen to me," came Weasley's voice, firm and unyielding, "you are the strongest person I have ever met in my life. Do you think many people could go through what you did and come out of it able to not only carry on, but to go on to defeat the most evil wizard the world has ever seen? Harry, you have more strength inside you than you will ever know."

Severus couldn't listen to anymore. He got up shakily from the floor and headed back down to his potions lab as silently as he could, his head pounding and his heart thumping. How could he not have known?  _Because you didn't bloody care enough to find out_ , came a damning voice in his head. Harry had gone through that awful, terrible experience, had been brutalised and hurt in the worst way possible and Severus had insisted that Harry give him access to his body…to use him…

If he had had anything left in his stomach, he would have been heaving it up at that point. He felt sick and dizzy and in that moment, he truly hated himself.

He needed answers though, and he wasn't about to go and ask Harry to relive the worst moments of his life. He tried to collect himself, but, still shaking and deeply tormented, he apparated from his cellar room and arrived on the edge of Hogsmeade. He made his way past the crowds of people, ignoring everyone in his path, until he was standing outside the little cottage that Draco and Weasley owned.

He banged on the door, not ceasing until it was finally flung open and Draco stood there looking at him exasperatedly, saying,

"What? Why the bloody hell are you trying to kick my door in?" Severus brushed past him into the hallway and Draco closed the door, turning to face him and saying, "Severus what the hell is the matter?"

Severus tried to collect his thoughts, tried to formulate a coherent sentence but he was so rattled that he could do nothing other than blurt out, "How could no one have told me what happened to Harry?"

Something unreadable shifted across Draco's face and a hard look came into the grey eyes. "It was no one's business but Harry's."

"I'm his husband!" Severus protested, eliciting a harsh bark of laughter from Draco.

"And what a husband you are! You don't care about him, you don't care what happened to him!"

"Of course I care! If I'd have known that that had happened to him I'd have never…" Severus trailed off and Draco eyed him suspiciously.

"You'd have never what?" the blond asked, his voice dangerously low.

"I didn't know Draco. I never would have…I never would have carried on sleeping with him if he'd have told me."

"You…made him sleep with you?" Draco asked, something akin to horror in his features. He stared at Severus in disgust for a moment before turning slowly around, his back to Severus, his shoulders stiff. It took Severus completely by surprise when his former student whirled around and landed a punch directly to his jaw.

He sprawled back against the wall, shock and pain blossoming through him, clutching the side of his face as Draco stood in front of him radiating pure anger.

"How could you?" he hissed. "I asked you, I begged you, to be kind to him, to be gentle with him but you couldn't manage that could you? I should have known that there wasn't enough humanity in you to be able to show another human being a little compassion, a little tenderness.

"Do you have any idea what he went through? When I found him he barely resembled a person, let alone Harry Potter. They had brutalised him in every way possible, he'd taken days of relentless, vicious abuse and he was so broken that I really thought he was going to die. Do you know their favourite thing do to? Do you? Well I'll tell you – they liked to cast the Cruciatus on him while they raped him.

"Can you imagine anything so cruel? So evil? To have survived what they did to him is nothing short of miraculous, and what's more, he came through it to be one of the kindest, gentlest people I have ever have the good fortune of meeting. He never thinks of himself, he works himself into the ground trying to make the centre a success, trying to give those children a good and happy life.

"And what does he come home to? A bitter, twisted, nasty little man who has never given anyone besides himself a second thought. A man who thinks of him as nothing more than a fucktoy and uses him for his own sick gratification."

Severus wanted to argue, to defend himself, but there was nothing he could say. Everything Draco said was true, there was no way to refute the charges levelled at him. He knew had could do nothing but stand there and take it.

"I'd hoped that maybe, after you'd been married a little while, that you would start to see what an amazing person he is, that you would come to care for him. I thought that maybe he could soften your edges a little, turn you into something that vaguely resembled a human being. But I should have known – there is no force on this earth that could stop you from being the most self-involved, disaffected bastard that ever lived."

Draco shook his head and Severus felt his jaw start to throb. Who knew a refined Pureblood could land such a right hook?

"Just get out Severus. Ron will be back in a bit and I doubt he'd want to see you here."

Severus paused for a moment, his mind still reeling, before he nodded resignedly and apparated from the spot. He went back to the estate but didn't go back inside the house, he wasn't ready to face Harry just yet.

He decided to go for a walk, taking one of the many footpaths that were dotted around nearby. He needed to try and clear his head, to try and figure out what the hell he was going to say to Harry. What could he say? There was nothing that wouldn't sound inadequate or trite, there was nothing that could undo the hurt he had caused, the harm he had done to a person who done nothing to deserve his coldness, his spite.

Draco was right; Harry was the kindest, gentlest person Severus had ever known, and all Severus had shown him was contempt. He had been rough and dismissive…and the way he had treated him in bed…it made his blood run cold to think about it. After what Harry had experienced at those monsters' hands…all for Severus to come along months later and force him to…God…he was just as bad as Harry's abusers.

He walked for a good couple of hours, but he could find no way to justify his behaviour, nor to ease the hideous tumult of feeling that refused to abate. He made his way back to the house, quietly letting himself in and standing in the hallway for a few moments, trying to see if he could hear any proof that Harry was home.

A noise came from the sitting room and Severus made his way slowly over, stopping in the doorway to surreptitiously watch Harry as he moved around the room, dusting and cleaning. His movements were slow and Severus could tell he was in pain, how had he never noticed before? How hadn't he bothered to find out how his husband's health was after his horrific experience?

Draco had been right about everything apart from one thing; he  _did_ care about Harry. He hadn't realised it before, hadn't given it much thought at all really, but he did. He wanted to stop the boy from hurting, wanted to make things better for him, but he had no idea how.

"Harry," he said softly, stepping into the room, making the boy jump and turn around to look at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh…no you didn't," Harry said, shaking his head. "I just didn't hear you come in."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, and Severus recognised the gesture now, realised that Harry was still feeling wretched and vulnerable from their horrible altercation the night before.

"Harry I owe you an apology," Severus said, wishing that Harry would stop staring at the floor and look at him so that he could see the sincerity in his face.

"No you don't," the boy said quietly. "Everything you said was true," he said, looking up with a sad smile. "No need to apologise for the truth."

Severus moved further into the room and walked slowly over to Harry. He didn't know how he was supposed to fix this, how he was supposed to put right all the wrongs that he had been responsible for.

"Harry, I – "

"Severus really, there's no need. I promise, next time you come to my room, I'll…try harder," Harry said with an air of stoic resolve.

Severus felt as though he couldn't breathe. His skin prickled and he felt sick again. After all Harry had been through, all he had suffered, here he was, promising Severus that he would offer himself willingly the next time Severus felt the urge.

"Harry, there won't be…I mean…things are going to change."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, frowning.

Severus paused. He didn't really know what he meant but he needed to make the boy see that life wasn't going to continue the way it had done.

"I just…I mean…"

"Severus do you think that maybe we could continue this conversation later? I'm due at the centre and I don't want to be late."

Severus sighed and nodded. This wasn't going the way he had hoped it would. Suddenly, inspiration struck. "Harry do you think…could I…could I take you to dinner tonight?"

The look of surprise on Harry's face was almost comical but Severus could find no humour in the situation.

"I…why would you want to?" Harry asked guardedly, and Severus found himself saddened that that was the first question to spring to Harry's mind.

"I want to spend some time with you," Severus said softly, praying to Merlin that Harry would take him at his word. "I'd like for us to…spend some time getting to know one another a little better. The pub in the village does surprisingly good food. We could take a stroll down there this evening, after you're done at the centre."

Harry looked at him for a moment, searching his face for any trace that he was being made fun of, that Severus was going to laugh at him if he accepted. All Severus could do was stand there and let himself be scrutinised, hoping that Harry could see his sincerity.

"Alright then," Harry said eventually, his expression still guarded, "that sounds good." He looked up at the clock on the mantlepiece and said, "I'd better go, but I'll see you later." He moved closer and Severus recognised the tell-tale sign that the boy was about to kiss his cheek and this time, he wasn't about to push him away. It turned out he didn't need to, Harry stopped himself before his lips could meet Severus' cheek and lowered his eyes to the floor. "Sorry," he whispered, "must stop doing that."

He brushed past Severus out into the entrance hall and it suddenly hit Severus. Every single time Harry had gone to kiss him or touch his shoulder, every casual brush of his fingers or the gentle way Harry would touch him when he was suffering a migraine, all these things were the very signs that Severus should have seen that showed just how starved Harry was for affection, how much he needed a little tenderness.

He didn't know if he could ever repair the damage he had done, but he knew how he could start to try. He followed Harry out into the hall and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, turning him back around to face him. He met Harry's eyes openly then gently placed his hand on Harry's cheek. He felt suddenly nervous, exposed, but he pushed it aside as he lowered his head and captured Harry's lips in a slow, sweet kiss.

He felt Harry tense slightly but he was determined to do this, to show his husband the tenderness he was so desperate for. He kept one hand on the boy's cheek while the other came to rest in the small of Harry's back, holding him gently. He kissed Harry softly, moving his lips in a light caress over Harry's. Never in his life had he had a kiss this sweet, never before had he felt the lips beneath his own move so tentatively, or felt the slightest quiver of muscle beneath his hand as he held the body in his arms close to him.

The thing he noticed most of all was that Harry was kissing him back. It might have been cautious and a little hesitant, and Severus thought that if he had experienced this kiss at the start of their marriage he would have reacted to it with little more than a sneer. Now though, he thought that he could lose himself in the heady feeling.

He broke away slowly, not wanting to overwhelm either himself or Harry. His hand still on Harry's cheek, he looked down into the shining eyes of his husband and something in him shifted. Harry was looking at him with a such an open and vulnerable expression, stunned at having been kissed and no doubt surprised at how caring Severus had been with him.

"You'll be late," Severus said, brushing his fingers over Harry's cheekbone.

"I will," Harry murmured. He shook himself slightly, trying to pull himself out of the strange daze that had settled over them both. "I'll see you later," he said and Severus reluctantly stepped back, allowing Harry some space to apparate.

The boy looked at him and then slowly allowed a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth. Severus felt its twin form on his own mouth and before he could embarrass himself with a full-blown smile, Harry disappeared from sight.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus begins to take steps to understand how best to help Harry, whilst coming to terms with his own feelings about his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 2 of 4. I hope you enjoy it, please leave me a comment and let me know.

An Honourable Man Part 2

It was ridiculous, he was going to the local pub for a spot of dinner, it didn't require this level of thought. He was nervous. He was taking his own husband out to dinner and he was nervous. Harry would be back any minute and they were going to take a little walk down to the village and share a meal together. It wasn't a big deal, but after that kiss earlier in the day, things felt different.

He fished the cufflinks out that Harry had bought him and popped them in place, then, in a moment of inspiration, moved to his bedside table and opened the drawer, moving a few things aside until he found his wedding ring. He examined the gold band and gave it a quick polish on his shirt, slipping it on his ring finger. It looked right, he thought with a smile.

He was drawn from his musings by a loud knock at the front door, followed by Draco's voice drifting up from the entrance hall, yelling his name. He made his way quickly down the stairs and found Draco searching for him in the downstairs rooms.

"Draco, what's wrong?" Severus asked, thinking that after their altercation that morning he wouldn't be seeing Draco again for some time.

"It's Harry," Draco said, obviously worried.

"What's happened to him?" Severus asked, a feeling of dread settling over him.

"He's been hit by a curse."

"What? When?"

"A few minutes ago. He was leaving the centre, he'd just got past our safety wards when he was hit. We don't know what with yet but he's in St Mungo's."

"Well we'd better get there," said Severus and within seconds he and Draco had apparated to the hospital reception. After checking with the staff, they were directed to the correct room and they made their way up to the 3rd floor, searching for Harry.

"Here, room 6," said Draco.

Severus let him lead and he followed the blond into the room, holding back a little when he heard Harry speaking to Weasley.

"Ron I can't stay here, please. I can't be here, I hate hospitals."

"Harry love I know, but you heard what the Healer said, this curse will take a long time to recover from, they need to keep you here."

"But they're talking about weeks, Ron! I can't be here that long, you know I can't, it'll kill me. It'll bring back all those memories and I just can't cope with that…I can't…"

Severus held back a little bit, allowing Draco to move into the room properly while he stayed back in the corridor. He looked around and saw a Healer coming down the hallway towards him and he stepped forward, grabbing the woman's elbow and saying,

"Excuse me, I need to speak to you about the man in this room."

The woman eyed him carefully and said, "Are you a relative of his?"

Severus pulled himself up straight and said in his most authoritative voice, "I'm his husband."

"I see," said the woman. She consulted her chart then looked up at him, saying, "Your husband's been hit with a Languorem hex."

"Languorem? You mean a sickness hex?" Severus asked.

The woman shook her head. "No, no it's more serious than that. After a 24-hour incubation period, Mr Potter will experience all manner of viruses in the next few weeks, which will be all the worse if he has never had the illness before. We're talking flu, pneumonia, shingles, gastroenteritis, the list is endless. On top of that, his magic will be all but depleted until the curse is out of his system and the recovery period will be long and arduous."

"What course of treatment will you be giving him?"

"He'll need healing spells to counteract the curse once a day and we'll be putting him on a course of anti-viral potions and a restorative draught to help with the magical drain he'll suffer."

Severus nodded and said, "Is there any reason why he needs to stay here to receive the treatment?"

"We're talking about at least a two-month healing period, sir."

"I understand that but is there any reason why he can't recuperate at home? I'd be more than happy to pay for a Healer to come every day to administer the healing spells."

"Well that's only the beginning of it," the Healer said. "He'll need to be cared for throughout the illnesses he's going to go through and the hospital simply can't spare any Healers at the moment to do that."

Severus paused for a moment, considering what he was about to say. "What if I looked after him?"

"Sir, I don't think you comprehend just how involving that will be. He's going to need intensive care while he's nursed through each virus, now can you honestly tell me that you're prepared to do that?"

If he'd have been asked that as little as a week ago, Severus would have said absolutely not, but now…after hearing Harry's desperate pleas not to be made to stay in the hospital, he knew what he had to do.

"I am," he said firmly.

The Healer didn't look all that convinced, but Severus was not to be moved. Eventually she relented, and after all the necessary paperwork was complete, Severus went back into Harry's room to find that Weasley had his arm around the boy and that Draco was holding his hand.

"Where did you go?" Draco asked. "You were right behind me."

Severus moved over to Harry's bed and addressed his husband directly. "I've spoken with your Healer, she says I can take you home."

"What?" Harry asked in confusion. "They told me I'd have to stay here."

"I know," Severus said, taking Harry's hand and ignoring the looks that were sent his way from Weasley and Draco as they moved aside. "But I spoke with her and she agreed that as long as I'm prepared to look after you, you can leave here today."

Harry frowned and searched Severus' face for some sign that he was lying. "You would do that?" he asked disbelievingly.

Severus reached up and brushed Harry's hair out of his eyes. "The papers are all signed. Let me take you home."

The expression of gratitude that appeared on Harry's face was almost overwhelming, and if he hadn't been in a room with both Weasley and Draco, Severus would have been sorely tempted to lean down and capture those full lips in a kiss.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked softly and though he tried, Severus couldn't quite manage to stop himself from smiling at the boy.

"It's too late now, the papers are all signed, they'll kick you out of here either way," he said, hoping the boy would read the humour that he intended to inject in his words.

The resulting smile told him he had been successful, and Harry shuffled off the bed, standing next to him and fixing him with those intense eyes. How had he never noticed how compelling Harry's eyes were? Were they all always this immobilising?

Continuing to ignore the looks coming his way from the room's other occupants, looks that were both disbelieving and suspicious, he wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, holding him gently as he said, "Hold on, let's get you out of here."

He apparated them both out of the hospital and back to the estate, directly into Harry's bedroom. Harry swayed slightly and Severus steadied him, saying, "Are you ok?"

"I feel a bit light-headed, and a little queasy," Harry said, shutting his eyes against the sudden dizziness.

"The Healer said this would happen," Severus murmured as he held Harry close. "We need to get you into bed. Come on, let's get you into something more comfortable," he said, bracing Harry against one of the bedposts and retrieving the boy's pyjamas from his dresser.

"I can manage," Harry protested as Severus came to stand back in front of him, but even as he said it, he swayed again.

"Don't be ridiculous, you can barely stand," Severus argued. His hands went to the buttons on Harry's shirt and Harry batted them away gently.

"No, no I can do it myself," Harry insisted, and warning bells immediately began to sound in Severus' head.

"Harry," he said, dipping his head to meet Harry's somewhat cloudy eyes. "What's the matter?"

"I don't…I don't want you to see me," Harry whispered, and Severus' stomach lurched when he saw the familiar sight of Harry shrinking in on himself, hunching his shoulders and trying to make himself smaller.

"You don't want me to see you without clothes?" Severus asked carefully.

"I can't Severus, please…you don't know…"

"Ssh, ssh, don't upset yourself, you need to preserve your strength. Please, you need to let me help you, you need to trust me."

Harry took a great shuddering breath, his eyes watery and his body stiff. Eventually he nodded and Severus returned his hands to the buttons on Harry's shirt, undoing them slowly as Harry's eyes went to the floor, his expression desperately unhappy. He slid the shirt from the boy's shoulders and even with the skills he had acquired from his many years of espionage, he was unable to stop the gasp that left his lips, or mask the look of horror that he knew was on his face.

Harry's entire torso was covered in scars of all manner of size and shape. There were burn scars, scars from knife wounds, magical scars and every now and again a black spiderweb of veins that lay against the skin, a mark Severus knew that was only made from severe damage caused by extended exposure to the Cruciatus.

"I told you," Harry whispered, "I'm a monster."

Severus had never understood that ridiculous expression 'to feel one's heart break', how could a heart break? And more importantly, how on earth could one feel such a thing? But in that moment, as he stood in that room opposite his husband, looking at the physical litany of horrors the man had endured, he thought that the unbearable feeling in his chest could only be explained as the raw heartbreak he felt at the knowledge of what Harry had gone through.

He slid a finger under Harry's chin and slowly tilted his head upwards until their eyes met. "Harry, you're not a monster. The people who did this to you are the monsters. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"How can you say that?" Harry asked, his expression plaintive. "Look at me."

"I am looking," Severus said firmly. "I see nothing but a man who has survived untold horrors, a man with more strength and forbearance than most of us could ever hope to possess. These scars are badges, and I am imploring you to never, ever be ashamed of them in my presence again."

"Severus…" Harry whispered, and Severus gently brushed away the tears that had begun to roll down Harry's cheeks. He had never known that he was capable of such gentleness, he had never known that he could care about another person more than himself, but as Harry stood there in front of him, broken and exposed, he would have given everything he held dear to take the pain away from him.

"Come on, you need to get into bed."

He helped Harry into the pyjamas then settled him into bed. Remembering how comforting it always felt when Harry did it, he began to rake his fingers through the thick, black hair, gratified when Harry closed his eyes and leant back into the pillows.

"Get some sleep," he said, "I'll be here when you wake up."

* * *

The first three weeks were the worst. Harry went through flu, pneumonia and stomach flu, all one after the other. He was desperately ill, his body, not exactly in peak physical fitness to begin with, could hardly cope with the strain it was placed under.

The Healer came once a day to administer the healing spells that Harry needed, but for the most part, it was Severus alone who tended to Harry. He would never have believed that he could be capable of taking care of another person, but when it came to his husband, it seemed to come easily to him.

It was true that it was an exhausting and draining process, and Severus spent any time that he wasn't tending to Harry either passed out on top of his bed or swiping a quick sandwich from the kitchen. He was completely shattered and he hadn't done anything so frivolous as read a book or simply stroll in the garden since Harry had been cursed, but it was worth it as far as he was concerned, to enable Harry to keep his sanity by staying away from the hospital.

Severus had never experienced intimacy in his life before; he didn't consider the many, many acts of debauchery he had committed with Julius to be intimate, merely a matter of course. Tending to Harry, helping him into the bath, literally spoon-feeding him at times,  _these_  were things of intimacy. He had spent night after night at the boy's bedside, trying to make him more comfortable, trying to give him moments of relief from the pain he was experiencing.

He sat with cool flannels against the boy's forehead when Harry's temperature was through the roof, or wrapped him up in extra blankets when he was shivering so hard that Severus was sure he must be rattling his brain. He read to him long into the night and sometimes simply just sat with him, holding his hand and murmuring quietly that he would be better soon.

"Severus?" Harry murmured one night as he lay in bed, weak and drifting in and out of sleep.

"I'm here," Severus said from his spot in the armchair next to Harry's bed. He had fallen asleep, the book he had been reading to Harry earlier open on his chest.

"What time is it?" Harry said, his voice raspy.

"A little after 3," Severus replied, glancing at his watch. "Can I get you something?"

"Some water please," Harry muttered, his voice raw. It was hardly surprising, Severus thought as he reached for the glass on Harry's bedside and held the straw to his lips, the boy had been throwing up for nearly two days straight.

Severus had sat with him on the bathroom floor as Harry leant his arm on the loo seat, his head lolled forward in between bursts of vomiting. He had wrapped a blanket around Harry's shoulders and rubbed his back, whispering words of comfort and charming the bathroom floor so that it was warm and cushioned, trying to provide Harry with a little comfort as he sat and miserably stared into the toilet bowl.

Eventually he had persuaded Harry to get back into bed, a bucket being placed at his side just in case. He had persuaded him to drink a little ginger tea and eat some dry toast, arguing that Harry needed something in his stomach to give him a little energy after he had lost so much. Harry had lain back against the pillows as Severus had run his fingers through the black mop of hair, muttering softly that the curse would be out of his system soon and he would finally be on the mend.

"Thanks," Harry said after he had drunk his fill, and Severus moved the glass back to the table, reminding himself to fetch a fresh jug of water when Harry had fallen back asleep.

Harry lay back against the pillows and looked up at the bed's canopy for a moment before he said softly, "I think I should go back to the hospital."

Severus leant forward with a frown and wrapped his long fingers around Harry's hand. "Is something wrong? Do I need to call a Healer?"

Harry shook his head. "No there's nothing wrong…well…no more than usual anyway."

"Then why do you want to go back to the hospital?"

"Severus you're exhausted, you can't do this, and I can't expect you to. It's not fair."

Severus shook his head with fond exasperation and moved his hand to Harry's hair, raking his fingers through the thick, black locks. "Don't be daft, you're not going back to the hospital."

"But – "

"You really want to argue with me when you've just spent the last 48 hours throwing up? The best place for you now is here, your home."

He knew he had said the right thing when Harry gifted him with one of his bright smiles. "Home," he repeated softly. "I love this place," he said, tilting his head so he could look at Severus. "I've never felt so at peace anywhere like I do here…even when I'm chucking my guts up," he added with a soft chuckle.

"Do you really like it that much?" Severus asked, continuing to stroke Harry's dark hair.

"I do," Harry murmured. "Everything about it just feels so…right. I love being here. It's going to kill me to leave," he finished, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Leave?" Severus asked with a frown.

"I'll have to leave," Harry mumbled sleepily, "the contract isn't forever. Come next July we won't be married anymore and I'll have to go back to Grimmauld Place."

Severus' fingers continued to stroke through the unruly hair, despite the fact that he was sure Harry had fallen back asleep. He frowned into the darkness of the room, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. A time when Harry wouldn't be there anymore? Unthinkable.

* * *

"Go to sleep."

"I am sleeping."

"Most people sleep with their eyes closed."

"I'm special."

"You can say that again."

"I'm – "

Severus placed his finger over Harry's lips and glared down at him. He was sitting on the sofa in the library, Harry lying sprawled next to him, the boy's head cushioned in his lap. He was through the illness stage of the curse, but now they were into his recovery period. He still had little or no magic to speak of, and he was undeniably weak, but the colour was coming back into his cheeks and he had been spending whole periods of time out of bed.

Harry grinned up at him and Severus tried very hard to stop his own lip twitching in response. He removed his finger from pressing against Harry's lip and returned his hand to its now habitual place in the messy thatch of hair, running his fingers through it. He turned his attention back to the book in his hand, ignoring the green eyes that were looking up at him.

"Read to me," Harry said sleepily.

"You're supposed to be catching up on your rest."

"I can't sleep anymore, I'm tired of sleep!" Harry protested. "Besides, I'd quite like to get back into the habit of only sleeping at night and it's only 4pm."

"You don't want me to read this bit," Severus argued, "it's where Smike dies."

"Oh," Harry said with a little sigh, his eyes fluttering closed. "I hate that bit. Poor Smike, he breaks my heart."

Severus smiled and moved his hand to trace one long finger down Harry's nose, over his lips and down to his throat. Harry stretched like a cat beneath him, emitting a contented sigh as he did so. Severus couldn't stop himself from touching Harry. He had spent the last month in one form of physical contact or another with the boy, offering him comfort, stroking his hair, placing a steadying hand on the boy's back when he helped him in and out of bed.

With each touch, it was as though Harry started slowly coming back to life. All the affection he had been so starved of had suddenly flooded him and he drank it in greedily as though his life depended on it. It had been strange to Severus at first, alien to be in such close contact with another person in such a wholly innocent and chaste way, but as he saw the effect his touches had on Harry, he found he couldn't stop. Somehow he always found a way to place his hands on him, and he was starting to wonder who these gentle caresses were actually benefitting.

He wanted to build Harry back up again, to help him recover not only from the curse he had been hit with, but from the terrible, tragic abuse he had suffered all those months ago. He wanted Harry well, wanted him to smile and laugh and move with purpose once again. He wanted to bring him back to life, to care for him and make him feel…cherished.

It was overwhelming. He had never in his life been concerned about another human being, not to this extent anyway. His every waking thought was about Harry, how to tend to him, how to restore him. It was for that reason, and that reason alone, that he had been prompted to write to Weasley earlier that morning.

Now that Harry was able to stomach more than thin broth and salted crackers, Severus wanted to start a regime that would see some much-needed meat on his husband's bones. He had no idea where to start though, what to instruct Kreacher to make that would tempt Harry to eat more than a couple of mouthfuls, as he had been doing for months, so he had written to the boy's best friend to ask for advice.

He couldn't believe he had done it. He had stooped as far as to ask that red-headed moron for help with Harry. A couple of months ago there was no way in hell that his pride would have allowed him to ask for such assistance, but it wasn't about him anymore, he had to put all that aside if he wanted to help Harry.

"It's so sad," Harry murmured, his eyes still closed as Severus' fingers teased over his collarbone. Severus was about to ask what was so sad when Harry expanded, "Smike dies before Ralph finds out he's his son. They're never able to be reunited."

"I'm afraid Ralph Nickleby was never going to have that chance of redemption, not with Mr Dickens in charge."

"No, I suppose not. Redemption is only possible for people who have some morality left."

To say that Severus had been surprised to find that Harry was a rabid Dickens fan was an understatement. As it turned out, the boy was an avid reader, and had read more than Severus would have ever suspected, across all genres, all time periods and all levels of popularity. He loved being read to, and in one of his more fever-hazed moments he had mumbled something about Severus' voice being almost too sexy to be allowed to read Dickens. Severus had nearly fallen off his chair at that comment, and had decided to put it down to the fever.

The doorbell suddenly sounded, and, knowing that Kreacher had decided to make himself busy in the garden, Severus said, "I'll go. You stay here and do  _not_  move."

"I'm going to have to be allowed to move on my own at some point you know!" Harry protested.

"That day is not today," Severus countered, gently sliding out from underneath Harry and resisting the urge to place a kiss on the boy's forehead as he had become accustomed to doing when he left Harry's room after the boy had fallen asleep.

When he opened the large front door, Severus was surprised to find Ron Weasley standing on his doorstep, a large tote bag in one hand. The red-head motioned for Severus to be silent and to come outside, closing the door behind him.

Somewhat bemused, Severus did as instructed and folded his arms across his chest saying, "What's all this about?"

"I thought I'd reply to your letter in person," Weasley said.

"And why might that be?"

Weasley's eyes narrowed slightly and he said, "Honestly, I wanted to find out what your motives were for all of this."

"All of what?" Severus asked, feeling defensive.

"This business of bringing Harry home from the hospital, caring for him yourself, writing to me to ask what food he likes. A few weeks ago you wouldn't have cared if Harry fell off a cliff."

"That isn't true," Severus insisted.

"Oh, we both know it is," Weasley said assuredly. "So what's all this in aid of? Why are you so desperate to play nursemaid to someone you can barely stand?"

"You know nothing about it," Severus growled. "I've taken care of him for the last month, I've sat with him into the small hours of the morning trying to bring down his temperature, rubbing his back to soothe him when he's spent the whole night throwing up. I've been there when he sobbed his heart out as he suffered feverish nightmares, I've held him and comforted him, so don't you dare tell me that I don't care about him," Severus raged, cursing himself for allowing himself to be so exposed, but desperately needing Weasley to see that he was wrong.

Weasley regarded him carefully, trying, Severus knew, to catch him out in a lie, to discern his real motives for showing a spark of humanity.

Severus shook his head. He was exhausted; he hadn't slept properly in weeks and to be accused of having another reason for looking after Harry other than caring about the boy's welfare was somewhat galling. "I didn't know what had happened to him," he said quietly, hoping this confession wouldn't land him another smack in the face as it had done with Draco. "I had no idea what he'd been through, no idea at all until I heard you speaking with him here a few weeks ago."

The same expression that Draco had worn at Severus' revelation was now on Weasley's face and Severus recognised it now as a sudden, deep surge of protectiveness towards Harry, a need to shield him from whatever horrors might be in store from someone besides themselves knowing what had happened.

"I want to help him, I  _have_  to help him," Severus said quietly. "Beyond his recovery from this illness, beyond his magical drainage. I have to make him better. Dear Merlin, do you think I would ask for your help under any other circumstances?"

Weasley looked thoughtful, an expression Severus wasn't used to seeing on the boy's face. "You have to mean it," Weasley said eventually, a deep frown between his brows.

"What?"

"You have to mean it," Weasley repeated, a little more firmly this time. "You have to be serious about this. Harry needs…he needs all the help that you can possibly give him, and more besides. You can't just pick him up and drop him when you feel like it, when it all gets too much. He's damaged, he's broken, and nothing in all our history with you has ever indicated to me that you have anything like the kindness or patience that's needed to make him well again."

"Do you think that I'm not aware of that?" Severus asked, his voice harsh. "Don't you think that I'm well aware that I am the last person anyone would choose for this endeavour? But now that I know…now that I've seen what he went through, what he's still going through, I want…I  _need_  to help him…and I think I can."

Weasley sighed and stared down at the bag in his hands. "Lasagne," he said after an uncomfortable silence.

"I beg your pardon?"

"In the bag, it's my mum's lasagne. It's Harry's favourite meal in the whole world, she's made one especially for him, along with shepherd's pie, beef stew and steak and kidney pie. She's going to make a batch of meals every week and I'll bring them over."

"That's not – "

"Trust me, if you want Harry to start eating again then my mum's cooking is the way to do it. She makes everything just the way he likes it and he's never been able to resist." Weasley paused for a moment, then said, "Harry has family around him, people that love and care for him. You want Harry well again? You need to let us in too."

Weasley apparently wasn't expecting an answer to that pronouncement, and handed Severus the bag, saying, "I'll leave you for now, but I'll be back with more food next week. This…this was a good first step, but I'm still going to take some convincing."

Severus was about to remark that he didn't care what Weasley thought and that the boy could take his imperious attitude and stick it where the sun didn't shine, when the boy apparated from sight, leaving Severus standing outside his own home, holding a bag of food.

Slightly nonplussed, he went back inside, finding Harry still sprawled on the sofa, gazing up at the ceiling sleepily.

"Who was it? I thought you'd been abducted."

Severus cleared his throat and held up the bag. "It…it was Mr Weasley. He was dropping off provisions from his mother."

"What?" Harry asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

"Molly has…made some food for you. How do you feel about lasagne?"

Harry paused for a moment, looking at the bag in Severus' hand, before looking up at him and smiling slightly. "Perhaps…perhaps just a little bit."

Severus felt triumphant. Harry would have never asked for this for himself, would have never asked Molly to make it for him, but now it was here in his house, Severus could see that Harry was cheered by thought of tucking in.

The boy tried to stand from the sofa, but as usual, his weak legs buckled from beneath him. Severus was by his side in an instant, the bag of food abandoned by the side of the sofa, as he grabbed one of Harry's hands and used his free hand to steady Harry on the small of his back.

"How many times do I have to tell you to wait to be helped up?" Severus asked, pulling Harry a little closer as he wrapped his arm more tightly around him.

"At least once more," Harry replied with a lazy smile, bringing his free hand up to rest on Severus' shoulder. It stayed there for a moment before it moved to graze his fingers along Severus' jaw and Severus felt his breath hitch at the intimate gesture. He had grown accustomed to touching Harry, but to have Harry touching him was something else entirely.

The fingers moved until they teased round to the back of his neck, and before he had registered what was happening, Harry was pulling him down into a kiss. He groaned slightly as the boy's soft lips met his, and he pulled Harry closer so that there was no distance between their bodies whatsoever. Harry was still cautious, a little hesitant, but the slow, soft kiss was perhaps the most sensuous thing that Severus had ever experienced. It was intoxicating, and it confirmed what he had thought after the first kiss they had shared – he could become dangerously accustomed to this.

Harry's fingers were brushing at the base of his hairline and he shivered, never having realised before that such a ministration could produce such a reaction. Oh God, the boy was going to send him insane. Harry broke away, a shy smile playing about his lips, lips that were slightly swollen and redder than usual.

"I couldn't wait any longer," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've been waiting for you to kiss me again, I had to take matters into my own hands."

"You've been on death's door you recalcitrant whelp!" Severus growled, holding Harry tightly in his arms.

"I'm better now."

"No you bloody well aren't."

"I'm  _getting_  better," Harry argued. "Please," he whispered, "I'd like…I'd like us to do it…a little more often."

It was so sweetly said, the request so achingly innocent that Severus felt something tighten across his chest. He looked down at his husband, the imploring expression so disarmingly endearing that Severus thought Harry could have asked for his right arm and he would have torn it off there and then to give to him.

He brushed the dark locks away from the boy's forehead then moved his hand to cup Harry's cheek, gratified to note the healthy tinge of colour there. He brushed his thumb back and forth over Harry's cheekbone, then whispered softly, "As often as you like Harry."

* * *

Severus had never imagined that something as chaste as a kiss could have such a powerful effect on him. Since Harry's instigation in the library, the two had shared several more kisses, each one sweet and slow, full of tenderness and affection. They never turned passionate, Severus never allowed them to; he was aware that Harry needed a slow and careful road to recovery where physical intimacy was concerned, but with each kiss, Severus gradually came to the realisation that he was becoming more and more attracted to his husband.

Harry's recovery was still continuing, but thanks to Molly's constant food delivery and a little gentle exercise in the garden, he was slowly starting to fill out a little, whilst retaining a much healthier complexion than he had had in months. His eyes were bright, and he was losing the dark circles underneath them, and every time Severus caught himself looking at the boy, he realised that he was finding new things each time that drew his attention.

How he could have ever looked at Harry with anything other than a very appreciative eye was beyond him. Worse still, the fact that he had ever had the gall to compare him to Julius was utterly shameful. Harry was beautiful in a way that Julius could never be.

"We should go back inside," Severus murmured into the thatch of dark hair beneath his chin.

"Mm, a little longer," came the muffled response as Harry snuggled in closer. Severus tightened his arm around the warm body that was cuddled into him and pulled the blanket up to cover them both better.

They were out in the summerhouse, Harry having insisted on staying out in the garden after he had taken a walk around the garden and surrounding pastureland, his arm looped through Severus' as they had strolled. It was early November, and really, far too cold to be sitting in a summerhouse, but Severus had placed a warming charm over them both and added the blanket for good measure.

"You'll catch your death out here," Severus warned.

"Not like this I won't," Harry replied cheekily. "You're like a furnace." He nuzzled his cheek against Severus' chest and Severus took a couple of deep breaths, wondering if Harry had any idea of the effect he had on him. His hand found its usual place in Harry's hair and he raked his fingers through it, allowing himself the indulgence of placing a small kiss to the top of Harry's head.

Harry tilted his head upwards and smiled sleepily up at Severus and Severus couldn't resist leaning down and brushing a kiss against those soft lips. What little tension there was in Harry's body seemed to melt out of him and he emitted a content little moan as Severus's lips moved against his own.

"What am I going to do without you?" Harry murmured softly as they broke apart.

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked with a frown.

"When I have to leave," Harry replied with a sad little smile. "When this is all over."

"Harry – " Severus began, but was interrupted by the arrival of an owl, which landed on the little table just outside the summerhouse. Severus sighed and shifted slightly, disentangling himself from Harry and getting up to see to the bird.

He untied the scroll from its leg and scanned the contents quickly, looking back towards Harry with a slight frown, not knowing how the boy was going to take the news the bird had brought.

"It's from Kingsley," he said, and Harry looked at him questioningly. "They've caught the person responsible for cursing you. It was Evan Rosier."

Harry visibly paled and immediately his body language changed. He hunched in on himself and Severus' heart sank to see it. He was vulnerable and hurting and all Severus wanted to do was take it away from him. He moved back into the summerhouse and knelt in front of Harry, taking the boy's hands in his own and saying, "They've put him in Azkaban, he can't hurt you now."

Harry nodded but refused to meet his eyes and Severus didn't know how to make this better. He was searching for the right thing to say when Harry stood abruptly and said, "We'd better go in, it is a little cold out here."

He watched Harry take a few uncertain steps, wondering at how their little cocoon could have been so easily shattered by a piece of paper with a few scribbled sentences on it. It was only until later that night that Severus realised just how badly affected Harry had been by hearing the man's name.

It was the screaming that woke him. He was back in his own room, as he had been since Harry had entered his recovery period and no longer needed round the clock supervision, and was wrenched from his slumber by a harsh, raw scream.

He bolted up in bed and was out of the door and across to Harry's room in seconds. As with the time before, Severus found Harry thrashing around, tangling himself in the bedsheets and crying out as though he was in pain.

He gathered Harry up in his arms and held him close to his chest, trying to ease him gently from his nightmare, to make him feel safe and protected.

"Ssh, it's ok, I'm here," he soothed as he rocked Harry back and forth as the boy's body was racked with harsh, ragged sobs. "You're safe Harry, you're safe," he murmured as he smoothed the black hair down and held his husband close. Harry wept uncontrollably as he clung to Severus, his whole body shaking, his left hand trembling.

"Severus," Harry whispered, his voice terrified and small.

"You're ok, I've got you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you," he promised softly.

It was a cold night, and, worrying that Harry would catch a chill in his already weakened state, Severus gathered the bedclothes up and wrapped them around them both. He held Harry tightly to his body and murmured gentle words of comfort, whispered promises that no one was going to hurt him, that no one would hurt him ever again.

"I'm so sorry I woke you," Harry muttered eventually when he had calmed down a little.

"There's nothing to apologise for," Severus assured him as he continued to hold him. "This is what I'm here for."

"I shouldn't…I shouldn't be so pathetic," Harry said with a sniff, and Severus felt that horrible feeling clawing at his chest once again.

"You are anything but pathetic," Severus told him firmly. "It's understandable that the letter…hearing that bastard's name brought it all back to you. Harry after what they did to you…" Severus trailed off as the body in his arms suddenly became horribly tense.

There was unnatural silence for a moment and Severus was sure that Harry was holding his breath, as he couldn't even feel the rhythm of his breathing anymore. Harry pulled back a little and looked up at Severus, his expression pained and grief-stricken.

"You know…" he whispered. "You know what happened to me," he said. It wasn't a question, but Severus nodded nevertheless. "How?" he asked breathlessly.

"I…overheard you and Mr Weasley speaking…the day you were cursed."

"Oh God," Harry said, looking as though he might be sick. He untangled himself fully from Severus and pushed himself up against the headboard of the bed, pulling his knees up to his chest and looking at Severus mournfully. "I never wanted you to find out," he said softly.

"Harry, I  _should_  have known," Severus insisted. "If I'd have had any idea what had happened to you I would never have – "

"What?" Harry asked sharply. "You would never have what?"

Severus took a deep breath, wishing that they weren't having this conversation under these circumstances. "I would never have treated you the way I did with regards to our…physical relationship."

A strange look came over Harry's face and he stood from the bed, moving to stand by the window. "You wouldn't have slept with me if you'd have known?" he asked, and Severus couldn't decipher the look that was being sent his way.

"I…no…no I wouldn't," Severus said haltingly.

"I see," said Harry, his face becoming hard. "Well of course you wouldn't. Who would want to share a bed with damaged goods like me?" he asked fiercely.

"That's not what I meant Harry," Severus said, standing up and moving to stand in front of Harry.

"Oh? And what did you mean?" Harry asked, his breathing erratic and his eyes wild. "That you wouldn't have wanted to come near me if you'd have known I was used goods? That I was nothing more than a second-hand toy of the Death Eaters?"

"Harry please, you're not well enough to be getting agitated like this."

"I think you should leave," Harry said, his voice hard. "I'm surprised you can stand to be in the same room with such an undesirable, tainted – "

"Harry stop this!" Severus implored, moving forward and placing his hands firmly on Harry's shoulders. Harry was bordering on hysterical and Severus was concerned that he was going to do himself serious injury if he continued.

Harry shook himself free and moved away from the window. "Is this what the last couple of months has all been in aid of?" he asked, his eyes flashing.

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, perplexed.

"You, the sudden gentleness, looking after me when I was ill, reading to me…kissing me," Harry said, suddenly looking as though all the wind had been knocked out of him.

Severus sighed and tried to gather his thoughts for a moment before replying. "Yes," he said eventually, "but not in the way that you think," he added firmly at seeing the look on Harry's face. "Harry…when I learnt what had happened to you…it made me sick to my stomach. I was…so ashamed of the way I had treated you, I needed to made amends, I needed to make things right. I found myself wanting to take care of you, wanting to give you everything you needed, everything you deserved."

"None of this…none of this has been because of me, because of how you feel about…it's all just been because of what happened to me," Harry said, the wildness and anger disappearing from his eyes to be replaced with resigned sadness.

Severus crossed the room in a couple of quick strides and took Harry's hands in his own, meeting the boy's tired eyes as openly as he could. "I won't lie to you and say that that wasn't the initial impetus behind my change in attitude to you, but…now…" he let go of one of Harry's hands and moved his own to stroke the boy's flushed cheek, "now it's…more than that."

He couldn't elaborate on that, he didn't know how to. He didn't know how to vocalise exactly what it was he felt for Harry and he prayed that the boy wouldn't ask him. Green eyes held his unwaveringly and he knew he was lost. "What happened to you was…abhorrent," Severus whispered, "and I will do whatever is in my power to help you recover from it. I care for you, Harry," he said, feeling horribly vulnerable at the admission. "Please let me help you."

Harry released a shuddering breath and threw himself into Severus' arms. Severus was hit with such a feeling of relief that it was all he could do to hold his husband tightly and whisper words of comfort as Harry began to cry.

He held Harry late into the night and on into the morning. At some point they made their way to the bed and Severus wrapped them both in the duvet, holding Harry tightly to him and letting the boy cry his heart out. In between bursts of tears, Harry would talk. He whispered against Severus' chest, into the darkness of the night, all the things that had been done to him, all the horrors he had suffered.

It broke Severus' heart to hear the account from Harry's own lips and he had to fight to keep his own feelings in check as he listened to the details of Harry's time as a prisoner. How the boy had lived through the ordeal, Severus had no idea. The level of cruelty and pure, sadistic torture that he had endured were beyond the bounds of credulity. No one should have had to live through what Harry had.

He was sickened and devastated by what he heard, but Severus encouraged Harry to keep talking, to get it out and bring it into the open so he could face it. He wasn't foolish or naïve enough to think that one night of conversation would rid the boy of his demons, but he thought that it was perhaps a good start.

Harry eventually fell into an exhausted sleep at around 4 o'clock in the morning, still wrapped in Severus' arms, clinging on tightly and emitting small, little sobs every now and again as his mind continued in turmoil, even in sleep.

Severus lay in the dark, holding Harry closely to him, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. He felt broken, altered somehow, and he knew, as he lay there and tightened his protective hold around his husband that he would never again let Harry down. He would be there no matter what and he would do anything in his power to heal the battered and wounded soul of the only person he had ever truly cared for.

* * *

"Sit down."

"I'm only getting a book."

"Let me get it for you."

"Severus, I appreciate your concern but I'm really much better than I was. I'm perfectly capable of perusing a bookshelf," Harry said with faint amusement as he withstood the glare being sent his way from his husband.

"I promised to leave you alone if you promised to rest," Severus countered. He'd come up from the potions lab to find Harry pottering around in the library, and was most displeased by it.

The news of Evan Rosier's imprisonment, and the subsequent effect it had had on Harry, had pushed Harry's recovery back somewhat. He had been weak and unsteady on his feet and had had a fever for a few days afterwards. He was getting better, but Severus was cautious.

"You're having visitors today, you need to maintain your strength for it," Severus asserted.

Harry smiled at him and tilted his head to the side, in that ridiculous way that Severus told himself he most certainly did  _not_  find endearing. "Having my friends over for a cup of tea is hardly a strenuous activity," he argued. Seeing that Severus had a counter-argument ready, Harry closed the distance between them and shut his husband up with a kiss.

"That is cheating," Severus growled as Harry wound his arms around his neck.

"I know," Harry said with fake contrition. "But you bring out my Slytherin side," Harry told him, leaning in and brushing a few light kisses along the man's jaw.

After his night of confession, Harry had seemed to take Severus at his word, to believe that the man wanted nothing more than to help him. He had been not only willing to accept any affection that was offered, but to instigate it himself. Severus had been right in his initial judgement that giving Harry exactly what he needed, what he craved, when it came to intimacy was the right way to go, and he was determined to show Harry all the kindness and affection that he was humanly capable of.

Harry, for his part, drank in every touch, every kiss as though his life depended on it. Severus had been worried that after pouring his heart out, the boy would shy away from him out of some misplaced sense of shame, but Harry had once again surprised him. After waking up in Severus' arms, seeing that Severus was still there after everything, it was as though something had shifted in Harry and his guards had come down. He had realised that Severus wasn't disgusted by his confession, at least, not disgusted by him, and it seemed to Severus that he had managed to prove himself in Harry's eyes, prove that he was worthy of the trust that Harry had perhaps thought himself too bruised to offer anyone.

"You'll not distract me that way," Severus said, not believing his own words.

"No?" Harry asked, pulling back and regarding Severus with a grin that could only be described as impish. It warmed Severus' heart to see it.

"No," Severus said, affecting his best schoolteacher impression. "Did you eat all the lunch that Kreacher made for you?"

"Every last bit," Harry said, and Severus knew he was being mocked.

"Impertinent brat," Severus murmured, leaning forward and capturing Harry's lips once again, wrapping his arms around the boy and pulling him close. One of Harry's hands was stroking back and forth across his neck, and Severus couldn't believe that he had gone his whole life without knowing the effect that such an innocuous touch could have on him.

Harry emitted a soft moan and before Severus knew what he was doing, he was deepening the kiss. He couldn't help it; Harry was pulled up so tightly against his body, and that hand continuing its gentle ministrations was undoing him. His tongue met Harry's and a jolt of electricity went through him, snapping him back to his senses. He pulled away, cursing himself for allowing himself to take things further.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said, catching his breath and lowering his eyes, allowing Harry the opportunity to collect himself.

"I don't need an apology for that," Harry said, and Severus' eyes snapped back up to him. Harry's eyes were bright and he was smiling. He leant forward so his lips were level with Severus' ear and whispered softly, "In fact, if that doesn't happen again, we'll be having words."

Severus couldn't suppress his shiver and he closed his eyes as Harry's breath ghosted over his ear. Dear Merlin, the boy was going to be the death of him. He was saved, mercifully, by the proverbial bell as the doorbell sounded and he extracted himself from his grinning husband, trying his best to glare at him as he left the library.

He opened the front door to greet Draco, Weasley and Granger, who all greeted him politely, if a little awkwardly. He let them in and instructed them through to the library. He was about to descend to the potions lab once again when Harry popped his head around the door and said, "Aren't you joining us?"

"I thought you would appreciate some time with your friends," Severus replied.

"I'd appreciate some time with you there as well," Harry said with that bloody smile that rendered Severus unable to refuse him anything.

So it was that Severus Snape, former Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, found himself spending an afternoon sharing tea and sandwiches with four of his former students. He would have loved to have said that it was a trial, a horrid torment, to spend time with these ridiculous people, but to see how happy Harry was to have his friends around him, to see him laugh and joke and tease, Severus would have spent the afternoon with every former student in existence.

Severus supposed that if he was forced to admit it, he might grudgingly concede that actually Granger and Weasley were quite good company. He had always been aware of Granger's intelligence of course, but after the war, and since leaving school, the girl had lost a lot of that irritating need to prove herself and her intellectual assets, and had mellowed into a confident, bright woman who gave a stimulating and rewarding conversation.

Weasley too, it seemed, had matured greatly since leaving school. He had a self-assurance that Severus had never seen in him before and carried himself with purpose. There was very little of the boy he had once been and Severus found himself surprised several times throughout that afternoon to find that he was looking at a man.

Draco too was different. Severus supposed it would it have been impossible for him not to change, given that he spent his time ensconced with the Golden Trio, and was, it had to be said, sickeningly in love with Weasley. The affection and love that the two men held for each for other was perhaps one of the most obvious things Severus had ever seen. He had noticed it at his wedding all those months ago, but, his perspective having been different at the time, he hadn't really appreciated it.

He had wondered all that time ago what it was that had made Draco switch his allegiance, not only saving Harry but killing his own father in the process. Now he knew. Love for Weasley had turned Draco inside out and shaken him into a new person, willing to do anything and risk everything for the man he loved.

Severus was tidying away the crockery and tea things while Harry showed the others the gardens and all the work he had done in then, when the noise of someone clearing their throat behind him made him turn around sharply. Weasley was standing in the library doorway, obviously aiming for nonchalant, but the slight twitch of his hands proved otherwise.

"I thought you were in the garden," Severus said.

"I was," Weasley said, stepping forward a little. "I wanted to speak with you."

Severus felt his guards shoot up. The last time he and Weasley had spoken hadn't been particularly cordial. Making sure his face was as passive as it could be, Severus rose an eyebrow and said, "Oh?"

Weasley took a deep breath and cast a glance over his shoulder before moving into the room and shutting the door behind him. He gave Severus an evaluating look for a moment, then said, "I think I owe you an apology."

Severus knew he hadn't been able to hide his surprise, but at that point he didn't care much. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"I accused you of not caring about Harry, and I need to apologise for that. Despite the illness he's been through, I've never seen him look so well…or so happy. He's smiling again and he walks with purpose. He's eating properly and he looks like he's getting more than 20 minutes of sleep a night. We've all tried, we've all done what we could to help him, to make him well again, but it seemed like nothing we did ever reached him."

Weasley smiled slightly and Severus was amazed to see that it was directed at him. "I don't know that we'll ever be friends, or if we'll ever see each other as anything but a former irritating student and former evil, sadistic Potions professor," he added with a grin, "but I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't acknowledge the good you've done and thank you sincerely for it."

Severus was stunned. He was trying to think of an adequate response when Weasley crossed the room to stand in front of him and extended his hand. Severus stared at the freckled appendage for a moment before taking hold and shaking it slowly. Wonders really would never cease.

* * *

The next few weeks passed calmly and peacefully. Harry continued to recover from the curse under Severus' watchful eye and had put on a much-needed stone in weight. He was well enough to take care of Severus when, unfortunately the migraines struck again, and although Severus hated the bloody things with ever fibre of his being, having Harry tend to him again was pure bliss.

He had begun to encourage Harry to consider seeing a counsellor, and although the boy kept resisting his suggestion, he was hopeful that in time Harry would come to see the sense in it. They had had a couple more conversations about what had happened, each one fraught and difficult, ending in harsh, bitter tears with Harry wrapped up in Severus' arms, protected and safe.

Each time, Severus' heart broke for his husband, and he was reminded that although Harry was recovering, he was still fragile, and still needed to be treated with care.

Christmas was a quiet but pleasant affair. Severus was feeling guilty that he had let Harry's 20th birthday pass without so much as a card in offering and he presented the boy with a beautiful new set of robes. They had lunch together, courtesy of Kreacher and went for a cold, snowy walk in the surrounding countryside before Draco, Ron and Hermione descended on them for the evening.

Boxing Day was spent at The Burrow, and Harry had been almost beside himself with glee to see Severus dropped into the centre of chaos that was the Weasley family home when all Weasleys and their partners had been present. He had kept to the shadows as much as possible and had glowered into his glass of wine for the most part, tempted out only by Harry's gentle smiles and promises of protection from the red-headed masses.

"It wasn't that bad," said Harry as he lay cushioned against Severus' chest as they lay sprawled on the sofa in the library in front of the fire.

"Kissing the hem of Voldemort's robes was more fun than that," Severus growled into the mop of hair that kept tickling his nose.

Harry chuckled and snuggled in a little closer. "You enjoyed it. I actually saw you smile at one point."

"I did not, you take that back."

"Or what?" Harry teased.

"Or I'll boot you onto the floor."

"Oh Severus, such empty threats," Harry said with dramatic sigh, tightening his hold on the man to prove his point.

"Brat."

"Mm," Harry agreed happily. "Since I have you in such a good mood, I was wondering if you might concede to doing me a favour?"

"How worried should I be?" Severus asked warily.

Harry smiled into the man's chest and brought his hand up to play with the buttons on his shirt. "The centre's holding a New Year's Eve party…I wondered if you'd come with me."

Hearing the vulnerability in Harry's voice caused Severus' chest to constrict and he was painfully reminded of the last function Harry had asked him to and how he had declined the invitation with little or no thought. He remembered the forlorn, lonely picture of his husband in the paper the next morning and he unconsciously pulled Harry closer to him. "Of course I'll come. I'd be honoured."

So it was that come 8 o'clock on New Year's Eve, Severus stood in the entrance hall, waiting for Harry to finish dressing. He adjusted his cufflinks, the ones Harry had bought him, and smiled as the delicate little serpents slithered and settled themselves against the fabric of his sleeves. He smoothed down his collar then adjusted his wedding ring, settling it more comfortably in its usual place on his ring finger. He hadn't removed it since the day he had put it back on, the day Harry had been cursed, and he had no intention of letting it leave his finger again.

He heard the stairs creak and and he looked up to see Harry descending them, dressed in the robes Severus had bought him for Christmas. He looked stunning, that was the only word Severus could think of that would adequately describe his husband. The dark, forest green of the robes accentuated Harry's complexion and eye colour, and the expensive tailoring showed off Harry's now healthy and lithe body. How could he have ever thought that Julius was more attractive than Harry? How could he have ever thought that  _anyone_  was more attractive than Harry?

"Are you ready?" Harry asked fastening the top button of his collar.

"Mm," Severus replied, his eyes finding it impossible to leave his husband.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked as he moved to the porch to retrieve his cloak. Severus caught his arm and pulled him back to face him, saying,

"You look beautiful."

Harry blushed to the roots of his hair and Severus told himself that there was no way in hell he found it adorable. "You don't have to say that," he said softly. "I don't…"

"Harry," Severus said, hooking a finger under the boy's chin and tilting his head upwards. "Have I ever lied to you?"

Harry shook his head, looking somewhat confused by the question.

"You'll know then, that when I tell you something, it can't be anything but the truth. So, you'll just have to believe me when I say that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Harry's breath hitched and as he stood illuminated by the soft candlelight of the hallway, his eyes shining, soft with emotion, Severus could honestly say that he had never meant anything more. He moved forward and wrapped an arm around Harry's waist lowering his lips to the boy's ear and saying, "You'd best apparate us to our destination then, before I forget the reason why you're so dressed up."

Harry laughed softly and said, "Yes sir," before he pressed a gentle kiss to Severus' cheek.

A few seconds later and they were both standing outside a large building, that looked very much to Severus as though it might have been a stately home at one point. It looked Georgian in its architecture and music and laughter were coming from inside.

"Welcome to Oak Ridge," Harry said, looking up at the building, pride etched into every angle of his features.

"This is where I lose you to every week then is it?" Severus said.

"Not in the last couple of months," Harry said, rolling his eyes. Severus knew that Harry had been feeling guilty for not being able to get to the centre since he had been hit with the curse, but there was no way in hell that either he or Draco were going to let Harry go back until his recovery was complete.

Harry took his hand and Severus felt a strange surge of pleasure go through him at the simple gesture. He was led inside the impressive building and introduced to a sea of faces, all of whom were either trustees or supporters of the centre. There were a few ministry officials whom Draco had strong-armed into attendance with a view to garnering their backing for the endeavour.

A string quartet was responsible for the beautiful music that was permeating through the corridors, and there was an overall atmosphere of merriment and cheer. Harry gave him the grand tour, and he was greatly impressed with what he saw. The thought and effort that had gone in to making the centre a happy and safe home for children of all ages was staggering.

The view was for the centre to act as a springboard to the eventual adoption of the majority of the children, but for those who never attained that, Oak Ridge would serve as their home until they reached adulthood, with a support programme in place to help them make their way in their world. The eventual goal was for it to serve as a base for all wizarding children's services, not just for those children who had lost parents in the war, but for those who would come to lose parents in the future, or for those where intervention was required.

Harry's extensive knowledge of the subject was staggering. He seemed to know the ins and outs of every legal procedure with regards to the safeguarding and protection of children, and he had real vision as to the direction he wanted the centre to go in the future. He spoke with passion and intensity as he outlined his plans to Severus and Severus watched him speak with a feeling of awed pride.

Harry had to leave him several times throughout the night to attend to his duties as host and co-director of the centre, and Severus watched him carry himself with dignity and confidence as he spoke with people of varying degrees of importance.

Severus was sitting at a table, moving a glass of brandy around the surface in small circles and watching Harry mingle. He was aware that he was wearing a stupid smile of contentment on his face, but there was very little he could do about it. When it came to Harry, he was finding that it was impossible to conceal his feelings when he looked at the boy.

He was aware that he was suddenly not alone at the table and he turned to his right to see a young girl sitting in the chair next to him, scrutinising him carefully. She had rich, auburn hair that sat just above her shoulders in loose waves, and soft hazel eyes that Severus was willing to bet never missed a thing.

"Hello," Severus said uncertainly.

"Are you the Potions Master?" the little girl asked.

"I am. And who might you be?"

"Lydia Featherstone," she said, extending her hand. Severus shook it, realising that this was the little girl he had heard so much about.

"Severus Snape," he said, and Lydia nodded, indicating that she already knew his name.

"You're married to Harry, aren't you?"

"I am," he confirmed, and Lydia tilted her head in a way that reminded him so much of Harry that it was really quite eerie.

"I like Harry," she said with conviction. "He doesn't lie like most grown-ups."

"Oh?" asked Severus, mildly amused by her evaluation.

Lydia crossed her arms and looked across the room to where Harry was standing. "He doesn't lie about difficult things. He says when he doesn't know something, rather than just making it up like most grown-ups, and he tells me the truth about my mum."

"What about her?" Severus asked softly.

Lydia removed her gaze from Harry and looked back at him. "He tells me that there's a chance she won't get better, that she might never wake up. He's the only person that's told me that and that's why I trust him." Severus looked at her questioningly and she elaborated with a shrug, "I reckon that if he tells me the truth when everyone else wants to lie to me, even when it's difficult, that he's the person I can rely on."

"That seems like a very wise evaluation," Severus said sombrely. "Harry tells me you're interested in potions?"

"Yes," Lydia said, her eyes brightening at the change of topic. "I've been reading Irwin Rondheim's writings."

Severus' eyebrows rose in surprise. "That's…rather advanced material," he said. Advanced was an understatement. There were people his age that would struggle with the man's writing, let alone an eight-year-old girl.

"It's a bit wordy," the girl agreed with the air of someone twenty years older, "but he's better than Calliope Thornton."

"Now there I must disagree with you Miss Featherstone, Ms Thornton's work is unsurpassed."

"She likes the sound of her own voice too much. Some of her sentences are never-ending."

"Regardless of the style of her writing, her work is unparalleled. Her discoveries regarding the transformative properties of vervain and hawthorn have revolutionised the field of nutrient potions."

Lydia gave a dismissive shrug and said, "She was just building on work that had already been done by Lissa Holdthrup a few years prior."

"Miss Featherstone, I must protest – "

"Am I interrupting?" came an amused voice somewhere above his shoulder and he inclined his head to see Harry standing there, looking at them both with a shrewd smile.

Severus cleared his throat and said, "Not at all. Miss Featherstone and I were debating the various merits of some of the leading lights of the potions world. I was about to illuminate the many ways in which she is wrong."

"Not wrong," Lydia argued, tilting her chin up, "just better informed."

Severus heard the suppressed snort from behind him and he turned his head to glare up at his husband, who immediately affected an air of innocence.

Harry schooled his features back into some semblance of order and said, "Lydie, they're starting the games over in the library if you want to join in."

Lydia's face darkened and she said, "Do I have to?"

Harry sighed and walked over to the girl, then knelt down in front of her. "Honey, we've talked about this. No one's going to make you do anything you don't want to, but it might be a good idea for you to try and spend a little more time with some of the other children here."

"They're all idiots," Lydia said sulkily, crossing her arms. A jolt went through Severus as he realised he could have been looking at himself 30 years ago.

"Lydie that's not nice," Harry said firmly. "Not everyone is going to be as clever as you are, you're an exceptionally bright young woman but the children here have other qualities that are just as important as intelligence. I'll not have you thinking you're better than they are and isolating yourself from them."

"They don't like me," Lydia said stubbornly.

Harry reached out and took hold of one of her small hands. "That's not true," he said gently. "They just don't know how to take you, the same way you don't know how to take them. All it takes is a little patience and understanding. Will you try, for me?"

Lydia chewed her lip and looked at Harry closely with her intelligent eyes, trying to find a way to argue her case. Eventually, her expression softened, and she said, "Fine, but I'm only staying for one game."

"Make it two and we've got a deal."

Lydia sighed and nodded her head, getting up from her seat, Harry moving back a little to allow her some room. "If this doesn't work out, I'm going to come and kick you in the shin," she muttered mutinously as she stalked off towards the library.

Harry sat down in her vacated seat opposite Severus and watched her go with an indulgent smile. He turned his attention back to Severus, whom he realised had been watching the entire proceedings with interest.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," Severus said softly. Privately he was thinking that if someone like Harry had come along when he was a child and taken the time and effort that he had taken with Lydia, he might have had some hope of not turning out to be such a bitter, disaffected shell of a person.

"Honey," came Draco's voice as he and Ron took a seat at the table with them, "I know you're training to be an Auror, but do you think you could turn a blind eye if I murdered just one or two of these ministry officials?"

Ron chuckled and said, "I see you ditched Hermione with them."

Draco sighed. "She's better with them than I am. She just bulldozes right through them and they back down. I mean really, would you argue with her?"

"She's far worse since she started at law school, now she has serious evidence to back up her arguments," said Ron, shaking his head fondly.

"I thought you were going to be joining her at law school, Draco?" Severus asked as he took a sip of his brandy.

"I was," said Draco with a sigh, "but things picked up with this place and I just didn't have the time. I'm considering doing an access course in the summer though."

"You just make sure you don't burn yourself out love," Ron said, throwing an arm around Draco's shoulders and pulling him close, placing a kiss to his temple.

Severus stole a glance across at Harry, who was watching them with the same wistful expression he had worn months ago at the wedding. Severus recognised it now as not a yearning for either of the two men, but for what they had. He wanted someone to sling an arm around his shoulders and kiss him casually in front of people; he wanted someone who would tease him and laugh with him, someone who would openly show their love and affection for him.

"You should take your own advice Mr Weasley," Draco said, resting his head on Ron's shoulder. "That bloody Auror programme is stealing you away from me."

"The entirety of male quidditch players could parade up and down in front of me naked and they wouldn't steal me away from you."

"Well there's an interesting mental picture," said Harry disconcertedly, rolling his eyes at the pair. "You two really are quite sickening, you know."

"We know," said Draco with a grin, nestling in closer to the strong body that held him closely.

The rest of the evening passed by in a pleasant and somewhat fuzzy blur. Alcohol flowed freely, and Severus was gratified to see Harry relaxed and enjoying himself. He was a good host and acted as an effective conduit for easy, natural conversation. People responded well to him and he wasn't above turning on the charm to bring people round to his way of thinking and to garner their support for the centre.

Midnight drew nearer and people began to section off into couples, ready to kiss on the stroke of midnight. Harry gravitated towards Severus, his cheeks flushed with the evening's festivities, looking, to Severus' eyes absolutely beautiful.

"I just wanted to say," Harry began softly, smiling up at him gently, "I know what a private person you are and you're not really given to displays of…well these public sort things…" he trailed off slightly and bit his lip, twisting his hands in his robes. "I just…I don't want you to think that because of what's been happening between us that I expect…that I'm hoping that you will…"

"Harry," Severus interrupted, trying to hide his amusement, "are you trying to tell me that you're not expecting a kiss at midnight?"

Harry blushed and nodded. "Yes, yes that's what I'm saying."

"I see," said Severus as the countdown began. "So you'd be willing to settle for a handshake?"

"Of course."

As the countdown neared its climax, Severus extended a hand towards Harry and the boy took it with a smile that said he had been expecting as much. Just as the crowd chanted down to one, Severus yanked Harry's hand and pulled him into his arms, crushing his lips in a possessive kiss. Harry melted against him, winding his arms around his neck as the kiss deepened instantly, a heat arising between them that had never existed before.

Severus was dimly aware of cheering and clapping in the background as the crowd celebrated the New Year, but as he held Harry tightly against him and kissed him for all he was worth, the rest of the world could have gone to hell as far as he was concerned. Harry was clinging on to him, pulling himself flush against Severus' body as their tongues danced together. One of Severus' hands travelled to tangle itself in Harry's hair while the other settled in a greedy hold in the small of his back.

One of Harry's hands had found its way to the base of his neck and was conducting its practiced ministrations across his skin, sending his senses reeling. Harry's kiss was sensuous and passionate, and Severus felt himself drowning in his husband. He was undone by the overwhelming feeling of how right it was, how much heat they were generating, how perfect Harry felt in his arms. Delicious tension coiled in the pit of his stomach and goosebumps prickled across his skin.

"Severus," Harry whispered against his lips, his voice breathy and full of need, the sound searing through Severus' already fraught nerves. He broke away, still holding Harry firmly in his arms, the sight of his husband with bruised lips and dilated pupils having a decidedly heady effect on him.

"Happy New Year," he said, aware of the slight growl to his voice.

The little imp had the audacity to grin at him. "Happy New Year yourself," he said, biting his lip and not helping the situation in the slightest. The boy had the sheer gall to shift his hips slightly, pressing himself up against Severus' groin.

"Are you trying to drive me mad?" Severus bit out.

"That depends," Harry murmured, "am I succeeding?"

Severus was about to pull Harry back into another kiss to prove just how well he was succeeding when a crowd of people including Ron and Draco made their way over to them to wish them a happy New Year. Severus reluctantly let Harry go, pleased to see the same reluctance in the boy's eyes as well.

Something had changed. That kiss had held all of the tenderness and affection that all their previous, more chaste ones had done, but this time the passion and intensity behind it had been undeniable. As Severus watched Harry as he hugged his friends, a hot blush still on his cheeks and his eyes bright and happy, Severus realised that he was in very serious trouble.

* * *

Severus finished boxing up the batch of potions that were bound for the hospital wing at Hogwarts, sealing the package and writing the address on the box. He wiped his hands on a damp rag and tidied away what little mess he had made. He heard a noise from upstairs and assumed that the sound signalled that Harry was home from the centre.

"Harry?" he called as he made his way up the stairs. "Do you fancy taking a walk down to the pub for something to eat? I thought we could – " he trailed off as he made it into the entrance hall and saw Harry standing there, his face pale and his eyes red. "What's the matter?" he asked, immediately concerned.

Harry paused for a moment, running a hand through his hair before he said, "Lydia's mum died today."

"Oh Harry," Severus said, crossing the hall and gathering him up in his arms. "I'm so sorry."

Harry wrapped his arms around Severus and buried his face in his neck. "Lydia's crushed," he said, his voice broken as he clung on tightly. "The second she heard it was like…all those walls I'd been trying to get her to bring down just shot right back up. She locked herself in her room with a locking spell."

"She's eight," Severus said in disbelief as Harry disentangled himself slightly.

"She's got more power than most adults," Harry said with a sad shake of his head. "In the end I had to call Ron in to take the spells down. I know you wouldn't think it, but he really is a genius when it comes to locking charms…I think it has something to do with growing up with the twins."

Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders and led him into the sitting room. He waved a hand towards the fireplace and flames sprang up, warming the room and casting a cheerful glow around it. They sat down on the sofa and Severus took Harry's hands in his.

"How was she when you left?"

Harry shook his head. "She hadn't said a word. She was just sitting on her bed, staring ahead at nothing. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't drink, she refused to look anyone in the eye. It was like she just retreated into her mind and decided to stay there. I don't know what to do Severus."

"She needs time," Severus said, stroking his thumb back and forth across Harry's hand. "She has to process it, to come to understand it. She's a bright girl, she always knew that this was a possibility, but there's a good chance that she doesn't have any idea how to cope with it."

"I don't know how to help her," Harry said desperately. "How can I make this better for her?"

Severus placed a hand gently on Harry's cheek and said, "You can't, Harry. There is no making this better, there isn't any way that you can take the hurt away from her. All you can give her is time and understanding."

"She looked so broken," Harry said in a whisper. "Something just…died behind her eyes and I just…I wanted so badly to take all that pain away from her."

Severus knew all too well how that felt. Every time he saw Harry hurting all he wanted was to gather the boy up in his arms and make it so nothing would ever hurt him again, to protect him from anything that could possibly cause him harm.

"I know," Severus said softly, "and I wish I could tell you that there was a way to take all this away from her, but there isn't. The only thing you can do is be there for her."

Harry nodded sadly and Severus leant forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. "Why don't you go and have a hot bath and I'll make us something to eat. You look exhausted."

Harry smiled in spite of himself and said, "I bet other people's husbands don't say such lovely things."

"Go, or I'll carry you up there and put you in the tub myself."

"Promises, promises," Harry murmured, pressing a kiss to Severus' lips before he got up and complied with Severus' command.

The two spent a quiet evening together in front of the fire, Harry wrapped up in Severus' arms, lying against his chest as Severus read to him. There was absolutely no need for Severus to read to him anymore, but both seemed to find a measure of comfort in it, and Harry was always soothed by the beautiful timbre of Severus' voice.

Severus loved having Harry in his arms. The contented little sighs that would leave his lips and the way he would stretch himself out whilst at the same time pushing himself up against Severus made Severus' senses blur. It was at times like these that made Severus think of all the times that Harry mentioned the temporary nature of their marriage and something unpleasant would constrict in his chest, causing him to hold on to Harry more tightly than was necessary.

A few days later, Harry went to meet with Hermione for coffee, the girl in need of a break from her studies, and Severus decided, possibly against his better judgement, to pay a visit to the centre. He was shown in, and, after speaking to Hannah Abbot, who was more than aware of he who was after having suffered through seven years with him as a teacher, he made his way to one of the interview rooms and waited for a few minutes until Lydia was brought in.

"Good morning," he said as she came to sit down in front of him looking understandably confused. "I was wondering if you might allow me a few moments of your time."

The girl was pale and her eyes were swollen and red. At least, thought Severus, she had allowed herself to cry, she hadn't been bottling it all up and suppressing her feelings. She said nothing but gave a slight nod of her head, wrapping her arms around herself and looking at Severus with suspicion.

"I'm very sorry to hear the news about your mother, I can only imagine how painful this must be for you." The girl's eyes went to the table in front of her and Severus continued, "I can also imagine how sick you are of hearing people say that." The girl's eyes moved back up to him, eyeing him warily. "It doesn't help to hear what you must view as meaningless platitudes, but people mean well, they're trying to help."

Lydia rolled her eyes but said nothing, her jaw set firm.

"Anyway, I didn't come here today to further irritate you with unwelcome words of comfort. I've come with an offer that I'd like you to consider."

An auburn eyebrow rose questioningly, and Severus could see that the girl was intrigued, despite her efforts to look otherwise.

"I wondered if, given the talents that you have shown when it comes to potions, you would like to receive some one-on-one instruction in the art. Before you decide, I should point out that I have selfish reasons for asking – I have more orders than I can comfortably handle and I would welcome the help of an assistant."

Lydia chewed at her bottom lip for a while before saying in a cracked, slightly raw voice, "You're only doing this because you feel sorry for me, because people have asked you to."

"Miss Featherstone, I assure no one has asked me to do any such thing," Severus said, fixing her with a firm look. "You know a little something about my reputation as a Potions Master, I think. Do you really believe that I would let anyone near my potions that I didn't think had some level of skill and proficiency? I have a standing within the community to maintain that I would not risk for anyone."

Lydia looked somewhat conciliated, her pride soothed by Severus' words. She drummed her fingers on the table for a minute, giving Severus an appraising look. He wasn't used to such scrutiny, especially from a child, and he tried to maintain his composure as she studied him.

"How often?" she asked after a while, her guards still firmly in place.

"Well, I was thinking twice a week to start with, perhaps Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I've spoken to Ms Abbot and she's agreed that we can set up a lab in the disused utility room off from the kitchens. I'll be teaching you the rudimentary basics and we can then build upon that knowledge. From what I've heard, the latent power you hold could do with a little channelling."

The girl shifted in her seat and looked a little uncomfortable. Harry had told Severus of the magical slips Lydia had had in the past, and as someone who had suffered enough of his own as a child, he was aware of how important it was to get a handle on it early on.

"My mother was good at potions," she said quietly after a while. She paused, looking down at her hands and Severus stayed silent, giving the girl the space she needed. "You wouldn't have known her, she was home-schooled, she wasn't very well when she was younger."

"Did she teach you?" Severus asked gently.

Lydia nodded, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "She said I had a gift for it, that I had talent."

"I'm sure you do, and I'm sure you want to make her proud. She'd want to know that although she's not here anymore, you're letting people take care of you. You can't shut people out."

"Why not?" Lydia asked, her voice hard. "She was the only person I've ever had and I've lost her. So now what? I play nice with other people and get to know them only to have them taken away from me too?"

"What makes you think people will be taken away from you?" Severus asked, folding his hands together and placing them on the table in front of him.

"Look where I am," Lydia said with a shrug. "I'm in a children's home, surrounded by people who are only here because they're paid to be here. I have no family, no one who cares and even if there was someone…they could leave tomorrow. Don't you think it's enough that I've lost my mother?" she said, her eyes flashing.

Severus wished he could have argued with the girl, but the rational part of him knew that she was right. He also knew how it felt to have the one person who you thought you would always be there wrenched away from you. He knew how it felt to harden one's heart against the rest of the world in an effort to protect oneself from it, but he also knew that to walk that path meant leaving yourself in danger of a permanently hardened heart, one that perhaps nothing could penetrate. He would not see this girl suffer that fate, not if he could help it.

"You're right to be cautious," he said eventually, and she looked at him in surprise, used to being told by adults that her behaviour was wrong. "Anyone who has lost someone dear to them feels the same way. Loss can be an unbearable burden and one that no one wishes to suffer more than they have to. Sometimes it seems that the safest thing to do is to shut ourselves from away from anyone and anything who can cause us such pain. It is a course of action you can take Lydia, but I would try to warn you against it."

"Why?" Lydia asked, her voice a fragile whisper.

Severus sighed and tried to find an answer that wouldn't render him a hypocrite. "Because it is a wretched and lonely existence. Nothing can hurt you, but nothing can move you either. You end up living a half-life; you eat, and sleep, and breathe, but there's no point to any of it, no joy, no hope. I would not see you waste your life in such a way."

Lydia twined her fingers together and looked down at them in her lap, looking unbearably small and fragile. "I'm frightened," she admitted quietly.

"I know," Severus said, matching her voice. "And in this I'm afraid your intelligence will work against you. Your mind, which is already so sharp, will tell you that the wisest thing is to remove yourself from it all, to shut your emotions down and save yourself from the pain, but it would be a mistake to do so."

He paused, finding such a frank and open conversation difficult, not least of all because it was with a person who was so much like himself. "Lydia," he said gently, "there are people here who care about you, please have the courage to let them."

* * *

After the tense and fraught conversation with Lydia, Severus needed a little time to clear his thoughts. He spent the rest of the day gathering new potions ingredients and equipment that he could use to set up the new lab at the centre. Afterwards, he took himself off for a walk in the countryside around the estate, allowing the biting late January winds to blow the cobwebs from his mind.

He arrived back at the house just as the sun was about to set and the last of the daylight hovered on the horizon. He hung up his cloak and moved into the living room, heading for the drinks tray and pouring himself a much-needed glass of single malt. He took a measured sip, letting it settle on his tongue for a moment before he let it make its way down his throat, savouring the flavours that unfolded on his palate.

He heard a noise behind him and he turned to find Harry leaning on the doorframe, his hands in his pockets, regarding him with an unfamiliar but compelling look in his eyes. Severus was about to ask what the matter was when Harry slowly walked over to him. He plucked the glass from Severus' hands and laid it on the table, then placed his hands either side of Severus' face before pulling him into a deep and intense kiss.

Severus' breath was stripped from him as Harry kissed him soundly, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling himself up against Severus' body. Harry's tongue met his and explored him thoroughly as Severus held him tightly.

Harry broke away as swiftly as he had initiated the kiss, and stood with his hands on Severus' shoulders, his breath uneven, his eyes shining as he searched Severus' face.

"I will never find the words to thank you," he whispered.

"What for?" Severus asked, holding Harry in his arms and letting his hand move back and forth across the small of Harry's back.

Harry's hands moved so that they were caressing Severus' neck and Severus fought to keep himself in check as Harry said, "I didn't go for coffee with Hermione in the end, she was called in to meet with her lecturer. I went to the centre, I was in the adjoining interview room when you spoke to Lydia. There's a two-way mirror, for the children's protection, I heard what you said to her."

Severus felt his cheeks heat. He had never intended for Harry to find out about the conversation he had had with Lydia, nor what had passed between them. "I – " he went to say, but was cut off by Harry saying,

"I didn't think anyone would be able to reach her after her mother died, but you…you were able to speak to something in her, to pull her back to us. I don't know if I'll ever be able to find a way to thank you."

"I require no thanks," Severus said, and he was surprised to find that he meant it. A year ago he would have been milking the situation for all it was worth, making sure that Harry knew just how much gratitude he expected and all but demanding it of him. As he thought of it, he realised that a year ago he wouldn't have taken any action in the first place, he wouldn't have cared about a little girl who was hurting, nor about Harry, whose heart was aching for her.

"What you did was incredible," Harry said softly, the emotion in his eyes nearly undoing Severus. "You're a good man, Severus, and I am so proud to call you my husband."

Severus felt a tight constriction across his chest and his brain seemed to forget the entirety of the English language. He didn't know how to respond to Harry's breath-taking words but luckily Harry seemed to recognise this.

"You looked frozen when you came back in, why don't you go up and get a hot bath and we can have some dinner when you're done."

He placed a quick peck to Severus' lips, then leant forward to touch his forehead against the man's in the tenderest, most intimate gesture Severus had ever experienced. It was in that moment, when he understood that what he had done for Lydia had been perhaps the most pure-intentioned action of his life, that he realised he was completely, unequivocally in love with his husband.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As their relationship intensifies, Severus continues the slow and careful healing process with Harry, whilst also trying to reconcile the errors of the past.

 An Honourable Man Part 3

Severus' potions sessions with Lydia got off to a far better start than he had imagined they would. Unsurprisingly, the girl was a very quick learner, and already knew more than most first or second year students did. He found, for perhaps the first time, that he enjoyed teaching, that he enjoyed imparting all the knowledge he had garnered throughout the years.

There were a few near misses, mostly due to the fact that Lydia believed she already had all the knowledge necessary to complete a perfect mixture. Severus had had to disabuse her of that notion fairly swiftly.

"And now add the sage," Severus instructed as he kept a careful eye on the girl's actions.

"Why sage?" she asked as she swept it off the chopping board and into the bubbling cauldron.

"Because of its restorative properties."

"I haven't seen any recipe for Pepper Up Potion that requires sage," she replied, turning to face him and fixing him with those sharp hazel eyes.

"Which is why every recipe apart from mine is sadly lacking. I guarantee, no version of Pepper Up is as effective as mine."

"If you say so," she said, turning back to the cauldron and missing the glare that was sent her way. "Why does the Bicorn horn have to be powdered?" she asked, peering into the mixture.

"It speeds up the absorption rate and ensures a much better overall clarity. Now how many times should you stir?"

"48," she said confidently. "24 clockwise, 24 counter-clockwise, and it should be brisk but measured."

"Very good. If I'd have had students like you in my classes I might not have hated my job so much," he murmured darkly, earning himself a grin in response.

"Surely there were at least one or two students who made it all worthwhile," came an amused voice from the doorway and they both turned to find Harry standing there, watching them both with a glint in his eye.

Severus raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, Draco and Hermione were excellent students I suppose."

"You rotten old sod," Harry said, moving over and wrapping his arms around him, placing a kiss on his cheek as he did so. "You know full well that I was your favourite."

"It must be interesting in that little fantasy world of yours," Severus said wryly. "It isn't healthy to re-write history you know."

Lydia giggled and finished stirring the potion, indicating for Severus to take a look at the finished product. He did so as best as he could with Harry still wrapped around him and nodded in satisfaction. "Good, now decant it into the bottle and make sure you label it with the name of the potion and today's date in as legible a hand as you can."

Lydia scoffed and said, "My handwriting's neater than yours."

"Your manners still need work, I see," said Harry, settling into Severus' hold and placing a hand on the man's chest.

"If you're hoping Severus will be a good influence in that area then you clearly don't know your husband," said Lydia, doing as she had been instructed and decanting the potion. Harry had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing and Severus glared at the girl, not really knowing why he was bothering, as the action had little to no effect on her.

"A good lesson today?" Harry asked as Severus' hand came to rest on his hip, holding him close.

"Very," said Lydia as she wrote up the label. "I'm a fast learner."

Severus and Harry shared a look of wry amusement and Severus said, "And not remotely over-burdened with false modesty."

"Why should I be modest about something that's true?" Lydia asked, turning to face both men, seemingly genuinely interested in the answer.

Harry gave Severus' waist a gentle squeeze and removed himself slightly from the man as he said, "It's perfectly right to have confidence in your abilities, and to be proud of your strengths, but a little humility is sometimes needed to temper these things."

"You mean so I can make myself seem nicer to other people?" the girl asked, crossing her arms, her defences up.

Harry sighed and scratched at his chin. "It's partly to do with that, yes. People don't like a person who's boastful and arrogant, so sometimes it's worth…softening our edges a little, but…it's for your own good too. Pride can be misplaced sometimes, and it can prevent us from growing as people, and from seeing the qualities that other people possess."

"What do you mean?" asked Lydia, her intelligent eyes narrowing.

"Pride has a way of clouding the vision, it gives you a sense of superiority over others that often means you can miss the good in people. It's perfectly fine to think well of yourself, but not to the detriment of everything else."

Severus listened to Harry's words and wondered at the insight and wisdom of his husband. How had he missed it all these years? How had he never seen until recently the depth and complexity of Harry's mind and heart? _Because you never looked, you never wanted to learn about him_ , came that old familiar voice in the back of his mind.

"Well…that sounds…logical I suppose," said Lydia with a slight shrug.

"It does, doesn't it? Sometimes I even surprise myself," said Harry with a wink, breaking the solemnity of the moment. He turned back to face Severus and said, "Are you ready to go for dinner?"

"Yes, I think we're all done here," Severus replied, checking to see that everything was back in its proper place.

"Oh…you're not staying here for dinner?" Lydia asked, disappointment evident in her face.

Harry and Severus had had plans to spend the evening at the little pub in the village near the estate, as several trips previously had proved it to be a lovely place not only to eat, but to while away a few hours in each other's company. The two men looked at each other and something wordless passed between them as Severus said,

"Well, we could I suppose, no reason not to. Go and get cleaned up and we'll meet you in the dining hall."

Both men were gifted with a rare smile and Lydia trotted off out of the makeshift lab to do as she been had been bid.

"Do you mind?" Harry said, running a hand up and down Severus' arm.

"No," Severus replied, not surprised to find that he was telling the truth.

They joined Lydia in the dining hall a little while later, and both were pleased to find that she was already seated and speaking with a boy a couple of years older than her. Severus recognised him as a 10-year-old called Luke, a boy who was only at the centre on a temporary basis whilst his aunt, his only surviving guardian, recovered from a serious illness. He was cheerful and bright, and reminded Severus very much of the Weasley twins.

"Have you had news of your aunt, Luke?" Harry asked as they took their seats.

"She's getting better, the Healers reckon I might be back with her come Easter. I'm going to visit her next week."

"That's good. If you speak to Hannah I'm sure she'll be able to sort you out some flowers to take to her."

"That's a good idea," said Luke, beaming. "Thanks Harry."

"I've made some Pepper Up Potion," said Lydia. "It's rather good," at this she cast a sideways glance at Harry, then said, "I mean…Severus taught me how to make it really well. I can give you some to give to your aunt if you like?"

"Thanks Lydie, that's really kind, she'll really appreciate it," said Luke warmly.

Severus could see Harry almost swell with pride at the step Lydia had taken, and he had to admit that he himself felt gratified that Lydia had taken it upon herself to reach out to someone else. He couldn't help but worry about the girl sometimes, but between himself and Harry he hoped that they would be of some good to her.

"Oh fab, Shepherd's Pie, my favourite," said Luke with an enthusiastic grin as the dinner was plated up.

Severus and Harry stayed at the centre for a couple of hours, chatting amiably with both Luke and Lydia. Luke was good for the girl; he didn't take offence easily and wasn't put off by what many perceived as prickliness on her part. His easy and open nature encouraged her to talk, and while Severus knew that Lydia still believed herself (probably rightly so) to be cleverer than the other children, she spoke to Luke more easily than she did with the others.

They arrived back at the house a little before nine and as Severus took a seat on the sofa, he watched as Harry stood by the fire and spoke about how proud he was of Lydia. The firelight illuminated Harry's delicate bone structure and the flickers danced in his eyes as he spoke. He was so animated, brought alive by his topic and the feeling with which he held it. Severus could hardly believe that the man before him was the same person who had stood across from him all those months ago as Dumbledore had bound them together.

Severus was entranced, captivated by the man as he laughed and spoke. He knew he should have been paying greater attention to the words that Harry was saying, but his attention was wholly taken up with studying the beauty of his husband's face. Before he fully realised what he was doing, he had risen from his seat and moved to Harry's side, taking him in his arms and kissing him with such force that he nearly surprised himself.

Harry's arms were around his neck in seconds and his breath hitched as it was robbed from him with Severus' intensity. Severus pulled him up against him, holding him as close as he possibly could, plundering his mouth greedily and feeling a hot coil of desire form in the pit of his stomach. He was in danger of taking things too far, of becoming so aroused by the pliant body in his arms that he forgot himself. He started to pull away but Harry gripped his shoulders tightly and murmured,

"Please don't stop."

"Harry, we don't have to, there isn't any need – "

"Oh yes there is," Harry all but purred. He grabbed one of Severus' hands and guided it downwards to the front of his trousers, closing his eyes with a moan as the man's palm moved across his erection. "Please Severus," he whispered, tilting his hips to push himself further up into Severus' hand.

Severus stroked the hardness he could feel through Harry's trousers and Harry bit his bottom lip and opened his eyes, and Severus knew he was lost. There was no pulling back from this, no way of pretending he couldn't see the raw, unfettered look of need in Harry's eyes. He held on to Harry and apparated them both to Harry's bedroom; he was in no mood to be navigating the stairs.

A casual wave of his hand and the candles in the room sprang to life, bathing it in a warm, inviting glow. Harry smiled at him, and the soft expression undid him. He lowered his head and met Harry in another kiss, running his hands up and down the boy's lean sides. He moved to press a line of kisses to Harry's jaw then lowered his lips to Harry's neck, enjoying the sound of Harry's breathing becoming harsh and ragged as he did so.

His fingers went to the buttons on Harry's shirt and he felt Harry tense slightly, knowing the reason for it. He pulled back from Harry's throat and met his eyes as he murmured softly, "You have nothing to be ashamed of." He began to slowly undo the buttons, holding Harry's gaze as he did so. He slid the shirt from Harry's shoulders, the boy's torso bathed in candlelight, each scar and mark standing harshly against the pale skin they marred.

He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to the burn mark that stretched across Harry's collarbone, then moved to kiss the black spiderweb of veins that lay a little to the left of Harry's heart. He moved Harry gently backwards and lowered him to the bed, then continued to kiss each and every wound that Harry had suffered. Harry moaned softly at the tender ministrations and Severus took his time to worship every inch of his husband's skin, feeling the body beneath him tremble with desire.

His hands moved to Harry's trousers and he raised his head to meet Harry's eyes, whispering softly, "We stop any time you say so." Harry nodded, and the look in his eyes told Severus that that wouldn't be a concern any time soon. He removed his own shirt, gratified by the appreciative look that crossed Harry's face, then moved to unzip Harry's trousers. He pulled them and the boy's underwear down and threw them out of the way, pausing to take in the sight of Harry lying naked before him.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, and Harry blushed with an embarrassed but pleased smile. He captured Harry's lips in a deep, possessive kiss and allowed one hand to travel down Harry's body, pleased by the strength and muscle he felt beneath his palm. He lowered his hand until it closed around Harry's erection and Harry groaned against his lips as Severus began to stroke him firmly.

He moved his lips to Harry's throat once more and was rewarded by a beautifully breathy sigh, obviously having found a weak spot. He teased it with his tongue and teeth as he stroked Harry, then moved his mouth back down Harry's torso, across his stomach and down to a hip bone. This too seemed to be a sensitive spot and Harry practically hummed with pleasure as Severus lavished attention on his skin.

He moved through the thatch of dark hair then closed his mouth around Harry's erection. Harry arched up from the bed, his hands gripping the bedsheets as Severus tore the most beautiful sounds from his lips. He engulfed Harry in warm wetness and took him to the back of his throat as Harry cried out his name. Despite the many things Julius had whispered in his ears over the years, the debauched, base words that had been said to him with the purpose of titillating and tantalising him, nothing had ever been as intensely erotic to him as hearing his own name wrenched from Harry in pleasure-filled sighs.

He used his tongue to torment Harry mercilessly, one hand matching the rhythm of his mouth around Harry's cock, the other cupping his balls and massaging gently. "Oh God," Harry breathed writhing under Severus touches. "Severus please, I need…I need…"

Severus raised his head and saw the look of raw need in Harry's eyes, the sight making his already painfully hard erection even harder. He held out his hand and said, "Accio lubricant," and his own vial came winging from his room into his outstretched palm.

"You're not…you're not using the spell?" Harry asked breathlessly, and Severus felt his heart hurt at the question. He had been so dispassionate with Harry in all their other times together, so cold and cruel in their encounters, that it shamed him to think of it. Harry deserved to be cherished, to be worshipped, not taken without thought or consideration.

"No," he said softly, "not this time, Harry."

He poured the oil into his palm and coated his fingers liberally. He moved them gently to Harry's entrance and stroked carefully, enticing the hot ring of muscle to his bidding. He held Harry's gaze as he slowly slipped one long finger inside him, followed by a second as Harry relaxed around him. He moved his fingers in and out gently, eventually insinuating a third when he felt Harry was ready. He worked to carefully stretch and prepare him, and with a well-placed crook of his fingers, Harry cried out and threw his head back against the pillow, his face a study in pleasure.

He removed his fingers and moved to finally divest himself of his own restrictive trousers and underwear, chucking them off the bed and out of the way. He poured a little more oil into his hand and slicked his erection well. He positioned himself between Harry's legs and lifted the boy's hips a little to give himself better access. He nudged at Harry's entrance, and after a small nod from Harry, he eased his way slowly inside.

Harry looked up at him with a gaze full of intensity as he fully sheathed himself and Severus felt his body shudder as he was surrounded by Harry's tight body. He leant forward as he began to thrust, and he and Harry began to breathe in heavy tandem as a rhythm was found. Harry gripped his shoulders tightly as he arched up to meet every thrust and Severus lowered his head to once again attack Harry's throat. He angled his thrusts a little differently and Harry cried out as he clenched down around Severus.

Severus felt his senses blur, he could think only of the man in his arms, the legs that were wrapped around his waist, urging him forward into the willing body. Never in his life had he ever made love to another person, never had he taken such time and care to worship the body beneath his own. He had never loved another person, never cared for another more than himself, but as he continued to move inside Harry, he knew his heart belonged to the man.

He thrust hard and deep, Harry keening beneath him, and he reached a hand down to grip Harry's erection. He made several sure strokes and Harry arched off the bed, uttering a loud moan as he came hard. After a few more thrusts, Severus felt his own body stiffen as his orgasm ripped through him and he came deep inside Harry. He came back to himself slowly, out of breath and boneless, and saw that Harry had turned his head into the pillow, tears slowly being squeezed from the corner of his closed eyes.

"Harry," he said, overtaken with concern. He withdrew from Harry's body carefully and murmured a quick _Scourgify_ before shifting to Harry's side. "Harry are you ok, did I hurt you?"

Harry turned to face him, his eyes shining. "No," he whispered. "That was…I didn't know that it could be like that…That was…beautiful," he said breathlessly.

Severus pulled Harry to him and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. Harry's hand came up to caress his cheek and he looked down into his husband's eyes, unable to believe the gift he had been granted. He wanted to tell Harry how he felt, to let the man know how much he meant to him, but the intensity of the moment overwhelmed him and all he could do was pull Harry into his arms and hold him tightly.

* * *

Severus woke wrapped around Harry, both men on their sides with Harry pulled firmly up against Severus' chest. He had never known such a feeling of contentment or peace and he pulled Harry a little closer, breathing in the scent of his hair.

"Morning," came Harry's sleepy voice, the smile evident in his speech.

"Good morning," Severus whispered, giving in and moving his lips to the column of vulnerable flesh that was Harry's neck.

Harry writhed in pleasure and tilted his head to give Severus better access, emitting a soft moan as he did so. "I love that," he said breathily, and Severus laughed softly.

"I had noticed," he murmured against Harry's soft skin. He ran a hand up and down Harry's arm and Harry shivered as he suppressed a slight giggle.

"That tickles."

"You shouldn't put information like that in my hands," Severus muttered darkly.

Harry turned around in his arms and positioned himself underneath Severus, tilting his hips up to rock his erection against Severus'. "I like being in your hands," he said with a grin before he slid a hand up to Severus' neck and pulled him down into a kiss. He arched his body up and Severus moaned at the contact, finding that he had quickly become addicted to the feeling of having Harry beneath him.

"I owe you a little payback for last night," Harry said with a wicked smile as he rolled his hips.

"Harry," Severus said softly, his attention caught by the word 'owe'. "You know that I don't…I don't expect anything from you, you never have to feel – "

Harry gently placed a finger to his lips and then moved his hand to rest on Severus' cheek. "I know," he said, his expression open and soft. "Severus, I have never felt safer or more protected than when I'm with you, and being in your arms is…indescribable…but in this room, when we're together like this…I need to just be your husband. I don't want to be a victim or a rape survivor, I don't want to feel that you're second guessing yourself every time you touch me. Trust me, if I need things to stop, I'll say so, but unless that happens I don't want you holding back or treating me like I'm made of glass."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I appreciate you looking out for me, and I love how safe I feel when I'm with you…I love how I feel underneath you," he added with a grin, pressing himself up against Severus' body.

"Brat," Severus growled and before he had time to register it, Harry reversed their positions and pinned Severus to the bed, taking his breath away with a sweeping kiss. He didn't have time to react before Harry tore his lips away and started attacking his throat before moving down to his chest. Harry was surer in his attentions than Severus had imagined he would be and his hands moved in delicious tandem with his mouth.

Severus closed his eyes as Harry teased the skin over his ribs and moved lower to his stomach. When the man's hand came to close over his erection he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. Despite the many, many times this had been done for him over the years, it had never felt like this. He had never shared a bed with anyone he felt a connection to, and as Harry lowered his head to take his erection into his mouth, he couldn't stop the deep moan that left his lips.

He twined a hand through Harry's hair, unable to stop the arch of his hips upwards to meet the sinful mouth that was doing its best to drive him crazy. Harry's tongue was making obscene movements around the head of his cock and his hand gripped Harry's hair tightly as the man took him all the way to the back of his throat.

"Oh God Harry," he muttered as Harry built up a delicious rhythm with both his hand and his mouth. He writhed with pleasure, his toes quite literally curling as Harry worked his attack. The black head bobbed up and down, confident and sure in its movements, humming now and again as Harry found his own pleasure in what he was doing.

"Harry if you don't stop – "

Harry broke his actions only long enough to look up at Severus with a feral glint in his eye, saying, "I have no intention of stopping."

He lowered his head once again and took Severus all the way to the back of his throat once more, and continued to do so, cupping Severus' balls and rolling them against his palm. He was utterly merciless and Severus had no opportunity to gather his thoughts or to try and hold himself back. The hot wetness of Harry's mouth was beautiful, and the pace he had built was sensuous enough to tease but measured enough to ensure that completion was not far off.

Severus bit down hard on his lip and Harry used his free hand to pin Severus' hips to the mattress in a delectable show of control that left Severus reeling. Harry sucked hard and moved up and down more quickly, and Severus felt himself being pulled towards the edge. A few more deft strokes from Harry's tongue and that was it, he released himself down his husband's throat and threw his head back on the pillow as the world went white behind his eyelids.

His breathing was ragged and when he opened his eyes Harry was smirking up at him, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"I thought I'd better start your day with something that put a smile on your face, seeing as we're due at Ron and Draco's for lunch."

"Kindly refrain from mentioning their names in our bedroom again, thank you very much," Severus drawled and Harry came to settle himself against his chest.

"Our bedroom?" Harry said, smiling against Severus' skin. "This is _my_ bedroom, Professor. Unless of course, you'd care to join to me in it more often?"

Severus smiled and held him close. "As often as you'll let me. Now, I believe we had better see to you Mr Potter, I don't want to be accused of being a neglectful husband."

* * *

Severus sat in the little garden of Ron and Draco's Hogsmeade home as they all enjoyed the unusually warm weather that the Sunday afternoon in late February provided. They had all finished a particularly good Sunday roast, Ron proving that he had inherited his mother's talent for cooking and her need to feed people until they were full to burst.

"I found a couple of books I think Lydia might enjoy," said Hermione as she sipped at her coffee. "They're fiction, but from the sounds of it she could do with reading a little more for pleasure rather than study."

"Hark who's talking," said Ron with a grin. "What was the last book you picked up that wasn't to further your knowledge?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and smacked his hand out of the way as he tried to relieve her of the biscuit that rested upon her saucer.

"It's much appreciated, thanks 'Mione," said Harry with a smile. "I'll give them to her tomorrow."

"How are the lessons going?" Hermione asked Severus and he and Harry exchanged a look.

"She's an incredibly quick learner, and it's good for her to have something to focus her energies on. I'll admit that it's also quite nice to have some help with the less complicated orders that I have to fulfil."

"Anything not to pay someone a wage eh?" said Draco with an amused quirk of his eyebrow as he settled on the wicker sofa next to Ron, cuddling in to the man's side.

"Actually," said Severus, smoothing his robes out, "I've set up an account at Gringotts for just such a purpose. I've calculated the worth of Lydia's assistance and I deposit an amount each week in the account. It will be there for her when she turns 17."

He felt Harry's eyes on him and he turned to look at his husband, who was regarding him with an oddly intense look. "You did that?" he asked softly.

"It seemed only fair," said Severus with a shrug. "I would have paid an assistant, had I found one, and I find it hard to believe that I could have employed anyone with more sense or competency than Lydia possesses."

Harry looked as though he might burst with pride and Severus found the alien look that was being sent his way a little disconcerting. The man reached over and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before he seemed to realise that they were in the presence of others.

Apparently thinking that Severus would not want to be so accosted in public, he went to remove his hand, only for Severus to wrap his fingers around it raise it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, then holding the hand in his lap. Harry beamed at him, and he couldn't believe that such a simple gesture could make the man so happy.

He knew the others were watching, and he turned to face them, his expression daring them to make a comment. None came, however, and with a knowing smile, Ron turned his attention to Hermione and asked, "So how are those assignments going? You were pretty fed up with them last week when we spoke."

Hermione sighed and the conversation turned to her school work as she complained about the lack of co-ordination from the departments when it came to handing out assignments. She had several projects, all lengthy and involving, that had been given and were due in at the same time. She was seriously over-worked but was thriving nevertheless.

The afternoon continued pleasantly, and Severus was again surprised to find how much he enjoyed the company of the two former Gryffindors. Ron had a sharp sense of humour that he had never noticed throughout his years at Hogwarts and several of his witty comments had rendered Severus deeply amused throughout the afternoon.

The sun faded and took its warmth with it, forcing the group to retreat back into the cottage. It was a lovely little place, and Ron and Draco had worked hard to make it a home that they were proud of. It had been falling apart when they had bought it, but with Draco's inheritance poured into the centre, it was all they could afford. Ron's brothers had been invaluable with the time and skill they had lent to the endeavour, and it was clear how proud Ron and Draco were of their little palace.

Ron and Harry were involved in a game of wizard's chess that Harry was very obviously losing, and Hermione was perched on the arm of Harry's chair, trying to offer a little helpful advice every now again. Unfortunately, Hermione had even less talent for the game than Harry did, resulting in Harry saying in a voice of measured annoyance,

"'Mione, I love you but seriously, keep your advice to yourself."

Severus smirked and took the glass of wine that Draco held out to him as he took a seat on the sofa next to him.

"Harry seems fully recovered from the curse now," said the blond as he settled himself.

Severus nodded and said, "He's much better. He still tires easily if he does too much but I try to prevent him from doing so."

"Mm, you watch him very closely," said Draco with a smile. "You…you've been good for him," he said softly and Severus turned his attention from the chess game to the man sitting next to him.

"It is I who have benefitted from him," he said, all thoughts of pride and concealment of his feelings vanishing when speaking of Harry.

"And yet, without you he would have had to stay in the hospital, and it would have killed him. Now here he is, looking healthier than he's done in months, smiling and laughing…and here you are…"

"Here I am what?" Severus asked, feeling a little defensive.

Draco had the audacity to grin at him, then said, "Here you are, holding his hand in public, smiling at him, looking at him as though the world begins and ends with him."

"Don't be so ridiculous," Severus groused, taking a large drink of his wine.

"I never thought I'd see you like this about anyone, let alone Harry."

"Like what?" Severus asked, wishing for all the world that Draco would spontaneously combust.

Draco cast a look over to Ron and Harry to make sure they were sufficiently immersed in the game before turning back to Severus and lowering his voice to say, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Severus wanted to deny it, to laugh in Draco's face and scoff at the pronouncement that had been said with such certainty, but how could he when it was the truth? He looked down at the wine glass in his hand and felt his cheeks heat. "Don't say anything to him," he said eventually, his voice low.

Draco emitted a soft laugh and Severus looked up at him questioningly. "As if I would, I wouldn't rob Harry of hearing it from your own lips." He paused, looking closely at Severus before saying, "You _are_ going to tell him, aren't you?"

"I don't know," Severus admitted.

"Why wouldn't you?" Draco asked, shifting his body to look at Severus better.

Severus sighed and said, "I have no idea how I'd even go about it…or even if my declaration would be welcome."

Draco rolled his eyes and said, "For someone so intelligent, you can be remarkably thick sometimes." Severus glared at him in affront, but Draco didn't look remotely apologetic. "You can't be that blind, surely?" the blond asked incredulously.

"I don't know what you mean," Severus replied, feeling cut adrift in this strange conversation.

"I sometimes forget that for all your work as a spy, all your years on this earth, you still know very little about people."

Severus bristled at the tone of condescension in Draco's voice and had half a mind to smack the knowing smirk from the boy's face.

"Don't you see the way he looks at you?" Draco asked softly. "Don't you see how his face lights up whenever you enter a room? He's head over heels for you, you daft old sod," Draco said with an exasperated shake of his head.

"You can't know that," Severus argued.

"Yes I bloody well can," Draco countered assuredly. "The last couple of years…I've got to know Harry pretty well, I've come to care for him very deeply, and I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."

Draco sighed and looked down at his hands for a moment, then looked up to fix Severus with such a sharp look the man nearly recoiled from it. "I was worried when he married you, and I'm not going to say that you didn't deserve the smack in the face I gave you, but I was wrong in some of things I said."

Severus gave a sad shake of his head and said, "No you weren't. You said nothing that I didn't deserve. The way I treated him was…unforgivable, and I think I shall spend the rest of my life atoning for it, but…to have been given the opportunity to do so is…not something that I shall cast aside lightly."

"I believe you," Draco said with a gentle smile. "Ron and I…we've been so worried about him, we love him and we just want him to be happy. We…we did urge him to tell you, before you were married, but he wouldn't hear of it, he wouldn't let us say anything. He was just so ashamed, so heartbroken by it all, he said he just couldn't bear for you to know. Perhaps it wasn't fair to you…"

Severus waved his hand and shook his head. "It doesn't excuse my behaviour, nor my blindness. I could see he was hurting," he said, his voice catching as he relived the memories of those early days, "I could see he wasn't well and I just…I didn't care," he said, disgusted by his own admission. "How could I not care about him?" he asked, his black eyes fierce. "How could I be so cruel?"

Draco's expression was pained as he looked at Severus and Severus knew he wouldn't like the answer. "Because that's who you were," Draco said bluntly. "You were a cruel bastard who thought of no one but himself. Someone else's pain, no matter how palpable, was of no consequence to you. It took something momentous to alter that," he added with a slight quirk of his lips.

Severus sighed and said, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

Draco nodded, something so sage in his expression that Severus was suddenly reminded of Dumbledore. "That is something that only your conscience can allow, but you should know that some redemption lies in what's happened since."

Severus arched a questioning eyebrow at Draco and the blond continued, "You brought Harry home from the hospital, cared for him, tended to him, even asked Ron for help because you thought it would benefit Harry. You've proven that you can act selflessly where Harry's concerned, that you can put his happiness and wellbeing above your own. I think perhaps it's time you went a little easier on yourself."

Severus sat and let Draco's words sink in, pulled only from his reverie by Ron's triumphant shout from the other side of the room. He turned his attention to see Harry smiling ruefully while Hermione patted him on the shoulder, saying, "He's no match for us, Harry. We should know that by now."

Harry nodded and said, "He's ruthless, an absolute bastard."

"He can hear you," said Ron in amusement, tidying up the chessboard.

Harry got up and made his way over to the sofa, Draco obligingly moving along so Harry could sit next to Severus. Severus wrapped an arm around him and pulled him to his side, as he had witnessed Ron do with Draco on so many occasions. It was such a simple gesture, such an easy thing to do, but as Harry inclined his head slightly to look up at him, the smile Harry gifted him with made it seem as though Severus had offered him a kidney.

Such a little thing, Severus mused as he held Harry close and buried his nose in the thick black hair beneath him, and yet it made Harry so happy. He could do this, he could give this to Harry, he was the only one who could. He kissed the head beneath his chin and knew that if he had ever had a chance at redemption, this was it.

Later that night, Severus took Harry in his arms and took his time worshipping the beautiful body that was so willingly given to him. He made love to his husband slowly, lavishing all the care and attention on the healing man that he so deserved. He caressed and stroked, kissed and teased, ensuring that Harry crested on wave after wave of pleasure.

Green eyes looked up at him in wonder, filling Severus with such a feeling of humility that it took his breath away. He moved within the body that writhed underneath him, lost in the heady sense of being so utterly connected to another person in a way that he had never been in his life before. He was in his forties, and yet he had never loved another person the way he loved Harry.

He lost himself as Harry called his name, urging him deeper, hooking his legs around his waist and drawing him in as far as he could go. He wanted to do this for the rest of his life, but as much as Draco had assured him that Harry felt the same way, their marriage was temporary and would be over in a few months. Would Harry stay when his life no longer depended upon it?

He came hard, shuddering his release inside Harry, then settled himself into the bed as Harry quickly dozed off, a content smile playing about his lips. He nestled in behind him, wrapping his arms around the man's chest and pulling him close. He breathed in the scent of Harry's hair and twined his limbs around the slightly shorter ones, praying that when the time came, Harry wouldn't choose to leave him.

* * *

Severus double checked that everything was back in its assigned place and found that, unsurprisingly, Lydia had seen that everything was more organised than he'd have thought possible. She was utterly meticulous, and Severus had joked that the need to mould her in his own image was entirely unnecessary; the girl was already most of the way there.

He had had yet another successful brewing session with his young protégée, and had been left feeling more impressed than usual as the girl had mastered a potion that many of his 7th years had struggled with. She had a fierce intellect and reminded him in many ways of Hermione. It was clear though that friendship with Ron and Harry had ensured that Hermione lost a great deal of the intensity that plagued Lydia and had made her more receptive to the thoughts and feelings of others.

Hermione had begun to pay weekly visits to the centre under the guise of getting to grips with child protection laws for her studies, but Severus was willing to bet that the former know-it-all wanted to come and learn more about the girl that they all spoke of so often. She had spent time speaking with Lydia, and Severus had thought that it had done the girl good to have the kind of female influence that Hermione could bring, along with her formidable intelligence and love of learning.

There were others at the centre that responded to Hermione, and she went to great pains to try and give her time generously to anyone that sought her out. Ron too visited when he could, often to support Draco, but it was clear that Ron absolutely adored children, and they, in turn, couldn't get enough of the boisterous and friendly red-head who came up with fascinating games and could produce sweets and chocolate at the drop of a hat.

Severus had to admit, grudgingly mind, that he himself was becoming rather fond of his husband's best friend. He had always written Ron off as the lame duck of the Golden Trio, a person that the brains and the hero tolerated because he was a good friend when all was said and done, but that he had really amounted to no more than that. Severus had to admit that he had been sorely mistaken. Ron was an intelligent man, astute and perceptive and with an uncanny ability to read people. His blue eyes missed nothing and very often, Severus had learnt that while Ron was apparently busy playing the fool, he was instead busy taking every little detail of the situation in and judging it accordingly.

Ever since their little talk in the library when Ron had offered Severus his hand, something had changed between the two of them. Ron was warm and welcoming each time they met, and he had even begun to tease Severus in ways that not even Draco, after their long association, would venture to do. Merlin help him, but he actually found himself looking to Ron as a sort of example for the kind of partner he wished to be, the kind of partner that Harry deserved.

Ron was easy and open with his affections; he had even pulled Severus into a hug or two, much to the amusement of everyone who had been present on each occasion. He loved Draco openly and with no hint of embarrassment or shame. He made the entire world aware that Draco meant more to him than anything ever could, and Severus was acutely aware of how much those interactions affected Harry and of the look that would settle in his features whenever he watched the two men.

"I think Lydie may actually be tidier than you," came a gentle voice from behind him and before he could turn to respond, a pair of familiar arms slid around his waist and he felt Harry rise on his tip-toes to press a kiss to the base of his neck. "Sorry I took so long, meeting ran over longer than I expected."

Severus turned around in Harry's arms and met his husband with a soft kiss, before saying, "Not a problem, our session went on longer than expected also."

"Ah, there's a definite glint in your eye. What did she do this time?"

Severus couldn't quite hide his smirk as he said, "She made a perfect Draught of Peace."

Harry's eyes widened and he replied, "No, really? That's advanced stuff."

Severus nodded and carelessly brushed the hair from Harry's forehead, finding the adorable look of Harry with hair falling in his eyes far too distracting to be able to continue a conversation with the man in such a state. "I think perhaps we might do well to speak to the current Potions Professor at Hogwarts. Lydia will be attending in a couple of years and she won't be served by attending first year classes in the subject."

"Well, that shouldn't be too difficult, given that the current incumbent is one of your former Slytherins."

"Oh?" asked Severus with an arch of his eyebrow. That was news to him, although in fairness he had largely ignored everything that had happened at the school since his departure.

"Mm, Blaise took the job last September."

"I didn't realise you were on first name terms," Severus said, and Harry grinned at the possessive tone he could read in the man's voice.

"He's been seeing Hermione…on a somewhat tentative basis from what I can gather. I think they're fairly well suited actually," he added with the tilt of his head that sent an inexplicable fire to the pit of Severus' stomach. Why did every bloody gesture that his husband make send his senses reeling? "Shall I ask Hermione to broach the subject with him?"

"That would be a sensible course of action."

Harry smiled and wound his arms around Severus' neck, pulling himself level with the man's ear and saying in a low whisper, "You have no idea what it does to me when you get possessive. Honestly, if we weren't at the centre, I'd be showing you just how…affected I am," Harry said, pressing his very obvious erection into Severus' hip.

"You fight dirty," Severus growled.

"I was almost a Slytherin, remember. Now there's a thought," Harry murmured, pulling back slightly to meet Severus' glittering eyes. "You as my Head of House, me coming to speak to you about my confusing teenage feelings…asking you, begging you, to do something about them."

Severus eyes widened in surprise and he gripped Harry tightly by the waist as he said, "I had no idea you harboured such fantasies."

Harry's eyes darkened, clouded by lust, as he said, "I bet I have my old school robes somewhere. I'd just love to give them an airing."

"That can be arranged, Mr Potter."

Harry closed his eyes with a moan and leant in closer, "Oh God, let's skip Diagon Alley and go straight home."

Severus chuckled softly and said, "As _immensely_ tempting as that idea is, I have ingredients I must procure today, and you have a meeting to attend. However," he added, keeping a firm hold on his husband just as the man was about to pull away, "I would very much like to hear a little more about any other fantasies you might wish to share."

Harry turned an adorably endearing shade of red and smiled shyly up at Severus, his dark hair falling slightly in his eyes as he did so in a way that made Severus want to forget all rules of propriety and throw the young man in his arms onto the work surface behind them.

"Well," Harry said, the same shy smile still playing around his lips, placing his hands on Severus' chest as the man held him tightly by the hips, "I don't know…I'm not…I don't have much experience but perhaps…being blindfolded might be quite interesting," Harry said, picking imaginary fluff from Severus' robes as his blush intensified.

Severus had never found anything quite so irresistible in his whole life and he had never felt the heady mix of affection and desire that he felt merging inside him at that moment. "That could easily be arranged," he murmured, and Harry's eyes met his, bright and vibrant.

"Yeah?" he asked, a little hesitant but obviously intrigued by the prospect.

"Anything you want, _anything_ ," Severus said, his voice low but gentle, letting Harry know that with him he could be entirely open, that he was safe, and that Severus would do whatever he could to make him happy.

Harry smiled and let out a plaintive little sigh before saying, "You're set on going to Diagon Alley then?"

Severus laughed softly and said, "I'm afraid so…but we have a whole evening ahead of us."

Harry wound his arms around Severus' neck and pulled himself up tightly against the man's body, then whispered softly, "Off we go then, but I intend to make sure you keep your promises, Professor."

Severus reluctantly apparated them to Diagon Alley, and they set about their separate tasks, Severus to the apothecary and to a couple of low-key suppliers in Knockturn Alley, Harry to meet with a potential employee for the centre, whom he was meeting for an informal chat in a little coffee shop.

Severus was on his way to the Leaky Cauldron to wait for Harry to finish up and meet him, his mind helpfully providing him with all sorts of ideas for the things that they might be able to get up to when they got home, when he felt a hand on his arm and heard his name falling from very familiar lips. He stopped in his tracks and felt his stomach lurch unpleasantly as he turned to find himself face to face with Julius.

"Well, this is an unexpected pleasure," the man drawled, and Severus suppressed a shudder at the thought that he had once found the noise sensual.

"Julius, you must forgive me, but I don't have the time to talk."

A blond eyebrow arched, and a cat-like smile spread across the cupid's bow mouth that Severus had once been so familiar with. "Surely you have five minutes to spare for an old friend?" the man asked smoothly.

"My apologies, but I'm due to meet my husband." The word was said before he could stop himself, so used as he was to thinking of Harry in such terms, but he knew he had made a mistake using the title in Julius' presence.

"Husband?" the man repeated, his pale eyes glittering. "I hadn't thought to hear you claim him as such, given how…contemptuous you were of the union when we last spoke."

"As I said Julius, I haven't the time to speak."

Severus turned his back on the man and went to continue on his way, but Julius grabbed his arm and halted his steps.

"Nearly a year of marriage and already you've been brought to heel? I never thought I would see the day."

Severus bristled at the man's tone and reluctantly turned back around to face him. "Things have changed Julius, and as you are perfectly aware, our arrangement has long since ended."

A nasty smile spread across Julius' face and Severus felt a deep sense of shame wash over him that he had ever been so blind as to compare Harry to this sorry excuse of a man. "And how have you been coping since? How have your plans played out to exercise your marital rights?"

"That really is none of your business," Severus replied, his voice cold, holding a warning that he was sure Julius wouldn't heed.

"Tell me Severus, I'm dying to know, just how did the boy measure up?"

"Julius…" Severus growled.

"I've thought of you many times over the last few months. I've wondered how on earth a man with your…tastes, your proclivities, could be surviving with such a chaste, innocent little flower. But then, perhaps I'm being unfair to our dear hero, perhaps he's worth a tumble or two?"

Severus felt the bile rising in his throat and he shook himself free of Julius' hold, fixing the man with an acid stare that he was gratified to see the man falter slightly under. "I would advise you to keep your tongue in your head where Harry is concerned," he said, his voice low, hating that he had to speak of the man he loved with this person.

"It seems he's measured up more than you expected then?" Julius asked, the sneer plainly evident in his coldly handsome features. "You haven't found yourself itching to come back to me? To place yourself in my hands and let me tease and torment you into writhing pleasure? Does he know any good tricks, your boy? Is he really so good that he's made you forget all the delicious things I used to do you?"

Severus' jaw clenched tightly, and he marvelled at his self-control that he hadn't ripped the foul little snake's head from his shoulders. He was all too aware that they were in a crowded street and that his reputation, though healed somewhat after his part in the war, was still delicate enough that a public brawl wouldn't aid it.

"Julius, I will say this once, and I expect to be heeded," Severus said, stepping forward and pushing the man back up against the wall. He felt his pulse quicken, and it sickened him to think that he had ever slept with the creature before him, that he had ever compared his beautiful husband to such a loathsome man.

"Our arrangement is well and truly ended, never to be resurrected. I will never be in need of your services again and you will not come near me in the future. You will never mention my husband's name and you will certainly never speak of him the way you have just done. Do I make myself clear?"

Julius paused for a moment, his eyes flashing angrily, but he wasn't foolish enough to pit himself against Severus. He emitted an inelegant snort and shook his head in disdain. "Who would have thought it? The great Severus Snape, a man who could make whores blush, defending his perfect little Gryffindor husband. You'll be back Severus, whatever you say. Potter won't keep you satisfied forever, you know it and so do I."

"Get out of my sight," Severus snarled, feeling his control starting to slip. Julius cast one last contemptuous look up and down the length of Severus' body then pushed Severus out of the way and strolled off down the street with all the practiced elegance he had employed over the years.

Severus was shaking with anger and he knew he had to calm himself down before he met with Harry; the last thing he wanted was for the man to see him in this state, let alone having to explain the reason behind it. He slipped into the bookshop for a few minutes, thankful that it was relatively empty and that he could skulk in the shadows of one of the less popular sections. He took time to slow his breathing down, to bring himself under control and remind himself that Julius was not worth getting so het up over.

He stayed for a good fifteen minutes, trying to bring his own feelings of self-loathing under control. He had slept with that man so many times, they knew each other's bodies intimately, yet it was as though Julius was a stranger. There was none of the closeness that he shared with Harry, none of the warmth and affection, and he had never once taken Julius in his arms and made love to him as he had done with Harry.

Julius had been nothing more than the consequence of a need, a means of assuaging something raw and physical, something that Severus had once believed was all he needed. His time with Harry and his love for the man had shown him how wrong he was, and all he felt now was a deep sense of shame that he had once lamented Julius' loss in the wake of his marriage.

When he had sufficiently recovered himself, he made his way to the Leaky Cauldron, thinking of nothing but how much he wanted to be curled up in front of the fire with Harry in his arms, breathing in the beautifully familiar scent of the man. He found Harry sitting at a table near the back, staring down at the knotted old wood and twisting a beer mat in his fingers. He looked preoccupied and the frown that had settled between his brows was an alien expression on his usually gentle face.

"Are you all done?" Severus asked him, and the man looked up with a look of slight surprise, as if he hadn't registered Severus' presence in the first place.

"Yes, yes all done," he replied quietly with a small nod.

"Do you want to get something to eat or would you rather wait til we get home?"

"No, no let's just go home. I'm not really very hungry."

He stood up and headed for the fireplace, not bothering to cast a look back as he went and before Severus could blink, he had grabbed a pinch of powder and disappeared into the flames. Severus frowned, troubled by Harry's behaviour and followed his husband quickly into the flames.

"Prince Estate," he barked as he chucked the floo powder in, emerging seconds later in his own sitting room.

Harry was dusting the soot from his clothing, the same troubling look of preoccupation on his face and Severus began searching his mind for any answer that would explain this sudden unusual behaviour.

"Is something the matter?" he asked, deciding the direct approach was best.

"No," Harry said quietly.

"Did your meeting not go well?" Severus ventured, reaching for any explanation he could think of.

"It was fine, she was really nice, I think she'll be a welcome addition to the centre," Harry replied and Severus' heart sank as he saw Harry wrap his arms around himself in a gesture he hadn't seen for months.

"Harry – "

"I have a banging headache, I think I'm just going to go and get some sleep."

"Harry – "

"I'll see you in the morning."

Severus was left standing alone in the living room as Harry made a swift exit. He hadn't felt this wretched when it came to his husband in a long time and he had no idea what to do. Harry had very definitely made it clear that Severus wouldn't be welcome in his room at any point during the night, and the thought of not being able to fall asleep wrapped around the man was a deeply unpleasant one.

He couldn't fathom what was wrong with his husband, and he was deeply concerned that something had happened to bring back all those traumatic memories that Harry had tried so hard to bury. Had he met someone in Diagon Alley that had brought everything back up to the surface? Had he heard some news of the miserable excuses for human beings who had been responsible for his torture?

That didn't make sense; if anything like had have happened Harry would have sought him out immediately for comfort, he would be confiding in him, wrapping his arms around him and telling him everything. He felt certain enough of their relationship to trust that Harry felt close enough to him to do that, so surely that couldn't be the cause for the troubled look that wouldn't leave the man's face?

He spent a lonely evening pretending to read in front of the fire in the library, hoping that he would hear Harry's soft footsteps on the stairs and that the man would poke his head around the door, ready to talk and unburden himself to Severus as he snuggled into him on the sofa. It didn't happen, and eventually he trudged miserably up to his own room, casting a look at the closed door of Harry's bedroom, wishing it would open and that Harry would come and talk to him.

He didn't sleep well. In a very short time he had grown used to falling asleep with Harry in his arms, and lying alone in his big, empty bed was not conducive to a restful night. He lay awake glaring up the canopy of the bed he hadn't slept in for so long, hating feeling so wretched and wishing that he could think of a solution to solve the hideous situation.

He gave up his farcical attempts at sleeping eventually and trudged down to the kitchen, sitting at the large table with his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee, trying to find comfort in its warmth. He watched the sunrise with a feeling of abject bitterness, cursing the cheerful birdsong that accompanied it.

Finally he heard Harry make his way down the stairs and he braced himself, hoping that the new day would have helped to alter his husband's state of mind.

"Morning," Harry said quietly as he shuffled into the room, and as Severus looked up at him and took in the pale face and dark circles under his eyes, he guessed that the man had had about as much sleep as he had.

"Do you want some coffee?" he offered.

Harry shook his head and said, "I'm due in early at the centre, we have an assessor coming in and I want to help Drake and Hannah set up."

"Harry," Severus said with a sigh, "can we talk before you go?"

"I'm sorry, I really don't have the time," Harry replied, and Severus was greatly disconcerted by the fact that the man was doing his best to avoid his eyes. "I don't know what time I'll be back tonight, this assessment thing might run on quite late so…I'll see you when I get back."

He leant down and placed a kiss to Severus' cheek, but it was absent the usual warmth that the gesture held. Severus felt his heart sink and he wanted nothing more than to pull Harry close to him and go back to the way they had been less than 24 hours ago, but all he could do was watch as the man drifted out into the hallway and apparated away.

He had never felt so far away from his husband. It had been months now since he had first felt a sense of connection to Harry and ever since they had made love for the first time, Severus had felt as though he was closer to Harry than anyone else in the world. Now there was a horrible sense of distance, and he would do anything to banish it.

With a resigned sigh he got up and made his way into the sitting room, casting a look at the clock on the mantlepiece and hoping that it was still early enough to catch the person he needed. He chucked a pinch of floo powder into the flames and said clearly,

"Ron Weasley." He paused for a moment as he was connected to Ron's cottage, his head bobbing in the flames, then called out, "Ron, Ron are you here?"

He heard a couple of noises from somewhere in the cottage, then the red-head appeared in front of him, buttoning the cuffs of his shirt, frowning as he said, "Severus, is something the matter?"

"Do you have a moment to spare before you get to work?"

"Of course, stand back, I'll come through."

Severus did as instructed and within seconds Ron stepped through the fireplace with a surprising amount of grace.

"You look terrible," he said bluntly.

"Thank you," Severus said with a glare. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"What's happened?" Ron said, and Severus was gratified to note that the man's tone seemed to hold no accusation.

Severus sighed and said, "I honestly don't know. We went to Diagon Alley yesterday and when we came back…something was different."

Ron frowned and said, "How do you mean?"

Severus raked a tired hand through his hair and said, "He was quiet, closed off, the same as he was when we were first married. He just…went straight up to bed as soon as we got home and wouldn't say a thing to me. This morning he scurried out of here so fast it was as though he was determined not to be around me for a minute longer than he had to. I don't know what to do," he finished, hating how desperate he sounded, but needing to find some resolution to the situation.

"Did something happen in Diagon Alley? Did he meet someone that could have…raked up old memories?"

"I don't think so, I think he would have told me if he had. He…talks to me about these things, he tells me when things get too much for him."

Ron nodded, smiling slightly as he did so. "I know," he said gently, "he told me. You've been really good for him."

"Evidently not good enough or he'd be telling me what's wrong now. How can I fix this?"

"Severus you can't take everything on your shoulders. Not everything is yours to fix. We don't even know what the problem is yet, but I don't think pushing Harry to talk is a good idea. I think you need to give him a bit of space, let him work through whatever it is and hope that when he does, he comes to you."

"But what if he doesn't?" Severus asked, feeling suddenly hopeless. "What if he closes in on himself and I…I lose him," he finished, the word so quiet it seemed to fizzle into the ether.

He felt two large hands settle on his shoulders and he looked up to meet gentle blue eyes that held such kindness. "Severus," he said softly, "I know all this is new to you and honestly I think you're doing rather well under the circumstances, but you can't seriously tell me that you believe for one minute that you could lose Harry?"

Severus shrugged miserably and said, "It's bound to happen some time."

"Don't be so foolish," Ron chided gently. "You know as well as I do that he's in love with you…just as you are with him."

Severus stomach lurched to hear it said so plainly and all his insecurities came flooding to the surface. He had never loved another person, he didn't really know how to, and he had certainly never _been_ loved by another. Life was a hell of a lot easier when he had had only himself to worry about and hadn't been kept awake worrying about another person's welfare.

"Look, I'll try and take a bit of long lunch today and see if I can catch him at the centre. I'll have a word and see if I can find out what's bothering him."

Severus nodded, feeling somewhat relieved, and said, "Don't let on that you've spoken to me."

Ron snorted and said, "Why does everyone think that I'm incapable of subtlety?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed. "You Slytherins, so bloody pompous." He sighed, then said, "I'd better go or I'll be late for work. Try not to spend the whole day worrying, I'm sure Harry will tell you what's wrong and…it'll all turn out to be nothing."

Severus nodded, although he was in no way convinced by Ron's comforting words. Still, at least he had an ally, and that was something he supposed. Ron gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze then disappeared back through the flames and off to begin his day.

It was all well and good for Ron to tell him not to worry but he had no idea how he was supposed to do that. He spent the whole day trying to distract himself, especially around 1 o'clock when he imagined that Ron was meeting with Harry, trying to prize some information out of him, trying to get him to talk. Would Ron come and tell him if he found out, he wondered, or would Harry swear him to secrecy?

He was racked with frustration and by the time the evening rolled around he was a nervous wreck. He hadn't been able to focus enough to make any potions effectively and he had simply rattled around the house, becoming more agitated by the second. He practically jumped out of his skin when he heard the soft pop of Harry apparating back into the manor.

It was later than Harry usually returned from the centre, and Severus hated to think that the man had been avoiding him. He was about to go and confront the issue head on and meet Harry in the hallway when Harry shuffled into the sitting room, looking just as tired as he felt.

"You sent Ron after me?" he asked, folding his arms as he came to stand in front of the fire.

"I – "

"He really did his best to be subtle, but he has a lot to learn. You'd have been better sending Draco; it still would have been obvious but not quite as bad."

"I was worried about you, I still am!"

"Doesn't give you the right to set my friends on me."

"Then will you please talk to me so I don't have to? Harry what's happened? Yesterday everything was fine, now you won't come near me."

Harry sighed and unclasped his cloak, removing it from his shoulders and chucking it over the nearby armchair. He fixed Severus with a resigned look and Severus could see that the man was not happy about what he had to say.

"I overheard you yesterday…speaking to…that man," Harry said eventually and Severus' blood ran cold as he realised what Harry was talking about. He was trying to think of something to say when Harry said in harsh whisper, "How could I have been so stupid?"

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked with a frown.

"I feel like such a fool," he said, and Severus wished he could decipher the strange turn the conversation has taken. "I didn't realise what I had made you give up when we married, and what I have consigned you to since."

"I don't understand what you're saying," Severus said, rising to his feet and standing next to Harry. The man moved away slightly, his arms wrapped around his torso, his face drawn.

"I must be a pale shadow by comparison," he said, the bitterness heavy in his voice.

"You are _no_ comparison to that man," Severus said firmly, and Harry let out an unnatural bark of laughter.

"Oh I can well believe it! What was it he said, how can you be surviving with such a chaste, innocent flower?"

"Harry – "

"God you must have been miserable all this time, giving up a man who could 'tease and torment you into writhing pleasure', going from having him in your bed…to me," Harry said, his lip curling in disgust as he referred to himself. "What was it he said of you? You were a man who could make whores blush and yet here you are, shackled to this pathetic shell of a man who is the most bland, uninspiring partner you ever had the misfortune of sharing a bed with. I see now where your words came from."

Severus felt the blow of having his own words thrown back at him hit him like a punch to the stomach. He cursed himself for ever having said them, wishing he could go back and alter the moment it had happened.

"Harry do you honestly believe that I could hold Julius anywhere near you in my mind?"

"No," Harry said, a nasty smile on his lips, "I believe the two of us could not be further apart. How could I stand anywhere near him? The things the two of you must have done together…the ways he must have pleased you. God, to think what I was saying to you yesterday at the centre, you must have been rolling your eyes at my tame little fantasies, thinking how they paled next to all the things you and Julius must have experienced."

"Harry, Julius was…a long time ago. He was nothing more than a means to an end."

"One you had to give up for me."

"One I have not thought of for a long time now."

"How can that be the truth?" Harry shouted, a heated tinge appearing on his cheeks. "I saw him, he was…gorgeous! And I'm sure what he doesn't know about sex isn't worth knowing. Instead you have to make do with me."

"Harry, Julius is a sex worker for Merlin's sake! Of course he knows…how to please, but you must believe me when I say that he means nothing to me, nor ever did."

"But he was right – I won't be able to keep you satisfied and sooner or later you'll go back to him."

Severus was horrified by what Harry was saying. "You can't honestly believe that?" he asked quietly. "Do you really believe that there is any force in this world that would see me choose him over you?"

"He can give you everything I can't! I can't compare to him!"

"You can't compare to him because I was never in love with him!" Severus shouted before he could stop himself. He saw the shock register in Harry's face, and he wished it could have been said at a different time, under a different circumstance, but it had been done now and he was determined that his husband would be left in no uncertainty as to his feelings.

He moved forward and in sure and certain movements, placed his hands either side of Harry's face and met the man's stunned gaze openly and without artifice. "You must listen to me," he implored. "You cannot compare yourself to any other in my eyes. I am in love with you, powerfully, painfully in love with you, and that is a state that none other can claim. I have never loved anyone in my life before, and everything has now been altered by that."

Harry was silent, his eyes still wide with disbelief. Severus moved his thumb over Harry's cheekbone, caressing the soft skin beneath it. "Whatever I might have shared with Julius in the past is nothing compared to what I share with you. Harry, I have never made love to another person, I have never held someone in my arms while they slept and woke up next to them the next day. You are…you are everything to me," he whispered, hating that he was making himself so vulnerable, leaving himself open to exposure in such a way, but Harry had to know.

The man looked stunned and Severus sighed, wishing he had more experience in these matters, wishing he knew how to handle his fragile emotions and those of his husband, who was still so damaged when it came to matters of the heart. "Can't you feel it when I hold you?" he asked softly. "Harry…nothing I have ever done in my past, with Julius or any other, comes close to making love to you, nothing – "

He was stopped from saying anything further by Harry surging forward and crushing their lips together, pulling himself up against him and holding on for dear life. He was being kissed in a way that Harry had never kissed him before, indeed no one had ever kissed him that way before – as though the world began and ended with him, as though they had to kiss him or else the sky would fall down upon their heads.

He hadn't realised how close they were to the wall until Harry backed himself up against it and Severus found himself pressed impossibly closely to his husband's body, one thigh between the man's legs, a very obvious sign of arousal pressing against him.

Harry's hands went to his shirt and he felt a tingle of magic sweep over him as the buttons flew open and the shirt was wrenched from his body. Another tingle of magic and the rest of his clothing, along with Harry's were vanished entirely. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how powerful his husband really was, his strength so often hidden underneath his gentle nature.

Harry pulled them both to the floor, and there was something hungry and predatory about the way his hands roved over Severus' body. He kissed Severus deeply, lining his body up with the man's so their erections brushed with delightful friction. Severus arched up to meet Harry's body, revelling in the strength and warmth that he felt pinning him down. Harry broke away and looked down at him, his breathing ragged and his green eyes alive with a look that Severus hadn't seen before.

Harry's lips descended to his throat then down across his collarbones, his hands following the path that his kisses made. He was relentless, determined, and in that moment, Severus understood that he was being claimed. He could think of nothing sweeter than to let himself be. Harry's hot mouth closed over his aching erection, and he emitted a low groan as one of Harry's hands held him at the base, gripping him firmly while Harry's tongue worked wonders.

Harry's movements were sure and insistent, the sensations he was creating driving Severus slowly insane. Harry's free hand moved to cup his balls and Severus' threw his head back involuntarily as Harry's thorough ministrations pushed him to the edge of his senses. He had never been this passive during sex before, but putting himself in Harry's control was oddly liberating and immensely arousing.

Harry stopped using his mouth long enough to shout forcefully, "Accio lubricant," as he held out his hand, and within seconds, the well-used vial had winged its way down the stairs and into Harry's waiting hand. He uncorked it and coated his hand and fingers in the viscous stuff, then sat back on his heels slightly and reached back and began to prepare himself.

He held Severus' gaze firmly as he did so and Severus had never witnessed anything quite so erotic in his whole life. There was a fire in his husband's eyes, something hungry and passionate, and Severus felt a shiver of anticipation run through him. Harry moaned as he worked his fingers inside himself, biting his lip as he began moving his body up and down to aid his task.

"This doesn't even compare to having you inside me," Harry told him, his voice low, a beautifully dangerous edge to it that Severus hadn't heard before. "Nothing compares to that, _nothing_." Before Severus could reply, Harry had removed his fingers and straddled Severus' lap, positioning himself over the man's straining erection. He looked Severus dead in the eye as he slow lowered himself down until Severus was fully sheathed inside him, dragging a heavy moan from both men.

"Oh yes," Harry said breathily, and Severus gripped hold of the man's hips as he started to move, setting a beautifully paced rhythm as his muscles held Severus tightly inside him. He leant forward, the new angle apparently a marked improvement for both of them as Harry let out a gasp of pleasure and Severus groaned,

"Fuck yes, just like that."

Harry moved surely, supporting himself on strong arms as his hips rolled forwards and backwards. Severus could feel Harry's hard prick caught between their two bodies and he arched his back slightly to increase the friction, earning himself a delighted gasp from Harry as he did so. The pace sped up and Severus could feel himself drawing to completion, the hot coil in his stomach tightening almost painfully. Harry cried out with a heartfelt moan and Severus felt his torso covered in Harry's release, before finally giving in to his own, allowing himself the unusual action of emitting his own delicious groan of pleasure as he came hard in Harry's willing body.

Harry fell forward slightly, his forehead resting on Severus' collarbone, his breathing harsh. Severus reached up and stroked Harry's hair gently, turning his head to press a kiss to Harry's temple. "That was amazing," he whispered.

Harry laughed softly and raised his head to meet Severus' eyes. "Apparently I have something of a possessive streak."

"Fine by me," Severus told him, "especially if it induces you to these kinds of displays."

Harry smiled and murmured a quick _Scourgify_ as he moved and Severus' spent prick slid from him. He shifted himself to Severus' side and lay down beside him, tucking himself into the man's arm and winding one of his legs around Severus' own.

"Did you mean it?" Harry asked, his voice quiet, but Severus was able to hear the vulnerability it held.

"Harry, I've never meant anything more in my entire life."

Harry levered himself up so he was looking down at Severus once more, and Severus knew he was being studied, that Harry was searching his face for any signs of artifice. "You do know, don't you?"

"Know what, Harry?" Severus asked gently, needing to hear it from Harry himself, finding that Ron and Draco's assurances just weren't enough.

Harry blushed slightly and the dominant, passionate man from merely moments before disappeared, replaced with the gentle and shy Harry that Severus was used to. "I'm in love with you too…I have been for some time now."

Severus reached up and wrapped a firm but gentle hand around the back of Harry's neck and pulled him down into a deep, intense kiss. He poured everything he could into that kiss, everything he felt for Harry, everything he felt he still had to make up for. He wasn't sure what he had ever done to find himself blessed with such luck, but he was damn sure that he wasn't going to do anything to see it torn away from him.


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Harry find a way to deal with the past whilst looking to the future.

An Honourable Man Part 4

The weather was warm as Harry and Severus strolled languidly through the grounds of the centre, the sounds of laughter and children playing floating alongside them as they walked. It was Easter weekend and the centre was holding yet another fundraiser that was also doubling up as function to draw prospective parents with a view to enticing them to adopt.

They joined Ron, Draco and Hermione, who were standing watching several of the events taking place, Ron taking great delight in the sponge throwing contest and doing his best to convince Draco to sacrifice himself and volunteer to be the next target.

"I am co-founder of this place my love, I don't think it would sit too well with the trustees," Draco argued.

"Bollocks, you're just chicken."

"Why don't you offer yourself up then?"

"Excuse me, but I have already officiated the egg and spoon race, given out prizes for best Easter bonnet and let a contingent of five-year-olds use me as a climbing frame. I've done my bit."

"The kids do love you," Draco said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around the man's waist. "When can we start having lots and lots of babies?"

Ron laughed and drew Draco in closer, saying, "When we have more than two pennies to rub together. And if you think I'm being the head of a family of seven like my poor father, you can think again."

"Oh come on," said Draco, and Harry and Hermione exchanged amused glances, "can't you just imagine us with a brood of kids, all strawberry-blond with my cheekbones and your eyes? We'd make beautiful children."

"All in good time my impatient little lunatic," said Ron, pressing a kiss to the side of Draco's head.

Harry leant in close to Severus and whispered with a smirk, "100 galleons says they become parents by this time next year."

"I'm not stupid enough to take that bet," Severus replied, and Harry had to mask his snort as Ron looked at him questioningly.

The Easter egg hunt started, and the assembled adults watched as the children were handed their baskets and began to scavenge around the pretty little orchard, trying to find the chocolate eggs that Harry and Draco had themselves hidden there that very morning.

Harry watched them all with a smile and Severus couldn't stop himself from winding his arms around his husband's waist and pulling him back against his chest. Harry sighed happily and ran his hand along the arms that held him. Severus was all too aware that Ron and Draco were looking at them as though they were proud parents, and he shot them a glare, which was met only by widening grins.

"Hi sweetie," said Hermione as Lydia joined them, "aren't you doing the egg hunt?"

"No, didn't feel like it," said Lydia with a shrug.

"Well," said Ron, kneeling down in front of her, "there are other ways of getting chocolate eggs," he said, reaching behind her ear and producing a golden-wrapped egg. Harry had expected her to roll her eyes in disdain, but it seemed that even Lydia wasn't immune to Ron's charms, and she accepted the chocolate with a smile and the smallest hint of a blush.

"Are you having a good time, Lydie?" Harry asked, and the girl made a non-committal noise as she looked at the children roaming around the orchard.

"As much as I can while we're all here having to prostitute ourselves at this ridiculous event."

Harry's eyes widened and the adults all exchanged glances of mingled shock and consternation. Harry extricated himself from Severus arms and moved over to Lydia, saying, "Lydie, what do you mean by that?"

The girl sighed and said, "Oh come on Harry, we all know why you're having this function today, all these people here to look at us as though we were owls on display in Diagon Alley. Well, maybe some of the kids will get lucky and get to go home with a shiny new family."

Harry took a deep breath then looked across the others, saying, "Guys, Lydie and I are going to go for a little walk."

"Oh good, here comes the lecture," said Lydia as Harry placed an arm round her shoulders and led her off down the hill.

Ron sighed and folded his arms as he watched them go. "Still not letting her guards down then?"

"Some days are better than others," said Severus as they all moved to sit at a nearby table. "She's too bloody smart for her own good, and she resents almost everything that she perceives as a move to aiding her."

"It's not uncommon for a child in her situation to behave the way she does," Hermione said. "She's angry and hurt, and as you say, she's an intelligent girl. Sometimes intelligence can be a barrier."

"You'd know," said Ron, nudging her knee gently.

Hermione smiled and said, "I don't think I was ever as smart as she is. I shudder to think what she'll be like by the time she gets to Hogwarts."

The four adults stayed out in the warm spring sunshine talking for another hour and Severus was surprised to find that he was just as comfortable with Ron, Draco and Hermione as he was when Harry was there to act as a buffer. Eventually, Draco had to resume his duties as host and soon fell to charming the Ministry officials as he was so adept at doing, roping Hermione in to bully the more stubborn ones.

Harry, too, was soon mingling with the people present, and Severus watched him, wondering if his conversation with Lydia had been successful. The girl herself was nowhere to be seen, and Severus hoped that she wasn't alone her room sulking as she was so disposed to doing.

"So, you and Harry seem to have…worked things out," Ron said with a barely suppressed grin as he and Severus sat alone.

"Mind your own business," Severus told him, only serving to make the man grin even more.

"Are you aware that the two of you can barely keep your hands off each other?"

"Seriously, mind your own business or I'll go and tell Draco that you've changed your mind and want to have all those 16 babies in the next few months."

Ron laughed and said, "Draco will get whatever he wants, I can't say no to him."

"That's more information than I ever need to know."

Ron smiled and stretched his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankles. "Seriously though, everything…everything's ok with you both?"

Severus felt his cheeks heat slightly and although he dearly wished to tell Ron to go and take a running jump into the lake, he felt that he owed Ron after all the support he had given him. "We…talked things over," he said, looking down at his hands. A thought occurred to him and he frowned, saying, "Ron?"

The red-head looked over at him and said, "Mm?"

Severus continued to stare down at his hands, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. "Harry and I will only be married for four more months and I…I can't reconcile myself to it."

Whatever Severus might have been expecting from Ron in the way of a response, it certainly wasn't the heartfelt laugh that was directed his way. He looked up at Ron with a frown and the man shook his head at him, saying,

"You can't really be that dense, can you? I mean blimey Severus, I knew you were a little…backwards in matters of the heart, but honestly!"

"What are you talking about?" Severus asked, feeling yet again as though he had walked into a conversation that he had no idea how to handle.

Ron snorted and pulled himself up so he was sitting upright and fixed Severus with his unwavering blue eyes. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but judging by the severe case of googly-eyes the two of you seem to have come down with, I'd be willing to bet that the L word has been broached?"

Severus couldn't bring himself to answer, merely nodded tersely in reply.

"Well then," Ron continued, looking far too pleased with himself, "do you really believe that come July, Harry is going to want to go anywhere? He's completely in love with you, he's a different person to the one that walked back into your life a year ago and that's thanks to you!"

"I nearly destroyed him, Ron," Severus said, hating to admit it, but knowing it was the truth.

"No you didn't," Ron said firmly. "You were a bit of bastard, that is undeniable, but all that's happened since has been…well I still can't really believe it."

Ron tilted his head to look to where Harry and Draco were standing with a crowd of people, Harry obviously in the middle of telling a very animated story, his face lit up with a smile, everyone standing near him laughing along with him.

"I never thought I'd see Harry smile like that again, I never thought I'd see him laugh or see him looking so healthy but here he is, and we have you to thank for it."

"I think you're giving me a little too much credit."

"When are you going to cut yourself some slack? Severus, I'm all for you making penance for the way you treated Harry when you were first married, but I think you've more than done that now. You've given Harry a life that he didn't know was possible, you've shown him affection and love, you nursed him back to health for Merlin's sake! I never thought you would have been capable and yet here we are. You might not want to hear this, and I can't believe I'm about to say it given that I endured seven years of torture from you, but you're a good man, and I'm happy you're the one that Harry ended up with."

Severus looked at Ron as though he had grown an extra head and said, "How can that possibly be? Who would want their best friend to end up with me of all people?"

"You of all people?" Ron echoed. "You mean the person who worked for years as a spy for Dumbledore, risking his life on more than one occasion to provide information that we would have lost the war without? A man who protected Harry for all the years he was at Hogwarts despite your own personal feelings on the matter? You may not have always been the nicest of men Severus, but you were always an honourable one."

Severus shook his head and said quietly, "An honourable man would have known what horrors his husband had suffered before he married him, an honourable man would have never demanded access to his husband's body the way I did."

"Seriously, this self-flagellation needs to stop. I'm not saying that what you did was right, but what you've done since – "

"What? Makes up for it?"

Ron sighed and said, "Would you look at your husband?"

Severus did as he was told and looked across the lawn to where Harry stood. He was now a healthy weight, he had colour in his cheeks and his eyes shone. He slept through the night these days, Severus knew because he spent night after night wrapped around the man, and the estate, which had once been lonely and hollow, now was filled with laughter and warmth. He loved Harry more than he was capable of expressing, and he although it was the most sickly sentimental thought he had ever had, his love had been responsible for restoring Harry.

"I don't know that Harry would be as well as he is today if he hadn't married you. Now, do you really think that he has any intention of going anywhere when this marriage is up?"

"I don't know," said Severus honestly.

Ron reached out and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, saying, "Then why don't you ask him and find out?"

* * *

Severus stood in the library, gazing out of the French windows, his hands clasped behind his back as he gazed out onto the gardens. It was a beautiful spring day, although Severus wasn't really able to appreciate it. His stomach was in knots and his mouth felt dry, and he felt ridiculous for the state he was in. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even know that Harry had entered the room until a familiar pair of arms slid around his waist and Harry murmured in his ear,

"I don't like waking up alone, especially when I wake up needing a little…morning pick-me-up."

"Sorry," Severus said with a smile, "I was restless, I didn't want to wake you."

"I wouldn't have minded, especially if you'd have woken me up the way you did the other morning."

"You're insatiable," Severus replied.

"And you're too good at what you do," Harry said with a laugh against his neck.

He turned around and found himself looking down at an adorably sleep-ruffled version of husband, his hair messier than usual and his eyes bleary. He ran his hand through the black hair and Harry leant into the touch with a sleepy smile.

"So why are you up so early?" he asked, winding his arms round Severus' neck and pulling himself upwards to press a quick peck to the man's lips.

"Well, I actually had a little something on my mind."

"Oh?" said Harry, looking at him with concern. "Is something wrong?"

Severus shook his head and said, "No, no not wrong. Do you know what day today is?"

Harry paused and frowned in thought for a moment. "Saturday?"

Severus smiled and said, "I meant the date."

"Oh…um…it's the 23rd of March isn't it?"

Severus nodded and waited for Harry to catch on, giving him a little leeway as he had just woken up. Realisation suddenly dawned on Harry's face and he said, "It's our wedding anniversary. You…you remembered?"

"Well…I know when we were married that things…weren't as they are now, and I don't exactly have a celebration planned…but I do have something that I would like to give you."

Harry graced him with beautiful smile and his chest tightened to see it. "Really?" he asked, biting his lip.

Severus nodded and led him over to the sofa, indicating for him to sit down while he moved over to the little bureau in the corner and retrieved a folder from it. He presented it to Harry and sat down next to him as Harry gave him a questioning look. He indicated for Harry to open it and the man did so, scanning the papers that he pulled out and studying them.

"I don't understand," Harry said, looking back up to him.

"It's the deeds to this place. I've had your name added to them. I know how much you love the estate, I know how much you love living here and from here on out, half of it belongs to you."

"Oh my God," Harry said breathlessly, his face a picture of disbelief. "Severus…I…I don't know what to say, this is incredible. Are you…are you sure?"

"Of course. You made this place a home, you brought it back to life, you have as much of a claim on it as I do."

"I'm so touched," Harry said, and Severus could see that he meant it. "This is…this is the most amazing thing that anyone's ever done for me. I love this place and I love you. Thank you so much."

Severus smiled as Harry continued to look down at the deeds, biting his lip and shaking his head in happy disbelief.

"There is a second part," said Severus, feeling his pulse quicken as he said it. This was the part that had seen him have a restless night's sleep, the part that had made his stomach flip uncomfortably whenever he thought about it.

"Severus, this is more than enough," Harry said, looking up at him.

"I wanted to give you the deeds before I asked you what I'm about to ask you, so that you would know that this place will always be yours, whatever happens, whatever…decision you make."

"Decision?" Harry asked, looking at him questioningly.

Severus took a deep breath and tried to get his nerves under control. It was ridiculous, he thought contemptuously. He had faced Death Eaters and Voldemort for Merlin's sake, he had seen and done things that would give most people nightmares and yet here he was, feeling more afraid than he had ever done in his entire life.

"Harry," he began, knowing his voice sounded like a boy on the cusp of puberty and hating himself for it. "As you know…our marriage will be over when you turn 21 in July."

A pained look came over Harry's face and he nodded, looking down and running his hands over the deeds in his lap. The look bolstered Severus' confidence and he felt that maybe he would get the answer he was so hoping for.

"I don't know how you feel about the situation…but…I find it to be…unacceptable." Harry's head shot back up again and he looked at Severus with a guardedly questioning look. "Harry, the thought of our marriage ending is one that I can't reconcile myself to. I love you," he said, his voice catching slightly, "and I wondered if perhaps…you would wish to…extend our marriage…indefinitely."

Harry's eyes widened and he clutched the deeds to his chest. "Severus," he said, his voice little more than a whisper, "are you asking me to marry you?"

Severus steeled himself and mentally told himself to pull himself together. This was too important to mess up. "Yes Harry, yes I am."

Tears swam in Harry's eyes and he pressed a hand to his mouth as he stared at Severus, clearly trying to process everything he had just heard. Severus wanted to tell him to just get on and answer him, to put him out of his misery one way or another, but he wouldn't take this moment away from Harry, he wouldn't push him.

"Do you mean it?" he whispered against his fingers and Severus couldn't help but emit a soft laugh in response.

"Do you really think I would ask you if I didn't? Harry, I can't begin to imagine going back to a life without you in it, I can't imagine waking up without you in my arms and going back to rattling about this place in my own. I want you here with me, I want to share a life with you, to sit out on the patio and drink coffee in the mornings and curl up in front of the fire with you in the evenings. I want to make love to you and hold you and kiss you, I want to share your triumphs and comfort you during your lows. I want to be your husband," he finished, his voice finding its certainty once more as he took Harry's hand and held it in his lap.

Harry's face broke out into the most beautiful smile that Severus had ever seen, and he couldn't believe it was him who was the beneficiary of such a striking expression. Harry leant forward and slowly pressed his lips to Severus' before insinuating himself into the man's lap and holding on tightly, pulling himself up against Severus' body.

"You're not getting away with not giving me a proper answer," Severus said as Harry moved to tease his lips along Severus' throat.

"Of course my answer is yes," Harry murmured against Severus' skin and Severus couldn't stop his own smile from spreading across his face. "And it had better be before my birthday, I don't want to spend a single day not being your husband."

"So demanding, is that what I've saddled myself with?"

"Yes Professor," Harry whispered, pulling back to look at him, green eyes gleaming, a delicious grin on his face, "I'm afraid you're saddled with me for the rest of your life."

* * *

"I am so happy for you both!" Hermione all but squealed as she pulled them both into yet another hug, much to Severus' consternation. "This is such wonderful news," she said as she released them, stepping back to stand with Ron and Draco, who had also been overly-demonstrative in their congratulations. Severus was ready to hex all three of them into oblivion.

They were all gathered in the sitting room of the Prince estate, Harry and Severus having invited them over for dinner to apprise them of the situation. The news had been met with cheers of delight and much congratulating, and Draco had disappeared for a couple of minutes before re-appearing with a few bottles of sinfully expensive champagne, ones that he had taken from Malfoy Manor before he had sold the place to the first bidder.

"Have you picked a date?" Ron asked as Kreacher entered with a tray of champagne flutes, placing them on the table as Draco set about liberating the cork from one of the bottles and filling the glasses with practiced expertise.

Severus pulled Harry to his side as Harry answered, "The day before my birthday, but we want it to be more of a renewal of our vows and for Dumbledore to extend the magic that he originally used to marry us. We'd like to keep our original wedding date, as that was when it all started, the ceremony will really be a way of ensuring that we stay married."

"We will be having a honeymoon though," Severus said with a slight smirk. "All that ridiculous money that Harry insisted on transferring each month for his 'keep' is going to be put to good use. I'm going to match it with my own and we're going spend a couple of weeks touring Scandinavia."

Severus could hardly believe that he had once planned to use that money for a session of debauchery with Julius, and he was determined that instead it would be used giving Harry the best honeymoon that money could buy.

"After the renewal it won't be my money and your money anymore," Harry said softly, and Severus placed a kiss to the top of his head as he held him close.

"Seriously?" Draco said in amazement as he handed them both a glass of champagne.

Severus nodded as he took his and said, "We're opening up a new Gringotts account and pooling all our money. Harry's name has been added to the deeds of this place and he's insisting that mine will be added to Grimmauld Place."

"Bloody hell," said Draco, sounding an awful lot like his red-headed counterpart. "I never thought I would see the day that you would willingly share your money with another person."

"You never thought you'd see the day that I'd be a happily married man," he said, and Draco tipped his own glass in recognition of the fact.

"It's not going to be a big do, just us and the three of you, and Lydie…if she agrees to come," said Harry, taking a sip and saluting Draco with his glass to honour Draco's fine choice.

"Oh she'll be so touched," said Hermione, "she absolutely adores the two of you."

The fire sputtered suddenly and Kingsley's handsome face appeared, as his deep voice said, "Harry, Severus, I'm so sorry to interrupt, but would it be possible for me to come through and have a quick word with you?"

Harry and Severus exchanged a look and Severus said, "Of course Kingsley."

The man stepped through the flames and into the sitting room, then, taking note of the glasses in everyone's hands, said, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise I would be intruding upon a celebration."

"It's alright," said Harry with a gentle smile, "we were just toasting the fact that Severus and I will be continuing our marriage."

Kingsley offered his own smile and said, "I'm truly very pleased for both of you, please accept my congratulations."

"What was it you needed to speak with us about, Kingsley?" Severus said, his worry beginning to grow. It wasn't like Kingsley to make house calls.

"Perhaps we should conduct this conversation in private?" Kingsley replied, casting a look towards the others.

"It's ok," Harry said softly, "whatever you have to say, you can say in front of them, we have no secrets."

Kingsley nodded, his expression sombre. "Harry, as you know, we have Evan Rosier in custody after we caught him when he cursed you. Since then, he has given up the names and whereabouts of the remaining Death Eaters and, as of an hour ago, we now have them all in custody."

"What's this got to do with me?" Harry asked, and Severus wrapped a protective arm around the boy's waist, holding him close.

"Now that we have them all, the Ministry is eager to take them all to trial for their crimes…including the crimes they perpetrated against you whilst you were held captive. We…we need your consent to charge and try them, and we would need you to speak for the prosecution in court."

Harry was silent for a moment, a deep frown between his brows and his eyes worried. He took a couple of deep breaths and said, "Would…would all the details of my time in captivity have to be known?"

Kingsley nodded reluctantly and said, "The court would have to hear everything. We would of course insist on it being a closed trial, but under the news transparency laws, anyone would have a right to place an enquiry regarding the trial and would have every right to the transcripts. I don't doubt that any journalist worth their salt would do so."

"Then…then everything would come out, everything they did to me…everything that happened?"

"Yes, yes it would. We already have their confessions of…what happened during your time with them."

Harry visibly paled and he clung on to Severus tightly. "Then you know?" he whispered. "Other people do too?"

Kingsley looked immensely uncomfortable as he said, "Yes Harry, I'm afraid I do. I can do little but offer my most sincere apologies for what you had to endure."

"Um, Kings?" Ron said, stepping forward and placing himself between Harry and the man. "Why don't you give Harry some time to think about it? We'll…we'll be in touch with you in the next couple of days."

Sensing that Ron was gently trying to guide him to leave, Kingsley nodded and said, "Very well. Harry, you don't have to do anything. We have enough to convict them for all the other crimes they've perpetrated, but it's up to you if you feel that you want or need justice for what happened to you. The choice is yours and yours alone."

He stepped back into the flames and disappeared, leaving the room in silence behind him. Harry was visibly troubled, and the others could see that Severus was worried about him.

"Perhaps we should go," Hermione said softly, and Harry looked up at her, saying,

"No, please don't. This was meant to be a celebration, please don't let this spoil things. Besides, I'd really like to hear what you all think I should do."

They all took seats on the comfortable sitting room furniture, Severus continuing to hold Harry tightly to his side, feeling the desperate need to protect him, to shield him from yet another painful reminder of the horrors he had suffered.

"Kingsley's right Harry," Draco said gently, "you don't have to do anything, not if you don't want to."

"It's just…the thought of everyone knowing…how would I be able to face people if they all knew?"

"We know," Ron said, "you can face us."

"That's different," Harry said with a dismissive shake of his head. "You're family, you love me. I couldn't bear for some stranger on the street to know what happened to me, for people to sit in the pub discussing it, knowing what they…what they did to me. I don't know that I could stand the shame."

"Harry," said Hermione, leaning forward and looking him squarely in the eye, "there is no shame in what happened to you. The only shame lies with the people capable of committing such a heinous act, others will think so too."

Ron rubbed at the slight patch of stubble on his chin and sat with a thoughtful expression for a moment or two before he finally said quietly, "If you do decide to go ahead with it Harry, might I suggest it worth your while to meet with Seamus before the trial starts?"

"What do you mean?" asked Harry with a frown.

"Give him your story, tell it in your words and take control of the situation before any other rag decides to print their version of what happened. Seamus will be fair and will give you a proper chance to get it all out into the open in a way that you see fit. You can decide how people see you, how people see what happened. It'll give you control and set you on a much better footing for going into the trial with."

Severus raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smile at the man; there was a reason the strategically-minded red-head won every single game of chess he ever sat down to.

"Ron's right," Severus said, and the man gave him an amused smile as he did so. "It would strengthen your position and give you a chance to tell it your way. It would stop the papers from reaching their own conclusions and making any wild speculations or conjectures."

Harry nodded, then shook his head tiredly and tucked himself into Severus' side, resting his head on the man's chest as he was held close. "I can't process all of this now," he sighed.

"Then don't," Severus said softly, "place it far from your mind tonight and think on it freshly tomorrow."

"Sev's right," said Ron, no point dwelling on it now. Consider it tomorrow when you can do something about it."

"If you ever call me 'Sev' again I shall ensure that you are never able to procreate," Severus said darkly and Harry burst out laughing, while Ron held up his hands and said,

"Hey! I thought you suited it, and your name's too bloody long to say anyway."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise the trouble that three syllables must have caused you. Hermione, do you realise how inconsiderate you are having such a long name?"

Hermione giggled, and Draco piped up, saying, "He can't help himself. No one in my life had ever called me 'Drake' before I took up with this lunatic and now every bugger does it!"

Harry grinned as his friends and his husband continued to bicker good-naturedly. He snuggled himself into Severus' deliciously strong hold and felt bolstered by the thought that, whatever he decided, he would be surrounded with these wonderful people who loved him and would protect him. He felt stronger than he had done in months and he knew that whatever path he chose to take, he would be supported.

* * *

Severus sighed and cleaned his hands on a damp rag, checking his watch for the umpteenth time that day. Lydia looked up from the cauldron she had been bent over and narrowed her eyes at him, before setting the flame to a low simmer and saying,

"Is something wrong? You're in a very strange mood today…even for you."

Severus laughed in spite of himself and turned to face her, knowing that he shouldn't have been so foolish as to think he could keep anything from her. He knew he had to have to the conversation, he and Harry had agreed upon that very thing earlier that day, but it didn't stop him feeling nervous about it, nor from feeling nervous about what Harry was doing at that very moment.

"Lydia, come and take a seat over here for a moment, I'd like to talk to you," Severus said, moving to sit on one of the high stools behind the workbench, indicating for Lydia to take the one next to him.

Lydia sighed and did so, saying, "What have I done now?"

"No, no it's nothing like that," Severus said with a shake of his head, "you've done nothing wrong. There's something I need to tell you."

"Nothing good I take it?" the girl asked shrewdly.

Severus tilted his head in acknowledgement and pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing deeply that someone else could have this conversation instead of him. "Lydia, the reason Harry isn't at the centre today is because he's currently meeting with a journalist, an old school friend of his in fact. He's meeting with this person because he is soon to go to trial against a group of people that hurt him, and he decided that he wanted to put his side of the story across before the trial started."

Hazel eyes looked at him carefully and Severus knew that Lydia was evaluating every word he said. "In the next few days, the truth will come out about what happened to Harry and undoubtedly people will be talking about it. We wanted to prepare you before that happens and to let you know that we are going to do everything in our power to make the people who hurt Harry pay for it dearly."

Lydia was quiet for a moment, her intelligent face thoughtful, and although Severus was aware that her ninth birthday was just around the corner, to him she looked at least twice that age. "They hurt him very badly, didn't they?" she asked softly.

Severus nodded, then said, "Yes they did. What happened to Harry was…abhorrent, and he's still recovering from it now. They…forced him to do things that no one should ever have to do, and they treated him very cruelly. That's why he decided to press ahead with the trial, he wanted to see them finally brought to justice for what they did to him."

"I always knew he was brave," she said with a gentle smile, one that graced her face but rarely, "but to stand up in court and face the very people that hurt you…that takes a kind of bravery that I don't think many of us have."

Severus couldn't stop himself from smiling at the girl and reaching out and taking her small hand in his. "I see you have as high an opinion of Harry as I do," he said, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.

She grinned at him and said, "I'm not sure it's possible for anyone to have as high an opinion of Harry as you do."

"True," said Severus, releasing her hand, "very true. That actually brings me to something else I must discuss with you, something far pleasanter, I hasten to add."

"Oh?" asked Lydia, her interest obviously piqued.

"Harry and I are…renewing our vows in a couple of months," he said, not feeling the need to explain the temporary nature of his marriage to Harry, nor the need to ensure that it wouldn't end, "and we would both be honoured if you would be there to help us celebrate."

Hazel eyes widened, and before he knew what was happening, Lydia had thrown her arms around his neck and was leaning forward in her stool to hug him tightly. He brought a hand up to pat her somewhat awkwardly on the back and the action seemed to snap her back to her senses. She pulled back quickly, her cheeks bright red, her embarrassment palpable.

"Thank you," she mumbled, looking fixedly down at the floor. "I'd…I'd really like to come." She cleared her throat, still intent on looking downwards, then hopped off her stool, saying, "I have to go and…do…something else. I'll see you on Wednesday."

She moved over to the door and paused on the threshold, finally looking back up at Severus and saying, "Tell Harry that I think what he's doing is amazing, and so will other people."

She turned on her heel and carried off on her way, leaving Severus alone in the makeshift Potions lab, wondering, yet again, at the strange turn his life had taken.

He spent some time cleaning up, decanting the potion that Lydia had left simmering and casting a deep cleaning charm over the utensils and cauldron. Eventually, another glance at his watch told him that surely Harry would be done by now and hopefully safely back at home. With one last glance around to make sure everything was back in its place, he apparated away and back to the estate.

He stood quietly for a moment, before hearing a noise from the kitchen. He listened to the clinking of mugs and whistling of the kettle then moved to find Harry fixing himself a cup of tea.

"Hi," he said softly from the doorway.

Harry turned around and gave him a tired smile. "Hi," he said, before moving forward and wrapping his arms around Severus, pulling himself tightly into the man's hold.

"How are you?" Severus asked as he brought a hand up to cradle up Harry's head, while his other held Harry at the small of his back, rubbing in soothing circles.

"I've been better," Harry replied with a sigh, tucking his head under Severus' chin. "Seamus was great though. He just let me talk and get it all out and then he sat with me for an hour afterwards putting the story together, changing it until we were happy with the way it sounded…the way I came across. He's promised to donate the fee the paper would normally pay in such a circumstance to the centre so…can't complain I suppose. The story will be out when the trial starts…then…everyone will know."

"Everyone will know what those bastards are capable of, what they're being brought to trial for, and this way, they'll hear it properly, in your own words."

Harry sighed and said, "I know, I just can't bear to think that everyone's going to know. How did Lydia take it?"

Severus pulled back slightly and looked down at his husband with a gentle smile, tracing his thumb over Harry's cheekbone. "She said to tell you that you're amazing, and that other people will think you are too."

"Did she really?" Harry asked with a smile.

Severus nodded and said, "She did. She also was…rather demonstrative in her acceptance of our invitation to our wedding renewal." Harry tilted his head slightly and Severus elaborated, "She hugged me."

Harry eyes widened in comical surprise, and he said, "No! Did she really?"

"I was just as surprised as you, though hardly more so than she herself was. I don't think she could quite believe that she'd done it."

Harry gave a soft laugh and said, "Well, I never thought I'd see the day. I also never thought _you'd_ be the person that she'd hug but there you go, life's a funny old thing!"

"What do you say you forget that cup of tea and we go and open a bottle of wine in the summerhouse? It's a beautiful evening, it'd be a shame to waste it."

Harry smiled up at him then leant forward to capture his lips in a slow, sweet kiss. "Sounds perfect, I just want to cocoon myself here for the next week until I have to go and face everything."

Severus ran his hand through Harry's hair and pressed another kiss to his lips before saying, "Whatever the next few weeks bring, we will face them together."

* * *

"I think I'm going to be sick," Harry said as he paced up and down in the antechamber that led to the courtroom. "Why is this taking so long?"

"Harry would you please sit down before you wear a hole through the carpet?" Severus said, looking up at his husband as he continued to tread backwards and forwards agitatedly. "They'll call you in soon, you need to stop getting yourself so worked up."

"Sev's right Harry," said Draco as he sat beside the black-clad man, ignoring the glare that was sent his way at the use of the nickname that Ron had instigated. "You're not going to do yourself any favours by getting agitated like this."

"I know," Harry said with a sigh, raking his hand through his hair and making it even messier than it had been to begin with. He looked paler than he had done in a while, and Severus knew he had had very little sleep the night before. He was worried, both for his husband's welfare, and for what the day ahead would bring.

It was the third day of the trial and both Harry and Draco had been called to give their testimony. Harry had been beside himself all morning, indeed he had had very little peace since the story had been published in the Prophet. He knew it had to be done, but he couldn't stop the sense of devastation that hit him at the realisation that the entirety of the wizarding world would know everything that had happened to him.

Draco stood up and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, dipping his head slightly to look Harry firmly in the eye. "You need to take a couple of deep breaths, love," Draco said gently, and Harry nodded as he did so, focusing on Draco and letting himself be calmed by the blond's calm and gentle demeanour as he said, "You're going to go in there and tell the truth, tell them what happened and what those bastards did to you. I know it's hard, and I know it's the last thing in the world that you want to do, but Severus and I will be there with you and Ron and Hermione are in the stands, just focus on them if you feel yourself slipping."

Severus was grateful that Draco was with them. He had done his best to keep Harry calm, but he knew that in this instance, the blond was far more capable than he was. Harry trusted Draco implicitly, as he had done all that time ago when Draco had been the one to save him and bring him back to the people he loved. Severus could still remember the sight of Harry clinging to him desperately in the hospital wing, Draco soothing and comforting him at a time when Severus, to his chagrin, hadn't cared about the broken man.

"Remember," Draco said firmly but gently, "you aren't the one on trial here, you're just here to present the court with the facts. In an hour's time, this will all be over and you can start to try and put it behind you. You have so much to look forward to, concentrate on the days ahead and let yourself be comforted by the fact that all Rosier and his cronies have to look forward to is a cold cell in Azkaban."

Harry nodded with a slight smile and said, "You're right, I know you're right. It's just…the thought of having to go through it all again, actually having to say it out loud to a group of people…"

"I know," Draco said sincerely, "and I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but we're all here for you. We love you and you're not doing this alone."

Harry took a deep breath and seemed to collect himself, straightening his shoulders, an apparent sense of resolve settling over him. It happened just in time, as the next moment the little door behind them opened and a kindly-looking official stepped forward and said, "Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy, they're ready for you now. Professor Snape, you can take a seat to left of the witness stand."

Severus nodded curtly at the man then turned his attention to Harry, saying softly, "You can do this, I'll be right there the whole time."

Harry nodded, his jaw was set firm, and as the three men were led out into the courtroom, Severus knew that Harry wouldn't falter. Draco and Harry were led into the witness box, and Draco took a seat, while Harry remained standing. Severus himself took his assigned seat and swept his eyes over the stands, locating Ron and Hermione and giving them a brief nod.

The presiding judge, a woman that Severus recognised as a former Ravenclaw he had attended school with, named Deanta Furlong, indicated for the courtroom to fall silent and she waited until it had done so. She glanced down at the paperwork in front of her, then positioned her glasses on the bridge of her nose and looked up at Harry, fixing him with a steady look.

"Mr Potter, thank you very much for agreeing to be here today, I'm sure we can all appreciate how difficult this must be for you." Harry nodded and she continued, "We do not wish to guide you in the statement you are to give, so instead I would like you to tell the court, in your own words, what happened to you during the period of the 1st to the 5th August the year before last."

Severus watched as Harry braced his hands on the rail in front of him and took a deep breath before he said a surprisingly strong voice, "I was captured on the edge of Hogsmeade after I'd had a meeting at Hogwarts with Headmaster Dumbledore. I was stunned and knocked unconscious and when I came to…I was chained to a wall in a dungeon. I was…I was naked and I had no wand, I didn't even have my glasses. I was left there alone for at least half a day and then…then it started."

Harry paused, and Severus could see that his left hand had started to tremble. It hadn't happened for so long and Severus could only sit and pray that this whole experience would set Harry's recovery back and threaten the peace that they had found together.

"Over the next few days I was subjected to all forms of torture," Harry said, keeping his eyes on the rail in front of him. "I had the Cruciatus cast on me until I lost consciousness, I was beaten and had several of my bones broken. They ripped my fingernails out and they had…tools, instruments, that they used to torture me."

Severus saw that Harry's knuckles were white from where he was gripping onto the rail so tightly and all he wanted was to step into the witness box and wrap his husband up in his arms, to protect him from the horrors that he had to face and the pain that he was suffering.

Tears had begun to form in Harry's eyes but he seemed determined to finish and he raised his head, tilting his jaw defiantly as he looked at the judge and the rest of the bench unwaveringly. "They raped me," he said softly, and a surge of shocked whispers circulated round the room. "All of them, they all raped me, hourly, every single day. They were relentless in their cruelty and they made sure that they inflicted as much pain as possible when they did it…even going so far as to cast the Cruciatus multiple times while they…while they did it."

Severus could see that several members of bench had tears in their eyes, as did Hermione, and Ron wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a firm hug. The whole room seemed to have been affected by Harry's words and Severus was so proud of his husband's strength, for the amazing tenacity the man possessed to be able to stand in front of others and confront his demons head on.

"They broke me in every way possible," Harry said in a whisper. "They left me on that dungeon floor bruised, bloodied, drifting in and out of consciousness, and as I lay there I prayed for death. I wanted an end to it, I was desperate for the pain to stop, for the fear to end. Every time I heard the door open, I was terrified, I couldn't bare to face whatever new torture they had devised for me and I just needed it all to be done. If Draco hadn't found me when he did…I would have found a way to kill myself."

Severus closed his eyes against the onslaught of pain he felt slice through him at Harry's words. He had heard the account from Harry before, in the dark and cold hours of the night as he had held the man close to his chest and let him unburden himself through harsh sobs and ragged breaths, but it didn't lessen the sting of hearing it all over again.

"I'm standing here today because I want to make sure that the remaining people responsible for what happened to me are brought to justice, so that I can finally begin to find some peace and begin to reconcile myself to what happened to me. They took everything from me, they broke my body and my spirit and if it weren't for the fact that I have four of the most incredible people in my life, I wouldn't be alive today, I would have given in months ago and taken a razor blade to my wrists.

"I want to leave you all in no doubt that the men you have in custody are the most evil, cruel, sadistic excuses for human beings that you could ever have the misfortune of meeting, and I hope with all my heart that you find a way to make them pay for their crimes."

There was silence for a moment before Ms Furlong cleared her throat and composed herself enough to say, "Thank you Mr Potter, I'm sure I speak for the entire bench when I say that we commend your courage in being able to speak to us today and we very much hope that this will go some way to helping you recover from your terrible ordeal. Please, take a seat and take some time to recover yourself. Mr Malfoy, if you would take the stand please."

Draco was called to give his testimony and he told the court of how he had found Harry after realising that he was being held at a house that his father's family had once owned years ago and had since fallen into disrepair. He told of the state he found Harry in and how he had killed his own father in order to get Harry safely back to Hogwarts, just in time before he succumbed to his wounds.

The issue of the blood magic that had been used was brought up and Ms Furlong assured the court that this issue would be addressed the next day when a specialist was being brought in to testify. She did, however, address the fact that Harry had been forced to marry Severus in order to stop Rosier and his cronies from exploiting the link that had been created, and Severus and Harry exchanged a rather amused glance as Ms Furlong emphasised what an awful turn of events that had to be to rob the two men of their liberty in such a way.

The session eventually wound down and Harry and Draco were dismissed. They all made their way back to little antechamber where Ron and Hermione eventually joined them, each pulling Harry into a hug and telling him how proud they were of him. Eventually, Severus was allowed to take Harry home, and he ordered him straight into a hot bath, after which he instructed him to take a sedative that he himself had brewed the day before.

They sat in front of the fire in the library, Severus holding Harry as close as was physically possible, murmuring words of comfort as he stroked his hair. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered, and Harry nestled in deeply to his hold.

"I'm so glad it's over," Harry said quietly. "I never want to go through that ever again." He tilted his head upwards to look at Severus and said, "I wouldn't have been able to do it if it hadn't have been for you. Knowing you were there, knowing I'd be coming back here with you, it made it all possible."

" _You_ made it possible, your strength, your courage. You really are the most remarkable man, Harry," he told him with a loving smile.

"Take me to bed," Harry murmured, and Severus brushed the hair from his forehead, saying,

"Are you sure?"

Harry nodded and said, "I need you tonight."

Severus took his hand and led him up the stairs and into their bedroom. It truly was theirs now; Severus hadn't slept in his own room in months and even when all that happened between them was a quick cuddle before they fell asleep, there was no question of them both going to bed in what had been Harry's room.

He peeled his own clothes off then stripped Harry slowly, kissing every inch of Harry's flesh as it was exposed, sinking to his knees to remove Harry' trousers and underwear and taking Harry's erection to the back of his throat. A hand came to twine in his hair as he sucked relentlessly on Harry's swollen prick, and he ran his hands up the back of Harry's legs to come to cup his firm and pert backside.

He stopped what he was doing long enough to stand and pull Harry into his arms, carrying him to the bed and laying him down upon it, grabbing their trusty vial of lubricant from the nightstand. He prepared Harry gently as he kissed him, plundering his mouth with his tongue as his fingers moved in and out of the pliant body beneath him.

He eventually moved to place himself inside Harry and he held him tightly as he made love to him, chasing away all thoughts of the trial and the demons that continued to plague the beautiful man beneath him. He moved in slow, languid thrusts, with no need to rush, no need to reach completion in a quick flurry of activity. They savoured each other's bodies, savoured the feel of such an absolute connection as they joined in the most intimate way possible.

Harry's back arched and his head dropped back against the pillow as he gripped Severus tightly and urged him ever forward, deeper and deeper inside himself. Severus pushed all thoughts but those of his husband to the back of his mind, not wanting to spend a moment thinking of anything but the man's pleasure, of his own as it crept up upon him. They came within seconds of each other, then lay side by side in the semi-darkness, breathless and sated. Severus pulled Harry to him, unable to bear a moment of Harry's skin not pressed against his.

"I love you," he whispered into the nape of Harry's neck, unable to believe how at ease he felt at saying the words, wanting to say them as often as he could to leave no doubt in Harry's mind as to his feelings.

"I love you too," Harry murmured back with a gentle smile. "You were right, I feel it every time you hold me, every time you make love to me. When you're inside me the world falls away and all that matters is the two of us. I never want it to stop, I never want to be without you."

"That is not a concern you ever need to worry about," Severus told him certainly and Harry emitted a contented little sigh as he let himself drift off to sleep, safe and protected in his husband's arms.

* * *

_Epilogue_

_~*~ 7 years later ~*~_

Harry poured himself a cup of coffee as he sat down at the table in the kitchen of Oak Ridge, deciding that he had earnt the small pleasure, and that if anyone tried to part him from his much need caffeine, he would hex them into oblivion.

"Why are you hiding in here?" said Severus as he entered the kitchen, obviously having been searching for his husband.

"Severus, my love," Harry said through gritted teeth, "if you are about to suggest that I remove myself from this kitchen, you will be needing to remove my foot from your arse."

"That's not very polite, Dad," Lydia told him as she breezed into the kitchen and plucked the cup of coffee from his hands, taking a swig before handing it back to him.

"I wish you'd stop doing that," he groused, and Lydia stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"You know, people are looking for you out there, you're due to make your announcement in a few minutes," Lydia said, folding her arms and standing next to Severus.

Harry looked at the two of them in disconcertion and said, "Could you please not stand like that? It's like a mini version of Sev, and honestly, one is enough."

"He says the most romantic things to you, Pa," Lydia told Severus with a grin. "I don't know how you stand it."

"Years of practice sweetheart," Severus told Lydia, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. At 15, she had shot up and was only a few inches shorter than Severus. Her hair still hung in loose auburn waves, just past her shoulders and she had grown into a pretty and confident young woman.

Severus and Harry had taken the decision to adopt the girl a few months after they had renewed their marriage, realising that it was the obvious step to take. They had both come to love the girl dearly, and they knew that they could offer her a home that would not only suit her, but enable her to thrive.

They had never regretted their decision, even though they had gone through some truly rough patches as a family. Lydia would always be difficult, she would always have trouble integrating with others and her intelligence was sometimes more than either Severus or Harry could handle. However, she adored both men, and not long after her adoption she had come to them both and very shyly asked if she could refer to them as 'Dad' and 'Pa'. Harry been beside himself and Severus had to admit, he had come as close to tears of joy as he had ever done in his entire life.

"Dad," Lydia said, "you can't sulk in here much longer. Uncle Draco is getting ready to hunt you down and rip off certain parts of your anatomy."

"Uncle Draco isn't the only one," came Ron's voice as he entered the kitchen, balancing a dark-haired three-year-old on his hip. "Your son decided that today wasn't the day for socks," he said, handing the little boy over to Severus. "We had quite an argument about it."

Severus smirked as he took his son from Ron's arms and said, "No socks eh?"

"Too hot," the little boy said. "Didn't want them, and they were green."

"Is something wrong with green?" asked Severus, obviously ready to defend his House's honour.

"I like blue better, I want Uncle Ron's socks."

"Uncle Ron's socks won't fit you, you little imp," Ron said, ruffling the boy's hair and leaning over to blow a raspberry onto the boy's cheek, eliciting a happy giggle as he did so.

"We can find you some blue socks, Alex," said Lydia, smiling fondly at her brother. Of all the people in her life, Lydia unequivocally adored the little boy and she was the only one who could soothe his more fractious tempers.

Severus and Harry had sat down with Lydia when the idea of having their own child had first come up between them as a couple. They had asked for her permission, assuring her that the arrival of their own child would in no way diminish their love for her. She hadn't been entirely thrilled by the idea at first, but she had seen how Harry was with Ron and Draco's little girl, and even Severus had seemed captivated by her whenever they brought her over.

As was the case with gay couples who wanted a child of their own, each of their sperm was taken and magic had been used to create an embryo, which was then implanted into a surrogate who carried the baby to term and gave birth to him. They had originally decided to find a surrogate through an agency, but Hermione, to both of their surprise, had offered to carry the baby for them, and a little over three years ago, Alex had been born, completing Severus and Harry's little family.

Draco and Hermione appeared in the kitchen, Hermione with Draco and Ron's four-year-old daughter and Draco holding his new-born son in his arms.

"Oi, you four-eyed little twerp," Draco said to Harry as he handed the baby over to Ron, "you've left me out there with those bloody wolves for the last hour, it's your turn to take some of the slack."

"Oh no it isn't," Harry said, glaring back at him, "I've been speaking with those sodding investors all morning, it's your turn."

"Language please in front of the children, especially all the children I gave birth to," said Hermione, giving Tamsin, Ron and Draco's little girl, an ice cream from the freezer, earning herself a beaming smile in return.

"Lydie's mouth is worse than all of ours anyway," said Ron with a smirk and the girl turned to shoot him a look that was eerily like one of Severus'.

"Lydie doesn't count as one of the children at 15-years-old," Lydia shot back. It was a well-known fact amongst their little family that Ron was her favourite and always had been. There was something about him that Lydia responded well to, and Ron seemed to be able tread the fine line between teasing her enough to make her smile but not enough to irritate her.

"So, tell me," Ron said, as he began to gently rock his son as the little boy started to fuss a little in his arms, "how are you feeling about going into your 5th year?"

Lydia sighed and said, "I'm not thrilled about the OWLS, I hate exams but at least I've got my Potions one out of the way already and Uncle Blaise is pretty sure that I can take my NEWT this year so that'll be another one done."

"We'll set up a tutoring schedule for the others honey," said Hermione, "you're so clever, you just panic when it comes to exam situations."

Blaise had stayed on at Hogwarts as Potions Professor, and a little under two years ago, he and Hermione had married. She lived with him in Hogwarts, as, as Head of Slytherin, Blaise was unable to live off the campus and the two of them had a very happy marriage. They had both decided against children, although Hermione had given birth to both Harry and Ron's children, and loved her honourary nieces and nephews dearly; the family lifestyle simply wasn't for them.

Hermione was now a fully-fledged solicitor and she divided her time between representing several high-profile firms, Oak Ridge and those clients who couldn't afford to pay for legal representation.

"Thanks Auntie Hermione," said Lydia with a sigh, "I've never been able to get my head around exams, they're just so…unnatural."

"Couldn't agree with you more," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "I always hated the damn things too. Every exam I had to take to progress through the Auror levels nearly killed me, even the practical stuff, it's a wonder they let me through at all."

"We've all been saying that," Severus told him with a smirk as he shifted Alex on his hip.

"Oh shut up you old sod," Ron said good-naturedly. "Drake, Aiden needs changing, I'm going to go and sort him out then we really should get back out there. Harry, you're due to start your speech in five minutes."

"I hate speeches," Harry groaned, letting his head fall forward onto the table in front of him, as Ron left the room with his son.

"You want my ice cream, Uncle Harry?" asked Tamsin, moving round to the table and proffering the treat to him. "It always cheers me up."

"Aw honey that's so sweet of you," said Harry with a laugh, "but you keep it, you've earnt it looking after your Dad all day. Have you been making sure he behaves himself?"

Tamsin looked back towards Draco and nodded her strawberry-blonde head seriously, saying, "Yes, he's been very good, Nana and Granddad said so too."

"Speaking of which," said Draco, "I promised Molly and Arthur I'd be right back, I was only meant to go and hunt down a pot of tea for them. Come on Tams, let's go and see what Uncle Fred and Uncle George are up to. They said they were bringing something special from the shop for you…hopefully nothing that will make your Pa turn that interesting shade of red," Draco said, sharing a conspiratorial smile with his daughter. "Come on 'Mione," he said, turning to address her, "better go and rescue that husband of yours, you know he doesn't handle these social functions well."

"Mm, must be a Slytherin thing," said Hermione, shooting a cheeky wink back at Severus as she and Draco left, Tamsin in tow.

"You're getting heavy," Severus told his son and Harry stood up from the table, moving over to his husband and taking Alex from him and covering his face in sloppy kisses.

"Daddy!" the little boy giggled, wriggling and swatting at Harry's face with his little hands. "Tickles!"

"Can you go and give Daddy's speech for him, pickle? I'm sick of standing in front of these Ministry people, talking nonsense."

"It isn't nonsense, Dad," Lydia insisted. "You're opening a second centre, that's a pretty big deal," she said, sharing a look with Severus.

"I know," said Harry with a sigh, "and I'm intensely proud of it, and of everyone who's worked so hard to bring it all together, I just hate these functions. I just want to be back doing the normal everyday stuff with the kids, I wasn't meant for business."

"You're the Boy Who Lived," Lydia told him with a smirk, "despite the fact that you're way too old at 28 to be called a 'boy' anymore."

"Gee thanks sweetheart, just what everyone wants to hear, that they're 'too old'. Honestly, between my husband and my daughter, I'm spoilt, utterly spoilt." He turned to the little boy on his hip and said, "You'd better start to learn to say nice things to me."

"Ah there you all are!" came a voice from the doorway and they all turned to see Luke there, his handsome face lit up with its usual smile.

"Well, if it isn't the new Head Boy of Hogwarts," said Harry with a grin, and Luke dipped his head modestly.

"I still can't believe it, my Aunt's beside herself, she's insisting on taking me to Diagon Alley tomorrow to buy me some new robes."

Luke was about to enter his 7th year at Hogwarts and had received the letter a couple of days ago to inform him that he would be Head Boy. He had flooed straight away to Harry and Severus' to inform Lydia. The two had continued their friendship ever since their time together at the centre, and although they were two years apart at school, they were incredibly close. They looked on each other as a brother and sister and despite the fact that he was in Hufflepuff and she in Ravenclaw, they spent all their time at Hogwarts together.

Luke had a wide circle of friends; he was a very popular boy thanks to his open and affable nature, and people naturally responded to him. Lydia was not what people would refer to as popular, preferring the company of adults to those her own age, but besides Luke she had a couple of close friends in her own house that she got along with very well and Severus and Harry could rest easy knowing that she wouldn't be on her own when Luke left at the end of his 7th year.

"Very well deserved," said Severus warmly. He was very fond of Luke, and the boy was a welcome and very frequent visitor to the estate.

"Thanks Severus," Luke said with a smile. "Harry, they're setting up the stage now, you're going to have to come and do your speech."

Harry groaned and reluctantly handed Alex over to Lydia, saying, "Lydie, you and Luke take Alex out and make sure he has his hat on, it's really sunny out there. Me and your Pa will be out in a couple of minutes."

"Psyching yourself up eh?" Lydia asked with a grin as she shifted the little boy on her hip, kissing his cheek as he giggled happily in his sister's arms.

"Oh shut up and get out," he said and Lydia did as instructed, carrying her brother out of the kitchen, Luke following, throwing Harry a grin over his shoulder as he went.

"Do you know what you're going to say?" Severus asked, moving forward and wrapping his arms around his husband.

"I'll just do my usual spiel," Harry said with a sigh as he brought his arms up to circle Severus' neck. He began his practiced ministrations, moving his hand in small circles at the base of Severus' hairline.

"If you think you're getting out of this speech by enticing me to fuck you, then you can think again," Severus said with a growl.

Harry pouted and said, "Well then, can I have a quick one for good luck?"

"Absolutely not," Severus said, then added with a smirk, "you've already had your good luck fuck for the day."

"Mm," Harry said, pulling himself up against Severus, "that was really good."

Harry couldn't stop himself from smiling at the memory of waking up with Severus' mouth wrapped around his cock, performing the most sinfully exquisite moves with his tongue as he stroked him into waking. Harry had writhed with pleasure, biting down hard on his lip to stop himself from making any noise as Severus moved to slowly fuck him with his tongue. He had lain there as Severus tortured him mercilessly, moving his tongue in and out of him with aching talent.

Harry had been practically begging by the time Severus pushed into him in one hot, hard thrust, sheathing himself fully and staying perfectly still for a moment until Harry had wound his legs around his waist and said in a low growl, "If you don't start fucking me right now I will hex it off!" Severus had laughed and leant forward to capture Harry's lips in a bruising kiss as he thrust hard into Harry, pushing him into the mattress with each deep surge forward.

Harry had had to throw up a quick silencing charm as he found himself unable to hold in his cries of pleasure, screaming Severus' name when he had come all over them both, Severus following merely moments later.

"Are you sure you can't be persuaded to a little repeat performance, to keep your husband happy?"

Severus smiled and leant forward to press a soft kiss to his lips, saying, "As you well know, I would do anything to keep you happy, but only you can give this speech, and your adoring public is waiting."

"Another centre, I can't believe it, it seems like only yesterday we were opening this place and now here we are. Mind you," Harry added with a laugh, "there's so much that's changed since then, it feels like I'm living a different life."

He paused and smiled, tilting his head in that way that Severus had never found a way of resisting, still finding it utterly adorable seven years down the line.

"I have a husband that I adore and two children that I would die for ," Harry said softly, continuing to stroke the back of Severus' neck. "I never imagined that I would be this happy or this settled. You made it all possible."

" _You_ made it possible Harry," Severus said softly, "I'm just amazed you've stuck with me all these years."

"I'm not going anywhere, I told you once before, you're saddled with me for life. Any complaints?"

"Not one my love, not one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it for this story. Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed how it ended. Please leave me a comment and let me know.


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